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Old 06-02-2018, 10:04 PM
 
371 posts, read 158,371 times
Reputation: 635

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Namogel View Post
This can't be normal can it? Has anyone seen a situation like this?

I just found out today that my brother and his wife are pregnant with their second kid...they just hit the 12 week mark and the baby will be due early December. They have another kid who is 3. My wife and I have a son that is 15 months and are also expecting a second baby around early December.

My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law.

Needless to say my wife is not only pissed they are having a second kid at all, but also that he/she will be born around the same time as our second one. She had a cute idea to announce to my family on father's day, but now she just wants me to text them or call them...not even tell them in person ! (They live 15 minutes away). She thinks now that our second kid will be irrelevant beause my brother's second kid will be the hot topic of the year from my parents' perspective.

So I ask - this isn't normal is it? Has anyone else had any family drama where kids from the same general family are born around the week? I try to tell her "just focus on our two kids", but I have the feeling I'm going to be the target of her envy and disappointment for a long time...as if I can control when other people decide to have babies.
My sister had her son 6 weeks after ours. They are close friends. It was a wonderful relationship they experienced and still do as adults.

No I don't think this is normal. My parents always favored my sister over me but the fact that I loved my son, and he'd have a playmate/cousin his own age, made me elated. Also this insistance your parents can only see your son every two weeks is something you are complicit with? They have the right to see their grandchild when they choose to. Don't help your wife commit crimes against your own parents. You and your son go visit. Sounds like leaving your wife home much of the time is a better solution anyway. Wear a condom for now on, something is very wrong in your relationship.


Good luck, I wish you the best. And congratulations!
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Old 06-03-2018, 12:12 AM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,013 posts, read 1,783,877 times
Reputation: 13821
My twin girls were born 5 days before my sisterís youngest daughter. My parents got 3 granddaughters in 5 days!

My parents were so excited & so were we; it was awesome. Your wife is really insecure.
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Old 06-03-2018, 12:34 AM
 
Location: Sweet Home...CHICAGO
3,315 posts, read 3,765,049 times
Reputation: 3944
Your wife is a narcissist. It's hard for people like this to get help because they can't or recognize they have personality disorder.
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Old 06-03-2018, 12:39 AM
 
Location: San Diego
979 posts, read 331,893 times
Reputation: 2193
Quote:
Originally Posted by Namogel View Post
This can't be normal can it? Has anyone seen a situation like this?

I just found out today that my brother and his wife are pregnant with their second kid...they just hit the 12 week mark and the baby will be due early December. They have another kid who is 3. My wife and I have a son that is 15 months and are also expecting a second baby around early December.

My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law.

Needless to say my wife is not only pissed they are having a second kid at all, but also that he/she will be born around the same time as our second one. She had a cute idea to announce to my family on father's day, but now she just wants me to text them or call them...not even tell them in person ! (They live 15 minutes away). She thinks now that our second kid will be irrelevant beause my brother's second kid will be the hot topic of the year from my parents' perspective.

So I ask - this isn't normal is it? Has anyone else had any family drama where kids from the same general family are born around the week? I try to tell her "just focus on our two kids", but I have the feeling I'm going to be the target of her envy and disappointment for a long time...as if I can control when other people decide to have babies.
Your wife should be happy that she is having a kid at all. Be grateful. But she wont cuz she is so hatefilled.
Good luck with your Damien spawn.
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Old 06-03-2018, 01:23 AM
 
16,520 posts, read 17,570,611 times
Reputation: 23616
Your wife needs to see a professional.
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Old 06-03-2018, 05:13 AM
Status: "I cannot wait for the heat to break..." (set 9 days ago)
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,368 posts, read 25,511,818 times
Reputation: 87958
Your wife is not acting like a normal rational adult. Get her some help before she ruins your relationships.
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Old 06-03-2018, 06:11 AM
 
15,833 posts, read 18,470,538 times
Reputation: 25622
Quote:
Originally Posted by Namogel View Post
This can't be normal can it? Has anyone seen a situation like this?

I just found out today that my brother and his wife are pregnant with their second kid...they just hit the 12 week mark and the baby will be due early December. They have another kid who is 3. My wife and I have a son that is 15 months and are also expecting a second baby around early December.

My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law.

Needless to say my wife is not only pissed they are having a second kid at all, but also that he/she will be born around the same time as our second one. She had a cute idea to announce to my family on father's day, but now she just wants me to text them or call them...not even tell them in person ! (They live 15 minutes away). She thinks now that our second kid will be irrelevant beause my brother's second kid will be the hot topic of the year from my parents' perspective.


So I ask - this isn't normal is it? Has anyone else had any family drama where kids from the same general family are born around the week? I try to tell her "just focus on our two kids", but I have the feeling I'm going to be the target of her envy and disappointment for a long time...as if I can control when other people decide to have babies.
No....This is all on your wife. Her attitude is the primary reason for the discord.....and it will remain so unless and until she grows up.

People always gravitate to the one that is easier to love.......Try counseling.....or you will be in for a life time of misery like you are describing.
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Old 06-03-2018, 06:11 AM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,731,699 times
Reputation: 12051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Namogel View Post
I just found out today that my brother and his wife are pregnant with their second kid...they just hit the 12 week mark and the baby will be due early December. They have another kid who is 3. My wife and I have a son that is 15 months and are also expecting a second baby around early December.

Congratulations on the new babies in the family!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Namogel View Post
My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law.

Your parents probably do favor your brother's family. It is only natural to favor those who are nicest to us. I think you might want to step in and allow your parents more access to your child. In order to foster a close relationship with grandparents there needs to be an opportunity to develop a close relationship. If your wife intentionally keeps your parents at bay there will be little chance for a close relationship to develop.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Namogel View Post
Needless to say my wife is not only pissed they are having a second kid at all, but also that he/she will be born around the same time as our second one. She had a cute idea to announce to my family on father's day, but now she just wants me to text them or call them...not even tell them in person ! (They live 15 minutes away). She thinks now that our second kid will be irrelevant beause my brother's second kid will be the hot topic of the year from my parents' perspective.

So I ask - this isn't normal is it? Has anyone else had any family drama where kids from the same general family are born around the week? I try to tell her "just focus on our two kids", but I have the feeling I'm going to be the target of her envy and disappointment for a long time...as if I can control when other people decide to have babies.

Is your wife always so dramatic and negative? This is not normal. In most families new babies are a source of excitement and the more babies, the more excitement. Don't let your wife's problem become everyone's problem. You need to step in and do something.
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Old 06-03-2018, 06:20 AM
 
15,833 posts, read 18,470,538 times
Reputation: 25622
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Congratulations on the new babies in the family!





Your parents probably do favor your brother's family. It is only natural to favor those who are nicest to us. I think you might want to step in and allow your parents more access to your child. In order to foster a close relationship with grandparents there needs to be an opportunity to develop a close relationship. If your wife intentionally keeps your parents at bay there will be little chance for a close relationship to develop.






Is your wife always so dramatic and negative? This is not normal. In most families new babies are a source of excitement and the more babies, the more excitement. Don't let your wife's problem become everyone's problem. You need to step in and do something.
Next time your wife tries to put the the brakes on your parents....pack those babies up,..... they are your children too!!.... in your car and take them to see their grandparents.

Do not accept your wife's irrational behavior........Do not normalize it with a cutesy name.....moratorium???? What you accept you teach.
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Old 06-03-2018, 07:04 AM
 
3,329 posts, read 3,268,288 times
Reputation: 8438
I'm sorry for you. You guys need to go to counseling, so that you can tell your wife in a supportive environment where the therapist will help it not devolve into a fight, that it's hurtful to you for her to limit your parents' relationship with their grandchildren, and only harms you and the children, and your marriage.

For her to see this as her sister in law stealing the show, instead of as an opportunity for cousins to grow up together, says a lot about her personality. Therapy to help her become aware of this may cause her to rein in her jealousy. Also, talk to your parents and ask them to be scrupulously even-handed in their generosity to the grandkids, so as not to give her cause to be jealous.

My MIL has always favored her daughter's children over mine (her son's) children. I have just accepted it, because doing anything else would just make things worse for my kids. Only once did I challenge her, when all the granddaughters were visiting, and she invited the other two to lunch, and excluded mine. After that, she tried to change - didn't make much difference, but at least she tried.
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