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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 6 days ago)
35,627 posts, read 17,953,728 times
Reputation: 50650
Quote:
Originally Posted by mizzile
So what? Those were YOUR kids. THESE kids are NOT your kids. Butt out.
All this talk of 'dropping by unannounced' and "see for yourself" and "call CPS" are just really over the top and pretty insane. MYOB.
I think about the MOST a person could reasonably do is ask the neighbor if he wants help during those two hours. if he does, great, now you are stuck watching his kids and NO you should not expect him to pay you. If he does not, then BUTT OUT FOREVER.
Mizzile, it seems you're espousing an outdated idea - that used to be the philosophy of the US before the early 1900's - that children are the property of their parents, and the welfare of those children who are not your own children are not one bit your business. Similar to how we treat furniture.
Thankfully we've progressed beyond that, and realize human beings aren't possessions of other human beings, and the wellbeing of the children in our community is everyone's concern.
It's not ok to witness abuse and neglect and turn away, because you know, they're not your own kids being endangered.
I'm still thinking about the best way to approach my neighbor. I'm not going to call the police or cps.
OK. I wish there was a way to convince you otherwise, but that's the parameter you have set. Would you be comfortable talking to the counselor at the kids' school? If not, I'd suggest talking to the parents. Tell them what you told us in the OP, minus the stuff about the other neighbors. Offer your daughter's babysitting services. Do not say she'd watch the kids for free. As someone said earlier, people do tend to act more responsibly if they know someone's watching them. There has even been some research about that.
Summer is coming. I'd keep a close eye on what's going on then. You may have to bite the bullet and call CPS if they're leaving these kids all day long.
Quote:
Originally Posted by livingsinglenyc
Go over with your daughter and say Hi my daughter is looking to take on some new baby sitting clients. Here's her card, if you ever need a baby sitter for your children let us know.
So you really don't know as much about the situation as you claimed. And "someone rushed home"? How many of us have jobs where a) We can hold a lengthy conversation with our kid (or anyone) on work time and b) can "rush home" if there's a problem at home?
It doesn't matter how many of us had these kinds of jobs. It matters THEY HAD A JOB WHERE THEY COULD DO THIS. Living next door, and them being friends with my son, yes I know they rushed home. They worked 1/2 mile away
You seem to be having some serious issues with this, balking at every turn. Why?
People go visit unannounced. Don't listen to these "experts" online. You may need to call CPS, you may not.
Quote:
Many people live 10s of miles from their jobs, and have jobs where you have to be available the whole time you're at work, such as teachers, nurses, etc.
Yes there are a lot of different circumstances in the world.
Quote:
I have raised two of my own and spent a career in pediatrics. We had to test vision at age 4. Many of those kids had a hard time following the simple directions for a picture eye chart. I can imagine trying to solve some problem at home.
My last sentence was sarcastic. What can go wrong, will.
What can go wrong will? That is an interesting comment since my neighbors did just fine with this arrangement. That is a false assumption. We are all concerned about what MIGHT happen, no one can say what WILL Happen. That is being disingenuous.
Last edited by ItIsWritten.; 05-16-2018 at 09:03 PM..
OK. I wish there was a way to convince you otherwise, but that's the parameter you have set. Would you be comfortable talking to the counselor at the kids' school?
If she talks to the counselor at school, (s)he will probably be required by law to contact CPS.
If I knew the neighbor, I would tell him to put my phone number where the kids could call me in case they needed any help. Otherwise, I’d mind my own business.
I'm still thinking about the best way to approach my neighbor. I'm not going to call the police or cps.
Lie.
Normally I’d be opposed to lying because it’s, well ... a lie but I think this is one of those “ends justify the means” scenarios.
Approach the parents & pretend that it never crossed your mind that they might actually know that their kids are home alone. Tell them you wanted them to know that the woman who brings them home everyday doesn’t even go inside. Pretend like you’re concerned that they might be getting ripped off & tell them that you might be able to help out.
That way there is no implication that you are “blaming” them.
I’m going to give everyone saying “MYOB” the benefit of the doubt. Because I bet if this were happening with your next door neighbor, it wouldn’t be so easy to just MYOB.
This would drive me nuts if it were happening next door to me & I don’t think I’d last long trying to MMOB.
My neighbor has someone pick up his 4 and 5 year olds from school and drop them off at home at 3pm, where they're alone until the parents get home at 5. He hasn't said anything about it, but it's obvious to me, and I'm sure other neighbors have noticed. Our state doesn't have an official age at which kids can stay home alone, but people do get in trouble for leaving little kids home alone.
I have a 16 year old daughter who would be happy to watch the little girls and doesn't care at all if she gets paid to watch them. I just can't figure out how to approach the neighbor about it. I don't want him to think it's creepy that I've noticed, or if I should just ignore it or tell him at the very least that I'm home if the kids have an emergency.
What should I do? Mind my own business because the school year is almost over, or say something?
I'd wait until school is over and see what happens during a full day of summer break.
And if it was me, I'd be trying to make friends with the neighbors, just because they're my neighbors. Then you can ask more about the kids and if they need any help.
Do you know for sure the girls are that young? My adopted 9 year old granddaughter is frequently mistaken for a 5 year old.
If you haven't heard any sounds of distress or problems over there yet during the times you think they're alone, maybe the parents have raised well behaved little girls who have a specific list of things to do during the two hours. Maybe pre-prepared snack, homework, chores, iPad games, movie. Maybe the parents are connected via Facetime or camera.
Even my 3 year old grandson knows how to call me, kids are very advanced.
I ran a daycare. 4 and 5 year old kids are not safe alone for any amount of time. This is not low grade risk. This is high grade risk. Act accordingly.
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