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Old 05-11-2018, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Texas
5,344 posts, read 1,916,949 times
Reputation: 11354

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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
if you cannot politely express your "regrets", you have as much of a problem as the "child-centric" parent you described.
I never said I didn't politely express my regrets. Go back and read what I said, carefully. Reading comprehension is important.
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Old 05-11-2018, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia/South Jersey area
1,999 posts, read 903,535 times
Reputation: 6673
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I will NEVER understand why it's so hard for some people to say "No thank you", and why there has to be resentment.


I'm not just picking you out PriscillaVanilla. I see it all over these forums, where something comes up, and people stress over how they're going to respond, and they blame the inviter...when it's just so easy to say a version of "No thanks".


And regarding graduation invites...maybe it's different now, but back in the day, receiving an invitation was not necessarily an RSVP thing. You got an invitation and/or an announcement for the scrapbook. I used to get graduation invitations from cousins and old friends...and they didn't expect me to attend...it was more like an announcement of an achievement.


And yes, I know that announcements and invitations are not technically the same thing. But I also know that for many, Buying the whole shebang of announcements, invitations, envelopes, etc., can get expensive, when a lot of things are getting expensive around graduation time.
So for me it depends on whose inviting me. For my godson, I was definitely glad to get invited,I've been a part of this kids life since day one, so even knowing the big snore that graduations can be, when he said he wanted me to be there, it was a no brainer.

I also say no to a lot of things.

Now for my sons graduation we only got 5 invitations so that made it easy. we had a blow out party/bbq for the entire family.
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
6,161 posts, read 3,289,529 times
Reputation: 14510
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
This woman believes the world revolves around her son and she's been known to end friendships with people who forgot his birthday. She thinks they hate him and are trying to persecute him in some way.
Why would you even wish to stay friends with such a silly person?
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Denver area
21,033 posts, read 21,773,675 times
Reputation: 35109
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I never said I didn't politely express my regrets.
You indicated that people were *afraid* to respond in a rude manner. What exactly was the point of that? No one here is arguing that graduation ceremonies aren't long and boring or that people who (for whatever reason) bring small children and infants, shouldn't immediately leave so as not to disturb the ceremony, or even that it shouldn't be limited to close family members. So why the need to promote a snarky and rude response to someone who is presumably a "friend"?
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:07 AM
 
373 posts, read 151,799 times
Reputation: 1518
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
We sat through a long high school graduation ceremony for someone I know who invited twenty (20) people she knew to attend. (As if graduating from high school is some big accomplishment, personally I don't think it is these days.) This woman believes the world revolves around her son and she's been known to end friendships with people who forgot his birthday. She thinks they hate him and are trying to persecute him in some way. It's not always that simple. We went through a difficult time of unemployment and stressed over not having money to buy her kid a decent graduation present. We wondered if she would go cold shoulder on us. It wasn't easy.
Why would you want to maintain a friendship with someone like this? Life's too short.
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:13 AM
 
3,550 posts, read 1,194,628 times
Reputation: 8313
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
They're also afraid to say "Your kid's graduation ceremony is of no interest to me. I'd rather not go."

Really? Why is it so hard to say "oh gosh, graduation already?!? Please tell (kid's name) congratulations for me, and that I wish him/her the very best. I won't be able to attend the commencement, but I'll send him/her a congratulations card!


Geez people. Presumably, whoever's asking you to these things, are giving you an honor, by thinking enough of you to include you in their special day. If you can't/don't want to participate, there are nice ways to let them know.


Carrying around resentments at your friends is ridiculous.
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:23 AM
 
10,081 posts, read 6,280,792 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
Lol. Back when i graduated you only got 4 tickets, just enough for immediate family. This was for my godson. It was dull as dishwater. I am super proud of the kid but it was 3 hours looong. Lol plus a screaming toddler
Graduations are super boring...hate them. But I agree a baby screaming the whole time would be awful. I took my kids to a loooooong graduation when they were 6 and 7. Clearly they couldn't sit quietly for 3 hours. So after we settled in I took them outside in a common area...a lot of parents with young ones. My husband texted me when our loved one's name was coming up. We went in, watched, clapped, walked out and found a near by coffee shop for a snack and hung out until it was over.

I agree its very rude to let a baby stay in there crying.
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:26 AM
 
3,550 posts, read 1,194,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
So for me it depends on whose inviting me. For my godson, I was definitely glad to get invited,I've been a part of this kids life since day one, so even knowing the big snore that graduations can be, when he said he wanted me to be there, it was a no brainer.

I also say no to a lot of things.

Now for my sons graduation we only got 5 invitations so that made it easy. we had a blow out party/bbq for the entire family.

And that's cool. I GET not necessarily wanting to attend. I'm just saying there are nice and polite ways of saying 'no', and there's doesn't have to be all this stress and resentment toward supposed friends for getting invited.


(and to the person who messaged me, yeah, I've noticed. LOL )
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Texas
5,344 posts, read 1,916,949 times
Reputation: 11354
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post

Geez people. Presumably, whoever's asking you to these things, are giving you an honor, by thinking enough of you to include you in their special day. .
I also think it's rude to invite a non-family member to graduation. I come from a different generation. We didn't have preschool graduations, kindergarten graduations, elementary school graduations. These things were considered ordinary achievements, not special at all. And that's still how I feel about them. My opinion about these events and who should be invited to them won't change.
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Old 05-11-2018, 10:30 AM
 
3,550 posts, read 1,194,628 times
Reputation: 8313
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I do say "No thanks" to lots of invites and people who are well adjusted and normal usually don't have a problem with it. But it can be very hard to tell someone you don't want to attend their child's events if they think the world revolves around that child. We sat through a long high school graduation ceremony for someone I know who invited twenty (20) people she knew to attend. (As if graduating from high school is some big accomplishment, personally I don't think it is these days.) This woman believes the world revolves around her son and she's been known to end friendships with people who forgot his birthday. She thinks they hate him and are trying to persecute him in some way. It's not always that simple. We went through a difficult time of unemployment and stressed over not having money to buy her kid a decent graduation present. We wondered if she would go cold shoulder on us. It wasn't easy.

And if she DID go cold shoulder on you...what then? Was she family? Would it have been awkward somehow, if she cut you all out of her life?
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