Grad school or SAHM? (daycare, babies, fertility, support)

[shannobanano]

I am 30 and my husband and I are supposed to be doing IVF next month to (hopefully) start a family. I am not currently working. I am thinking about starting a graduate program in education in the fall. I would take a semester or two off after having the baby and then I would resume school part-time, attending classses in the evening while staying home with the baby (or babies, there is a 20-25% chance of twins) during the day. I could wait until kids are in school to start grad school but we might be moving overseas in five years so I need to be done with degree within five years.

Will going to grad school part-time and taking care of a baby(ies) be too hard to juggle? I like the idea of just focusing on being a mother. However, whenever I'm not working I get depressed. This might change once we move to suburbs (next month!!!!!) and I begin to meet people. I find it so hard to motivate myself to be productive. I wonder if this is because I have nothing going on in my life right now--career or kids. On the other hand, I might just be one of those people who needs the structured environment the workforce provides and that my (future) kids would be better off in daycare. Has anyone ever been in a similar position and did it change once you had kids? Should I take care of the career stuff first before starting a family? But I'm old!! So confused!

[findinghope]

well since you are doing IVF, you might want to start your family as soon as you can. as for going to school yes why not go while you are expecting. but be flexible. maybe take online classes if you can. when i was pregnant, i was working and all of a sudden was put on bed rest, so if you have a chance of expecting twins, the same may be in store for you--and having something to do is key.
as for going to school and juggling kids, yes it can be done, and you will want a part time break as long as you find good child care that you can trust--like your spouse, or grandparents.
i wish you luck on your journey!

[twinmma]

Here is my opinion:
I have twins from doing IUI. (I assume you tried that) First, fertility treatments are very stressful...something to consider when thinking about school. Second, pregnancy is very stressful-ESPECIALLY fertility babies, in my opinion. When I found out I was pregnant I quit work and literally laid around for 9 months as multiples are considered high risk (usually 3 or more is high risk, but my DR thought even with twins to take it easy) I think it was the best thing I did...I have two healthy toddlers now.
Also, I had morning sickness from almost day one until about 21 weeks. After that I had other weird things like nose bleeds and LOTS of Dr appts. If you were to have multiples, you go for A LOT more sonos than a regular pregnancy. At 28 weeks I had to go for 2 NST's (non-stress tests) per week until I delivered. so...going to the hospital twice a week was not only stressful but time consuming.
PLUS getting ready for multiples is a feat in itself.
I am SO ABOUT furthering your education and I think it is a great thing, but I think you should wait and see how the IVF plays out first just in case you run onto a multiples pregnancy.
That is just my opinion and by no means am I trying to tell you not to go to school...I just think you may want to hold off. (That being said, you may not get pregnant for some time and putting your life on hold for a chance thing is not good...but waiting one semester isn't going to hold you back much)
Good luck!
edit to say: you will not believe how tired you are in the first and last trimester...if you could just go to schools the second you would be good, lol!

[KristyLiz]

First of all, grad school is much easier than undergrad.

I was determined to have my graduate degree finished before I got married and started a family, but looking back, grad school would have been a great thing to do while being a SAHM.

As long as your husband is supportive of your going to school and what that entails, and you have reliable childcare lined up, it'll be great!

Being a new mom is an adjustment, like anything, but I honestly believe that going to grad at the same time, would give you a nice balance.

Best of luck!