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Old 05-12-2018, 07:25 PM
 
1,605 posts, read 653,395 times
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Wondering your take on Mother's Day. I have a friend that loves her only child, her daughter, but they haven't been speaking for 3 years. There was a lawsuit involved where the daughter sued her mother. The issue? Money. Nothing new.

She would love contact with her daughter again now that the lawsuit is settled. This Mother's Day she's heartbroken over her daughter. Most of her friends said to forget and move on. I told her to write down what she'd like to say to her daughter and keep a journal. Something to pass on or look back on if they do start communicating.

Any thoughts? I'll pass on some suggestions. My fear is the daughter will return when she runs out of money.
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Old 05-12-2018, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
38,162 posts, read 36,980,940 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sollaces View Post
Wondering your take on Mother's Day. I have a friend that loves her only child, her daughter, but they haven't been speaking for 3 years. There was a lawsuit involved where the daughter sued her mother. The issue? Money. Nothing new.

She would love contact with her daughter again now that the lawsuit is settled. This Mother's Day she's heartbroken over her daughter. Most of her friends said to forget and move on. I told her to write down what she'd like to say to her daughter and keep a journal. Something to pass on or look back on if they do start communicating.

Any thoughts? I'll pass on some suggestions. My fear is the daughter will return when she runs out of money.
I'm sure there is way too much history for us to really weigh in on here.

If there is a chance her daughter would, as you say, return when she runs out of money after suing her mother over money, then what good would it do for them to be in contact again?

Tell your friend that it is fine to mourn the relationship she doesn't have with her daughter, but that she needs to try to focus on other parts of her life.

The journal is a really great idea.
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Old 05-14-2018, 01:27 AM
 
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Yes, I thought a journal was a good idea. She said this Mother's Day she was in mourning. That's sad. Many of her friends have said to forget the daughter. I mentioned therapy too, just so she can learn some coping skills.

I didn't know if anyone else has had a rupture in the family and if there was something else I can tell my friend.

Thanks for your thoughts.
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Old 05-14-2018, 06:11 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
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My husband and his mother don't speak anymore. In his case, it's for the best. Some relationships cannot and should not be mended.

About your friend, it's almost certain that you don't have the whole story from both sides, so the less you get involved in your friend's issue, the better for your friendship.
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Texas
5,986 posts, read 2,142,285 times
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Originally Posted by Sollaces View Post
Wondering your take on Mother's Day. I have a friend that loves her only child, her daughter, but they haven't been speaking for 3 years. There was a lawsuit involved where the daughter sued her mother. The issue? Money. Nothing new. .
There are 2 sides to the story. Someone can't sue their parent to get money for no reason. Courts won't award money without some legal justification for doing so.

Last edited by PriscillaVanilla; 05-14-2018 at 08:39 AM..
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Old 05-14-2018, 02:58 PM
 
1,605 posts, read 653,395 times
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Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
There are 2 sides to the story. Someone can't sue their parent to get money for no reason. Courts won't award money without some legal justification for doing so.
Yes. I simplified the reason because that's what it boiled down to. It was a complicated inheritance issue involving land. Yes there are two sides to every story.
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Old 05-15-2018, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
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Originally Posted by Sollaces View Post
Yes. I simplified the reason because that's what it boiled down to. It was a complicated inheritance issue involving land. Yes there are two sides to every story.
OMG, inheritances! I was very lucky, my brother had little interest in what he inherited. Of course, we shared my parents' estate, with mom being the last to die. My husband's family, especially a couple of sisters-in-law, were awful. Fortunately, my MIL lived to be 98, the last 15 months in a nursing home, so there wasn't much left. I am amazed there was any money left, frankly. They were good stewards. And I've heard many other horror stories about inheritances as well.
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Old 05-15-2018, 10:51 AM
 
Location: planet earth
2,553 posts, read 908,820 times
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There are online groups for estranged parents where they can get support for truly heartbreaking situations. I think that would help your friend.

I don't think journaling is a good idea because it keeps the problem active in her everyday life.

I think it would be most helpful for her to mourn, yes, AND begin to let go and live a life without her daughter . . . Mother's Days will be hard - other days will be hard. But once your child sues you over money, I don't know if there can be any going back - especially if the kid shows no remorse. It would be different if the kid came to her and apologized, but unless or until that happens, for her mental health, she has got to move on.
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