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Old 07-03-2018, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
48 posts, read 24,490 times
Reputation: 95

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Here's my tip: Get some insider info from your boyfriend about them. Find out what they like (just one thing is fine) and do some research on it. If the boy likes Pokémon, read some stuff about Pokémon. You don't need to be an expert, just enough that you can engage him on the topic of something he cares about more than just "So xxxxxx told me you like Pokémon, is that right?" If there's an app one of them likes a lot, download the app and test it out. This is a great way to engage their interests and make them feel like you're talking to them on their level rather than being the normal aloof adult who starts with "So what grade are you in? 5th? Very cool, I loved my 5th grade teacher (enter long pause)".
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Old 07-07-2018, 08:39 PM
 
Location: NJ/NY
10,263 posts, read 9,836,915 times
Reputation: 7257
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrapperL View Post
My situation was the same but I'm a guy and the woman had 3 children-2 girls and 1 boy. When I met the kids, all it turned out to be was a meet and greet kinda thing. Because you already know that their mom is not much of one, you need to stay positive with any comments. Probably best if mom is never the subject of any conversation but if you get cornered, be honest but positive. Always be supportive to them and be there when needed, if they ask for help. You might later on offer to help with their homework from school or a project from school. You'd be surprised that kids know more about adults than adults think. While obviously not Rhodes Scholars, kids aren't dumb, they can see thru a lie. They also can recognize when an adult is trying to help. In my situation, the boy got completely out of control and went to live with his father. He and his mom do not have any kind of relationship. The 2 girls are pretty much mine. Their dad was never around, had no interest in them, so they rely on me for fatherly advice. They both know wherever I am, that's home and all it takes to come back home is a phone call saying they're coming. I didn't have a fall back when I was a kid, my parents died at an early age so that's been more important to me than to them. Just be there for them after you get a relationship going. Don't be critical and certainly never tell a kid that what they are doing is stupid. Just give alternatives and consequences of their actions. They'll usually figure it out on their own. And never say "I told you so". Both of my girls came out reasonably good. One is a highly successful attorney. The youngest just got her Masters in Nursing and is now studying to be an anesthesiologist. I've taught both to be independent and do not count on anybody but themselves. It's worked great so far. So be yourself, be honest, be positive, be supportive, and if they want it, give lots of hugs and love. You'll be just fine.
You have every reason to be proud, but this just needed correcting. You need to have an MD to be an anesthesiologist. Unless she went back to school to become a medical doctor, she is studying to become a nurse anesthetist. This also takes a great deal of work, and as I said, you should be proud.
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Old 07-08-2018, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,727 posts, read 5,036,514 times
Reputation: 17199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
We've recently incorporated a brother and sister, who's close to the ages of the brother and sister you're talking about OP, into our extended family.


I am their new 'grandma' and they call me grandma.

I don't understand how you "incorporated" someone into the family.


I completely disagree with the grandma part. It is insulting to the real grandmothers and kids should learn who is who family wise. It's as bad as using aunt and uncle when the person is not a sibling of a parent.
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Way up high
14,100 posts, read 20,532,493 times
Reputation: 14373
An update: I didn't meet the kids on the 4th. Plans got messed up and it didn't work out. I will update you when it happens though
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Old 02-24-2019, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Way up high
14,100 posts, read 20,532,493 times
Reputation: 14373
Well it finally happened last weekend. I was totally surprised by it. He called and asked to meet up with them at an indoor fun place. We then had lunch and then we went to Dave and Busters.


I think it went pretty well. The son was eyeballing me for a couple of hours but I expected that. He eventually loosened up. The daughter was totally fine with me. The father was very nervous at first but he thought it went pretty good as well and was surprised at how well it went.


We are planning another get together of bowling soon. We'll see how that goes. Officially the father and I have been together a year as of next weekend.
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Old 02-24-2019, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
41,043 posts, read 39,719,537 times
Reputation: 78009
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
Well it finally happened last weekend. I was totally surprised by it. He called and asked to meet up with them at an indoor fun place. We then had lunch and then we went to Dave and Busters.


I think it went pretty well. The son was eyeballing me for a couple of hours but I expected that. He eventually loosened up. The daughter was totally fine with me. The father was very nervous at first but he thought it went pretty good as well and was surprised at how well it went.


We are planning another get together of bowling soon. We'll see how that goes. Officially the father and I have been together a year as of next weekend.
Well, that sounds fun. Glad it worked out.

It's kinda crazy that you were going to meet them but it fell through and it took 7 more months for you to meet them.
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Old 02-24-2019, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Way up high
14,100 posts, read 20,532,493 times
Reputation: 14373
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Well, that sounds fun. Glad it worked out.

It's kinda crazy that you were going to meet them but it fell through and it took 7 more months for you to meet them.
He wanted to be sure this wasn't just a fling to introduce a totally new woman to his kids. I see nothing wrong with it
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Old 02-25-2019, 10:56 PM
 
Location: Texas
608 posts, read 497,550 times
Reputation: 1857
OP, he sounds like a great guy-by thinking about not rushing things with kids. I will never understand how people with children just jump into a marriage and expects to just deal with it.

Good luck!��
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Old Yesterday, 10:18 PM
 
2,774 posts, read 4,021,240 times
Reputation: 6584
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
He wanted to be sure this wasn't just a fling to introduce a totally new woman to his kids. I see nothing wrong with it
Wow. I like him already!

Too many people introduce 'new friends' too early and it really messes the kids up. He sounds like a class act and a great father.
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Old Today, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
41,043 posts, read 39,719,537 times
Reputation: 78009
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
He wanted to be sure this wasn't just a fling to introduce a totally new woman to his kids. I see nothing wrong with it
There's nothing wrong with waiting.

It just seems odd that you were just about to meet them at one point, a point that would have been a reasonable time in the first place, but then it took another 7 months for it to happen.
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