Appropriatness in the home (teaching, babies, parents, girls)

[dreameyes]

Do you let your kids shower or bath with the opposite sex parent? Up to what age? Do you let your son and daughter bath together? Again up to what age?
Just some thought. Appreciate any input Thanks.

[Oobie119]

I'll be interested as well to see some of the responses. I'll take a quickie shower with my 2YO daughter (Im mommy), I hold her the whole time, it's very brief only after the beach.

[slove1106]

I would definitely like to see others' answers on this as well. Everyone has a different opinion on what's appropriate and this one gets me wondering too.

I have a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. And once in a while I'll let them since they always make a stink about playin in the bubble bath. As for parent/child, I take my daughter in with me but not my son. I think I stopped that when he was a few years old.

This is a really awkward subject. Mainly because I'm Filipina and even though I've lived my whole life here, I go to the Philippines often. And there, (as you may have seen on TV) there really isn't this whole "nakedness" issue like us here in the US. (And no, I don't mean they go running around naked outside lol) Children bath together there all the time. (Mostly due to being poor, saving water, or just plain wanting to play with their siblings) They don't see it an issue there. But here, it's more awkward.

[regarese]

My daughter is 2. She hates being in the shower (the spraying water freaks her out), so I (mommy) rarely take her in with me-only if we're in a rush. She is in our bedroom/bathroom a lot though while we are getting ready, so she does see her father naked. I think I'm ok with this for about another year or so or until she becomes uncomfortable with it. I remember being little and HATING showering with my mother or being nude in front of her or seeing her nude in front of me. I'm interested to see others opinions on this as well.

[findinghope]

i had never heard of this until i heard someone say it on a talk show. my parents never bathed with us, so it never occured to me.
my brother and i (female) used to bathe togethr until i was about 7or8 and he was 3 or 4.
i have a 2 yr old and have never bathed with him. i do sometimes have to bath in front of him since he wont let me in the bathroom alone if no one else is home to watch him.
but when his father bathes we lock the door.

[lolagranola]

H and I would shower with kids until they were between 3 and 4. My kids bathed together until my daughter was between 5 and 6, she is almost 4 yrs older than her brother. My kids could run around naked, they stopped about the time they started school-much older than kids where I live now...if a neighbor's two year old removes a diaper they act like it is scandalous!

[mari4him]

My children are 4 years apart so never bathed together. My son and my step-daughter (from my previous marriage i.e. my ex-husband's daughter) however were closer in age (1 year) and never bathed together either unless it was just for fun bubble bath and both had on swimsuits at the time. I began very early with privacy for them.

As for parents in the shower with the child... both myself and my ex-husband at times went in the shower with each of the kids... gender combo irrelevant... because it was easier than trying to kneel next to the bathtub while water got everywhere. But whenever either of us did, regardless of gender of the child being bathed/showered, we wore our swimsuits.

I don't criticize anyone who does differently, this was just the preference in the home and a way of not raising curiousity of other gender's body parts before an age that could be understood as well as the start of teaching modesty and respect for privacy for later on. This worked well for my kids/family.

By around 5/6 they were able to bathe themselves though I'd be in the bathroom saying... okay under your arms now or make sure you wash well between your legs type thing. This went on until about age 8 or so which by then they fully knew how to wash themselves without supervision, though after shower I'd always ask did you wash well here there everywhere... lol.

[RoaminRed]

I believe it's okay until the point that the child begins to notice the differences and to be curious. My recollection is that with my kids that was about three or four maybe. At that point, I think that bathing should be introduced as a private thing, and that education regarding the differences between boys and girls should begin. Always it should be presented in a very open and matter-of-fact fashion, and without showing embarrassment.

I'm also a firm believer in the idea that if a child is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get a straightforward and complete answer (tailored of course to their comprehension).

[movingtohouston]

Originally Posted by RoaminRed

I believe it's okay until the point that the child begins to notice the differences and to be curious. My recollection is that with my kids that was about three or four maybe. At that point, I think that bathing should be introduced as a private thing, and that education regarding the differences between boys and girls should begin. Always it should be presented in a very open and matter-of-fact fashion, and without showing embarrassment.

I'm also a firm believer in the idea that if a child is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get a straightforward and complete answer (tailored of course to their comprehension).

That is how it is in our home. I have three boys and I stopped bathing with them when they were about 3 or 4. As soon as they pointed to my chest and asked what those were I was done.

[karen_s]

In our home, anyone can bathe together if they want to. The children will let you know if they are comfortable with the situation and will request privacy when they need it.

I nurse until my children self-wean, so they don't notice anything except the fact that my breasts feed babies. My 6 year old son is very matter-of-fact about that. He still likes to bathe with his little sister sometimes. He'll let me know, just as his older brother did, when he wants privacy in the bath.