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Old 06-02-2018, 04:45 PM
154 posts, read 310,345 times
Reputation: 143


This can't be normal can it? Has anyone seen a situation like this?

I just found out today that my brother and his wife are pregnant with their second kid...they just hit the 12 week mark and the baby will be due early December. They have another kid who is 3. My wife and I have a son that is 15 months and are also expecting a second baby around early December.

My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law.

Needless to say my wife is not only pissed they are having a second kid at all, but also that he/she will be born around the same time as our second one. She had a cute idea to announce to my family on father's day, but now she just wants me to text them or call them...not even tell them in person ! (They live 15 minutes away). She thinks now that our second kid will be irrelevant beause my brother's second kid will be the hot topic of the year from my parents' perspective.

So I ask - this isn't normal is it? Has anyone else had any family drama where kids from the same general family are born around the week? I try to tell her "just focus on our two kids", but I have the feeling I'm going to be the target of her envy and disappointment for a long time...as if I can control when other people decide to have babies.
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Old 06-02-2018, 04:51 PM
2,008 posts, read 1,803,071 times
Reputation: 3337
I think your wife is not normal.
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Old 06-02-2018, 04:52 PM
2,463 posts, read 1,057,569 times
Reputation: 9593
Your wife needs help and if she won’t go, you need to talk to a family therapist on how to deal with your wife’s toxic attitude. This is deeper than just the coincidencental dates of birth.
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Old 06-02-2018, 05:13 PM
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
Reputation: 23714
I think it is normal to feel a little bit like the wind was taken out of your sails when a close family member has an important event very close to yours. I have never felt that way but I have heard it a lot.

But the behavior of your wife and the extent she is taking it...that is way over board.

It isn't like you and your brother secretly planned to get your wives knocked up at the same time to take away her attention.
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Old 06-02-2018, 05:18 PM
5,564 posts, read 7,649,583 times
Reputation: 5830
You’re cool with her putting those limits and acting like that? Why do you allow her to treat your family like that?
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Old 06-02-2018, 05:24 PM
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,408 posts, read 2,003,498 times
Reputation: 3263
Your wife...yeah.

Here's what could happen in a better reality: Your future baby gets a cousin that is like a bonus twin/sibling.

Here's what will happen: Your wife's attitude just poisons everything.

Have fun with that.
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Old 06-02-2018, 05:25 PM
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,581 posts, read 17,678,523 times
Reputation: 40024
Your wife should probably get some counseling.
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Old 06-02-2018, 05:27 PM
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,865 posts, read 18,923,477 times
Reputation: 25123
No, it's not normal.

Due dates are also an estimate and babies aren't born on the exact due date. If either woman has any sort of pregnancy complications, she could end up delivering a couple weeks before the other.

What is your wife's family like? Does she have a toxic relationship with them also, or a sibling she's very competitive with? My sister has always been extremely competitive with me, probably because she's a narcissist, and she can't turn off that urge to be the center of attention and one-up everyone around her constantly. It has strained her relationship with her sister in law, who's not used to dealing with such a judgmental and competitive relative.
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Old 06-02-2018, 05:36 PM
Location: Brackenwood
2,694 posts, read 1,020,093 times
Reputation: 5422
Dude, your wife.... well, I'll just let The Mask say it for me.

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Old 06-02-2018, 05:43 PM
Location: North State (California)
28,451 posts, read 2,213,490 times
Reputation: 9940
Your wife needs help, & why DO you let her put moratoriums on your parents visits?

I have two nephews, (brothers) whos wives had babies two weeks apart, they were delighted, because it meant they could grow up together & go to school together etc.
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