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Old 05-15-2018, 10:41 AM
 
371 posts, read 146,387 times
Reputation: 635

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
No...you can't just send a teenager over to the house without the permission of the father. Then he comes home from work, and there's just someone in his house, playing with his little kids? That's not a good plan.



If it were me, as the grown up, I'D take a plate of cookies over, (a plate of cookies or brownies always makes a good peace offering) and explain you've noticed the kids come home to an empty house every day. Then ask; "Would you like Susie Q to come over and stay with them until you come home?"


I wouldn't mention that all the neighbors have noticed as well. Who wants to know they're the talk of the neighborhood like that?


OP, I think it's nice, and being a good, kind neighbor, in being willing to help in this situation. :-)
We've been in this situation already ourselves, no biggie. We found out the kids of that age were spending much of the 2 hrs a day talking to someone on the telephone and watching a movie. Sometimes they'd come over to our house, but often I visited them. No biggie.

Just relax.


Go over and visit. See what's happening. Become part of the kids life. Neighbors need to be active in their neighborhood anyhow.

This drama is unnecessary. Cops don't need to be called as of yet. We don't have the facts YET. Just go over there. Daughter, you, whoever. Just go visit them
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:26 PM
 
3,550 posts, read 1,194,628 times
Reputation: 8313
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Who cares about them getting defensive? It's illegal to leave young children alone, and for a reason.

Are we losing sight of the main objective here, which is making sure those little kids are safe on a day-to-day basis?

I'm beginning to understand why tragedies occur and afterwards it turns out that everyone knew this was happening but none of them lifted a finger to intervene....for fear of causing embarrassment.

I don't think anyone is losing the main objective here. We all want what is safe for the kids. That is why the OP IS willing to get involved. Now the question is HOW to get involved, and OP has generously offered to help.


IF the parents refuse the help, or IF the parents don't already have some kind of help, then yeah, call CFS.


Why isn't enough that OP knows? Why is it important that these parents know the whole neighborhood talks about them? Unless, of course, the whole neighborhood plans to step up and help this young family? Is that what you're saying? Or are you just saying it's important to shame them?


CFS is a last resort. CFS traumatizes children, and tears families apart. Foster care is often a nightmare, and one truly has to consider if 'the cure' is worse than the sickness.
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:45 PM
 
583 posts, read 237,340 times
Reputation: 2397
Unless you think the kids are in danger, I'd stay out of it. If I were your daughter I wouldn't offer free babysitting services either. That's a surefire way to get taken advantage of.
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,101 posts, read 1,649,031 times
Reputation: 4128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
This is my next door neighbor, and with our small lots and the way the front door faces, it's hard not to notice. Every afternoon, a van pulls up, a woman and the two kids get out. She walks them up to the front door, unlocks it for them, they go inside, she locks the door, gets in her van and leaves. Two hours later, both parents get home.

I'm not a nosy neighbor, and the last thing I want to do is make the neighbors uncomfortable or cause any difficulties for them. I just feel like the kids are too young to be home alone.
How will you feel about not causing any difficulties for them when there is a fire and the children die in the house?
Call either the police for a welfare check or children's services. This is SO wrong on so many points.
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:54 PM
 
Location: planet earth
2,198 posts, read 773,014 times
Reputation: 5069
These ages are much too young to be left alone.

I would approach the neighbor and say that you have noticed her kids are left alone and that your daughter would love to babysit them and see what the parents say. If they give you any guff, call CPS. It might be uncomfortable, but sometimes you have to do the "right" thing even though it is uncomfortable.

They could start a fire - who knows what might happen . . .
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:54 PM
 
3,550 posts, read 1,194,628 times
Reputation: 8313
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItIsWritten. View Post
We've been in this situation already ourselves, no biggie. We found out the kids of that age were spending much of the 2 hrs a day talking to someone on the telephone and watching a movie. Sometimes they'd come over to our house, but often I visited them. No biggie.

Just relax.


Go over and visit. See what's happening. Become part of the kids life. Neighbors need to be active in their neighborhood anyhow.

This drama is unnecessary. Cops don't need to be called as of yet. We don't have the facts YET. Just go over there. Daughter, you, whoever. Just go visit them

Fine, go over and visit when the parents are home. But it's not cool just to go over and invite yourself into their home, and hang out with the kids without the parent's permission.


And I don't think I'm being dramatic. I do think you're going to freak the parents out though, just being in their house, without their permission. Assuming you get past the locked door.
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Old 05-15-2018, 01:12 PM
 
Location: The analog world
14,664 posts, read 8,299,980 times
Reputation: 19769
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I'd call CPS.

This is beyond negligent.
I'm usually hands-off when it comes to the way other people raise their children, but if these kids really are pre-school age (kindergarteners are typically six-years-old), I agree with stan4. Kids that age are not capable of looking after themselves.
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Old 05-15-2018, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,233 posts, read 97,370,602 times
Reputation: 30694
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItIsWritten. View Post
We've been in this situation already ourselves, no biggie. We found out the kids of that age were spending much of the 2 hrs a day talking to someone on the telephone and watching a movie. Sometimes they'd come over to our house, but often I visited them. No biggie.

Just relax.


Go over and visit. See what's happening. Become part of the kids life. Neighbors need to be active in their neighborhood anyhow.

This drama is unnecessary. Cops don't need to be called as of yet. We don't have the facts YET. Just go over there. Daughter, you, whoever. Just go visit them
I really find that hard to believe. I've worked with kids for forever. 4 and 5 year old kids are simply too young to be talking on the phone; they probably can't even call a number, even with speed dial. And these kids have not reached any "age of reason" yet to be able to problem-solve should something come up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklesNShine View Post
Unless you think the kids are in danger, I'd stay out of it. If I were your daughter I wouldn't offer free babysitting services either. That's a surefire way to get taken advantage of.
What could possibly go wrong with a four and five year old home alone, locked in the house? /s
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Old 05-15-2018, 01:44 PM
 
583 posts, read 237,340 times
Reputation: 2397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
I really find that hard to believe. I've worked with kids for forever. 4 and 5 year old kids are simply too young to be talking on the phone; they probably can't even call a number, even with speed dial. And these kids have not reached any "age of reason" yet to be able to problem-solve should something come up.



What could possibly go wrong with a four and five year old home alone, locked in the house? /s
Then place a call to CPS and be done with it. I wouldn't get personally involved.

OP, my thing is this: Do you really want to take on the burden and responsibility for two small children indefinitely? What happens if your daughter offers to baby-sit and can't make it one day? Since the parents don't care about the kids being left alone, is that going to leave her scrambling to find a replacement? If both parents are working, then what's prevented them from finding a sitter from the get-go? I understand being concerned for the children's safety, but inserting yourself into a dysfunctional situation is going to cause more headaches than it's worth.

Last edited by SparklesNShine; 05-15-2018 at 02:05 PM..
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Old 05-15-2018, 02:56 PM
 
4,984 posts, read 6,086,889 times
Reputation: 7525
It is neglect, plain and simple. I would report it to CPS.
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