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Old 05-14-2018, 05:54 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,860 posts, read 18,883,731 times
Reputation: 25110

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My neighbor has someone pick up his 4 and 5 year olds from school and drop them off at home at 3pm, where they're alone until the parents get home at 5. He hasn't said anything about it, but it's obvious to me, and I'm sure other neighbors have noticed. Our state doesn't have an official age at which kids can stay home alone, but people do get in trouble for leaving little kids home alone.

I have a 16 year old daughter who would be happy to watch the little girls and doesn't care at all if she gets paid to watch them. I just can't figure out how to approach the neighbor about it. I don't want him to think it's creepy that I've noticed, or if I should just ignore it or tell him at the very least that I'm home if the kids have an emergency.

What should I do? Mind my own business because the school year is almost over, or say something?
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Old 05-14-2018, 06:06 PM
 
1,765 posts, read 867,558 times
Reputation: 3765
This is a mind your own business one in my opinion.

Why are you paying attention to what the neighbor is doing with their kids? You have no clue what the arrangement is.

If you are determined to intervene try this: "My daughter Suzie Q is having the toughest time finding baby sitting jobs this year, Know anyone who is looking for a babysitter?"

If the neighbor doesn't bite, MYOB.
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Old 05-14-2018, 06:09 PM
 
12,913 posts, read 19,787,452 times
Reputation: 33915
I'd honestly be shocked to learn it isn't illegal in any state. But, legal or not, I do think you have an obligation to do something, for the sake of the girls as well as your own peace of mind. And, I understand it may be uncomfortable for you.

I would let the neighbor know people have noticed, and you'd hate to have somebody take actions that may lead to the courts. Have your daughter accompany you and offer her (paid) services. She shouldn't have to work for free, nor should you have to handle emergencies due to negligent parenting. Good luck.
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Old 05-14-2018, 06:18 PM
 
8,541 posts, read 5,262,232 times
Reputation: 9100
How is your relationship with this neighbor? Maybe you could say that your daughter needs babysitting hours for a class (???) and if they ever need someone to watch the kids, she’d be really happy to do it. IT might be a be a way to open the door to the idea without saying that you noticed that the kids are alone. They probably will be grateful for the help.
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Old 05-14-2018, 06:25 PM
 
371 posts, read 157,761 times
Reputation: 635
don't ask just send her over with some cookies. She can just play with them for a while until the parents come home. She can continue to keep visiting. If they don't like it, they'll make arrangements otherwise.


That's how I'd handle it. These kids need to be checked on anyhow, they are too young to be left at home.
Just do it, don't make a big deal about it. Blessings to you for caring.
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:03 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,860 posts, read 18,883,731 times
Reputation: 25110
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
This is a mind your own business one in my opinion.

Why are you paying attention to what the neighbor is doing with their kids? You have no clue what the arrangement is.

If you are determined to intervene try this: "My daughter Suzie Q is having the toughest time finding baby sitting jobs this year, Know anyone who is looking for a babysitter?"

If the neighbor doesn't bite, MYOB.
This is my next door neighbor, and with our small lots and the way the front door faces, it's hard not to notice. Every afternoon, a van pulls up, a woman and the two kids get out. She walks them up to the front door, unlocks it for them, they go inside, she locks the door, gets in her van and leaves. Two hours later, both parents get home.

I'm not a nosy neighbor, and the last thing I want to do is make the neighbors uncomfortable or cause any difficulties for them. I just feel like the kids are too young to be home alone.
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:23 PM
 
126 posts, read 64,178 times
Reputation: 217
That's sad. Is he leaving them alone because he has to go to work?
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:24 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,664 posts, read 64,140,481 times
Reputation: 68447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
This is my next door neighbor, and with our small lots and the way the front door faces, it's hard not to notice. Every afternoon, a van pulls up, a woman and the two kids get out. She walks them up to the front door, unlocks it for them, they go inside, she locks the door, gets in her van and leaves. Two hours later, both parents get home.

I'm not a nosy neighbor, and the last thing I want to do is make the neighbors uncomfortable or cause any difficulties for them. I just feel like the kids are too young to be home alone.
I bet the kids have been instructed not to open the door for anyone. Your daughter and her cookies may not gain entry.
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
18,975 posts, read 10,040,378 times
Reputation: 27746
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItIsWritten. View Post
don't ask just send her over with some cookies. She can just play with them for a while until the parents come home. She can continue to keep visiting. If they don't like it, they'll make arrangements otherwise.


That's how I'd handle it. These kids need to be checked on anyhow, they are too young to be left at home.
Just do it, don't make a big deal about it. Blessings to you for caring.
No, absolutely not. At the very least, presumably the mom has told them not to open the door to anyone and my guess is they probably wouldn't even know who the 16 year old is, so they may have also gotten a general message over time to not accept food from anyone they don't know.

Don't get me wrong, of course I do not think the OP or her daughter have any nefarious intent. But these children don't know that.

OP, are you 100% sure no one is home - maybe a grandparent or another family member who doesn't drive so can't pick up the kids, but is home with them? If you are sure, then I'd go ahead and say something. What if god forbid, there was an emergency? And even assuming non-worst case scenarios, if you've noticed, chances are someone else has too, and if this mom gets reported to child protective services, she could lose her kids. Even when there isn't a law in place giving a specific age, no one is going to say that it's ok to leave kids that age home alone.
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,203 posts, read 49,753,916 times
Reputation: 66975
I'd call CPS.

This is beyond negligent.
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