Appropriatness in the home (infant, toddler, appropriate, clothes)

[austinsmom]

Our son bathed and showered with both of us until he was around 4 or 5. I didn't feel comfortable anymore b/c he started questioning my anatomy. He is an only child but up until recently he and his friends would take baths together (all parents being aware of this). He is 8 and we just feel like in this day and age, it needed to stop. It would be great if they were kids longer but they are not.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

I showered with my son until he was 2. Then I was largely pregnant with my daughter, and then I was bleeding after the delivery, etc... and by that time, a shower was my luxurious time away from the kids, LOL.

My daughter is almost 5 and she will occasionally come in at the end of my shower so I can wash her up, if she's dirty and I don't have time to give her a bath, like if we have evening plans or something.

I bathed the kids together until they were 5 and 3 regularly, and then occasionally for maybe a year after that... now they're too big, at 7 and nearly 5.

Aside from showering, though, I'm not concerned about either of the kids seeing me naked occasionally, if I go from the bathroom to the bedroom to get dressed after my shower or whatever. My husband, however, is more modest. I don't think it's a big deal either way, as long as all are comfortable with the arrangement.

[5FLgirls]

I have four girls and they bathe with my husband -- not all the time (they can't all fit in the shower together). He usually goes in when we want them to have a really good scrubbing. The positive is that the girls know the difference in male and female anatomy. I actually had a preschool teacher tell me that my daughter was the only child in her class that knew the correct term for penis (she told me this as a compliment). We've only had two incidents that we've had to discuss. When my daughter was about 18 mo, she yanked my husband. And another time, my daughter used my husband's anatomy to collect running water in the shower! All in all, I think there will come a time when modesty takes over. My six yo already shows signs of not wanting to get changed in front of us, etc.

[findinghope]

i keep reading people saying that when they are in a hurry they take showers with the kids etc. how long is it taking you to bathe your child?
i guess i am just not comfortable with this idea. i give my son his daily bath and it takes all of 5 minutes--scrub hair and body, rinse, and while the water is going down the drain he plays--the end.
i would think it takes longer if you are both in there...
i remember being very uncomfortable seeing my mother in her undergarments, and i cant even imagine having to bathe with my father!

[5FLgirls]

Originally Posted by findinghope

i keep reading people saying that when they are in a hurry they take showers with the kids etc. how long is it taking you to bathe your child?
i guess i am just not comfortable with this idea. i give my son his daily bath and it takes all of 5 minutes--scrub hair and body, rinse, and while the water is going down the drain he plays--the end.
i would think it takes longer if you are both in there...
i remember being very uncomfortable seeing my mother in her undergarments, and i cant even imagine having to bathe with my father!

In response: Did you notice that I personally mentioned 4 kids? Hmm, that's five minutes per child but what about the time taking them out of the tub, drying them off, getting them dressed, then starting over again. Bathing them and everything else it entails actually takes about 15 minutes per child which takes me about an hour individually--a little less when I double them up but still takes a lot of time. Being embarrassed about the human body is not something I want for my children. I don't want them to be exhibitionists but I don't want them to feel the least bit of shame or uncomfortableness with themselves or others.

[findinghope]

Originally Posted by 5FLgirls

In response: Did you notice that I personally mentioned 4 kids? Hmm, that's five minutes per child but what about the time taking them out of the tub, drying them off, getting them dressed, then starting over again. Bathing them and everything else it entails actually takes about 15 minutes per child which takes me about an hour individually--a little less when I double them up but still takes a lot of time. Being embarrassed about the human body is not something I want for my children. I don't want them to be exhibitionists but I don't want them to feel the least bit of shame or uncomfortableness with themselves or others.

yes but the part that got me was the part about your little girls seeing their dad naked!
i just dont want that vision in my head and if i had a little girl i would not want that vision in her head.
call me prude, but learning about the human body is one thing and seeing a male organ is another.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

Having a problem with nakedness is an American thing, I think. It's just cultural... there's really nothing taboo or terrible about a 5 year old girl seeing her dad naked in passing. If someone is uncomfortable with it, then it should not be done in that household... but really, these are just cultural "rules", not absolutes. We recently had houseguests from Germany who changed out of their bathing suits right on the beach! And many Europeans go topless on Miami Beach. What's the difference, really?

In my house it is much quicker to stick my 4 year old in the shower with me and wash her up quick than it is to run a bath, wash her, and let her play while the water drains. I personally feel uncomfortable with the idea of my 7 year old son in the shower with me, so we don't do that. And my DH feels uncomfortable being naked in front of my daughter. So he doens't do that. But there's nothing inherently wrong with it, just our own biased feelings.

[findinghope]

Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin

Having a problem with nakedness is an American thing, I think. It's just cultural... there's really nothing taboo or terrible about a 5 year old girl seeing her dad naked in passing. If someone is uncomfortable with it, then it should not be done in that household... but really, these are just cultural "rules", not absolutes. We recently had houseguests from Germany who changed out of their bathing suits right on the beach! And many Europeans go topless on Miami Beach. What's the difference, really?

In my house it is much quicker to stick my 4 year old in the shower with me and wash her up quick than it is to run a bath, wash her, and let her play while the water drains. I personally feel uncomfortable with the idea of my 7 year old son in the shower with me, so we don't do that. And my DH feels uncomfortable being naked in front of my daughter. So he doens't do that. But there's nothing inherently wrong with it, just our own biased feelings.

well i am italian american--so i am european, i have been to europe and still have family there, ad none of them go topless anywhere, they dont bathe with their children etc,,,
to each his own. but it's not for me.

[jenn02674]

My parents are british, moved here two years before I was born and I can definately say that the whole nakedness thing is more of an american cultural thing. My brother and I took bathes together for a long time. We have pictures of us in the bath together and I looked to be at least three years old and he is four years older than me, so that would make him at least seven. I seem to recall seeing my dad naked here and there, so I was old enough to remember but not old enough to be tramatized about it. Certainly not something I dwell on. I can remember my sister taking bathes with my dad at 2 or 3, maybe even older, again I don't dwell on it. If you aren't doing anything wrong, I see nothing wrong with it.

My son will be six in June. While he doesn't shower with me he has on occasion walked into the bathroom while I was on the toilet or showering (and I have a glass shower) and I do not make a big deal of it. Some parents would severly scold them for it and I think that causes worse damage than seeing your parent naked! Now I have explained the concept of privacy to him so he doesn't make a habit of walking in on someone when they are in the bathroom or shower. I don't want him ever thinking there is anything wrong with the human body though.

If it weren't for the whole american factor, I wouldn't have a problem changing out his bathing suit in public (like at a pool or on the beach or on my back deck, etc.). But I know that there are many people out there that would have a huge problem with that.

[djacques]

Originally Posted by findinghope

yes but the part that got me was the part about your little girls seeing their dad naked!
i just dont want that vision in my head and if i had a little girl i would not want that vision in her head.
call me prude, but learning about the human body is one thing and seeing a male organ is another.

If you don't see what the other sex looks like, what kind of "learning" is going on?