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You've had a lot of constructive answers. Most of them involve talking this over with your mom. I'm guessing you aren't looking for advice you are simply looking to vent. Or maybe you simply want people to say "Yeah, you are completely right!"
I bet if you talk to your mom about this - you are going to realize how silly you sound.
And for the sake of your non-existent children - please don't have any. We don't need more poorly parented kids on this planet.
According to another post, OP does have kids. A 2 y.o. and 4 y.o.
That was most unfortunate for you and your child. However, I trust that while your child was in therapy* the rest of society was allowed to continue living their lives?
While this might sound overly simplistic and maybe even a tad callous ...one needs to confront their fears and not expect the rest of society to kowtow to one's personal phobias, whatever they might be. And, it's THIS that appears to be the case with the OP's particular issue.
* YEARS of therapy? And you still stuck with the same therapist?
I never expected society to change a thing they did. You are making assumptions. I wouldn't be that mother at the party expecting the dogs to be put in the house.
My point is, getting over a fear isn't an easy task. It's not just 'face your fears' and get over it, that is overly simplistic.
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I think the biggest thing here, that people are completely overlooking, is the rights of the hostess.
This has nothing to do with whether the rights of the parents of the child supersede the rights of the dog owners, or whether children with phobias should be forced to face them at a party.
It's just so simple. The party host gets to set the tone and make the rules. The host here has decided that when this child with a phobia is there, the dogs of the other guests need to be kept inside the house.
If you don't like that rule, don't come to the party. Easy peasy. And certainly don't make comments that you don't want the spoiled brat with the phobia to touch your child's toys.
I think the biggest thing here, that people are completely overlooking, is the rights of the hostess.
OP acknowledges that.
What I think really bothers OP is that the kid doesn't fit her definition of what a kid with a phobia should look like. Meaning, the kid is otherwise bold and confident, and ill mannered to boot.
I've known enough people with one major hangup or another to know that you can't tell looking at them.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV
OP acknowledges that.
What I think really bothers OP is that the kid doesn't fit her definition of what a kid with a phobia should look like. Meaning, the kid is otherwise bold and confident, and ill mannered to boot.
I've known enough people with one major hangup or another to know that you can't tell looking at them.
What I'm saying is, whether the OP likes the kid or not, whatever, there is no discussion.
This is the choice of the hostess.
If the hostess says we're not having any alcohol in my home, or that every person has to wear a birthday hat while they're here, that's how it goes. You decide whether or not to attend.
It doesn't matter what the behavior of the child is like, or whether her dog is the best behaved dog in the world.
A while back, we had a similar drama that unfolded with family who think their pets are kids and travel everywhere with them, and my kids who one is afraid of large dogs. (another is allergic to cats, but nobody really travels with their cat) I love dogs, I've owned plenty and will own one again in the future (none right now)...
But in my house my kids are #1 so we have a no dog rule on the property. For the most part everyone was OK with it, but once in a while during a family party someone will show up with a dog on a leash and be asked to put the dog in the car.
Our dog is a lovable yellow lab who enjoys being outside with us. I understand the fear or dogs but I'm a bit irritated that these folks continue to show up thinking that we'll just put the dog away.
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Anyone else been in a situation like this from either side? I could see if my dog was terrible and jumping on people but he isn't like that. I also would feel kind of embarrassed if I was the parents here continuously showing up to something where they had to have these special accommodations of no one being allowed to have a dog in sight.
One of my sons, who is on the autistic spectrum, used to be that way. We never asked that dogs be put away. While even now, at 20, he doesn't go out of his way to pet dogs, he tolerates them.
But are you sure that yellow lab is gentle? They tend to be ferocious and unmanageable. Especially their tails.
Would you please explain in plain English WHY a 6 year-old's needs come before an adult? Or, is this simply regurgitated rhetoric? I personally get so sick of society's attitude that the whole world has to revolve around the needs of children to the exclusion of the needs of adults. Children are only a few years shy of becoming adults themselves after which society, generally speaking, will not give a damn about them either.
Because, Romulus, the strong are supposed to protect the weak.
That's why so many people dislike these able-bodied but lazy dog owners--like the OP--who get all huffy at the idea that they should be bothered to lift a finger so their dog doesn't knock over an old lady, toddler, **** on a family picnic, chase a playing child, etc.
Another poster said "The sweetest dog will chase a screaming child."
That's not true. Even the most vicious dog can be trained to heel to its master. The problem is, most dog owners can't be a--ed to bother with obedience training of any kind, and their dogs don't respect them as master. I can't count the number of men and women I've seen in parks and public spaces shouting commands at their unheeding dog.
I trained my German Shepherd to heel, and she would not leave my side--for squirrel, rabbit, or other dog--while under voice control. Even so, I'd never take her off the farm to a park or public place or private party because I'm not a self-centered a-hole "dog person".
'But in my house my kids are #1 so we have a no dog rule on the property. For the most part everyone was OK with it, but once in a while during a family party someone will show up with a dog on a leash and be asked to put the dog in the car. '
So if someone were to show up to your house with a dog, sure those are your rules, it's your house and your kid who is afraid of dogs. I'm not sure why people dont ASK can i bring my dog when they are visiting someone else. That is certainly not something i do.
But if someone brings their scared kid to a place and there is a dog there I feel it's their issue to deal with.
I'll also add i purposefully opened the door a few times for dog to escape and run into the yard.
There were many times others opened the door and dog got out...no idea if they did it on purpose
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Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-30-2018 at 09:33 AM..
Reason: this will create a hijack of your own thread
Kid needs to get over the dog fear. Her lazy parents aren't doing a thing.
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