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Look for a Facebook group for the town you're in, and ask if there are any parents with kids his age, preferably at the same school, and invite both of them over. You can meet the other parents while the kids play.
If he's going to be in a middle school, look on the school website for a list of clubs/activities. He doesn't have to be sporty. In my kids' middle school, there are after school clubs for drama, art, Math Counts, Harry Potter, coding, Battle of the Books, ARK (Acts of Random Kindness), Future City, Junior Beta Honor Society, Jazz band, and a few others. He can meet kids with similar interests that way, which is always a good starting point for friendships.
If there's no info on the school website, give them a call and ask.
Outside of school, I'd look into church or Scouts.
Our family just moved to the beach and my 11 year old son will be going to a new school and he doesn't know anyone. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make the new school year the best. I really want him to transition as easily as possible. He is kinda shy and will not just start talking to kids-he is not into competitive sports at all
If he doesn't like competitive sports, there is still the "yearbook club" "chess club" and "photography" or whatever else your school may offer.
I would also make sure you spend a little more making sure he has the "cool" school clothes. as silly and dumb as it is, kids will absolutely judge other kids on what kind of clothes they where .
I would also make some effort to plan 'play dates' or outings with kids he does meet at school. My oldest arranged her own social life in middle school as most seem to do but we also moved when my youngest was entering 6th grade and she knew NO ONE on the first day of school. She has always been an extreme introvert with some anxiety and ADD and never wanted to join anything. I tried to let her navigate on her own to some degree and it didn't work...she needed me to engineer interactions with others.
Make sure to keep up on family time/outings/activities so your child has a good support system.
Are there any summer programs in the area it isn't too late to sign up for?
We are now in the second week of school and I am still trying to encourage him to put himself out there and talk with other kids. The school is amazing and they do have many clubs we will be signing up for, but you have to apply and getting in is limited. We are in our 3rd week so scouts, he does like that. I will also checkout the facebook thing, my mother has it but I don't. I guess I could just use hers to look. Any other suggestions?
Do you have a class list? For my son I emailed all the parents and said we were new, would love to help my son make some friends and asked if we could set up a play date.
Do you have a class list? For my son I emailed all the parents and said we were new, would love to help my son make some friends and asked if we could set up a play date.
Do you think that would be ok, being that he is 11. I might embarass him. Idk. He has 8 classes now, but I do have some parent info
Do you think that would be ok, being that he is 11. I might embarass him. Idk. He has 8 classes now, but I do have some parent info
You know him best. Maybe even have a group of boys over. My son was very shy so he appreciated it. The school counselor also did lunches with new kids.
I was kind of shy too. I think one thing that would've helped me, would've been to know that it takes a bit of time to make new friends. It's normal. He will be "the new kid" and it may take a bit of time. Let him know that THAT is normal. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with him.
I have three sons, ages 14-22, and I agree with this. I would be very wary, OP, about letting YOUR anxiety about his situation bleed over to stress him out.
This is a time in his life when he should be learning how to trust his own judgment and feeling confident about making his own decisions. That definitely should include choosing his own social circle. I had to resist the urge to make things happen FOR my sons. I definitely would not be arranging any play dates. He's not a toddler. He should know that he has your support to ask people to come over if he wants, but at age 11 he doesn't NEED you to set that up.
I also would resist the urge to grill him every afternoon: "Did you make friends? Did anyone talk to you? Did you sit by someone at lunch or eat by yourself? Did you play with anyone at recess?" That kind of stuff stays in the back of a kid's mind and creates anxiety because at that point he KNOWS you have expectations, so in addition to his own nervousness about being a new kid, he feels the natural urge to please you.
He's at school, and he's involved in some activities. That's a great start! Now be patient and let things unfold.
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