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I also tend to think it is an anxiety issue about being alone in a bedroom and maybe she is scared or maybe you need to push her bedtime back to later like 730 or 8 pm and by 6 or 7am she is ready for the day .
I didn't see where the OP said what time they put her to bed. I'm guessing it won't work. It never did with mine. Always "on" at bed time when we were trying to wind down, frequent waking, and early rising. That's just him.
Brother didn't do anything even remotely close to this.
The girl is unstoppable and we're without options.
Nightly. Out of bed. Jumps in brothers bed. Crawls into our room. Multiple bathroom visits. Turning on lights. Spilling water around. The other night she squirted lotion onto the floor while my wife was in the shower.
We've taken away TV and devices, cancelled some of her friends birthday parties, nothing works.
Why are you punishing her???
She is just a little kid. Make sure that the house is safe and that the doors are locked. Put away anything that she can get into. Ask her what she needs to remain asleep all night. Maybe she is bored or afraid or has insomnia. Does she snore? Does she grind her teeth? Is she worried about anything? Is the temperature ok for her
If you think that there is a behavioral issue, discus it with her pediatrician. Maybe keep a diary for a few weeks before the visit so that you can see if there is a pattern.
Also, think about recent life changes and see if you can pinpoin a stressor.
I didn't see where the OP said what time they put her to bed. I'm guessing it won't work. It never did with mine. Always "on" at bed time when we were trying to wind down, frequent waking, and early rising. That's just him.
Sleep hygiene. Avoid screens, movement and music before bed. No lights. No need for daytime naps at this age unless she initiates one.
If this is an out of the blue behavior change.....Get her a medical check up.....and also have her tested for allergies. Heck, get her a medical check up regardless.
Foods, and/or environmental allergies can cause this type behavior. What is her mattress made of? Cotton sheets....pillows?
I used to have to usher my child back into bed repeatedly sometimes for 2 hours. He is allergic to the whole cow. Beef, milk, grains, dust mites....too many to list here.
Once you know she is ok medically than work on behaviorally changing this.
Behavioral changes.....She is getting some sort of pay off, or she would not keep doing this.
Let her give up any afternoon naps....it's time.
Limit sugar.....including artificial sugars.
No liquids, or snacks after dinner.
At least half an hour before bedtime, (a full hour is better)....quiet time....read to them, no TV or anything distracting. Start a ritual, do not deviate from this nightly ritual, she will begin to get into a routine, it helps.
Until this works totally, when she gets up....usher her back to bed, no talking, no arguing....simply walk her back, tell her to stay in bed, then shut her door. keep doing it, it may take hours for a few nights, but it will work.
I would consider a sticker chart, where she can earn a sticker for every night she stays in her room, then after earning X number of stickers (don't make it too hard to attain), she can get a small toy or special outing? You can't make her sleep, but maybe you can encourage her to stay in her room so that it becomes a habit. You can do this along with putting her back to bed if she gets up (but then she won't get a sticker).
If the punishments/negative consequences don't work, try to make a motivation. My kids loved a DAY TO CHOOSE. They got input about what I cooked for dinner, what TV shows to watch (that were ok with me... And not all day) so they didn't argue with a sibling, and any other decisions that day (maybe even buying a special treat at the grocery store). It wasn't like they had total control that day (let's go to Disney)..... I just gave them choices that worked for me. Do you want carrots or salad tonight? Would like to ride your bike or go for a walk after dinner?
I agree with talking to the child to see if she is afraid. A nightlight, flashlight, white noise maker, even a special stuffed animal to cuddle might help.
Good luck!
Last edited by claytonmom; 09-10-2018 at 06:14 AM..
Why don’t she just share a bedroom with her brother? From the beginning when my 2nd oldest was a toddler, my two oldest (2 boys and 2yrs a part) shared a bedroom. Now the oldest has his own room and the two youngest (1 girl, 1 boy 3years apart) share a bedroom.
Ever wonder why there is a huge industry in sleep training (books, sleep trainers, etc)? Perhaps because it is natural for kids to be scared during the night and not want to sleep alone. Some kids have a more vivid imagination, are lighter sleepers, etc.
A 3yr old girl and an 8yr old boy to share a bedroom??? Not the answer! Leave them separate, too big of an age gap. You have the bedroom space and why disturb the 8yr old?
Does she still nap? If so, stop that immediatelys!! What time do you put her to bed? After the naps are stopped also try a litter later of a bed time. Those two combined should leave her exhausted enough to sleep through the night. Taking things away like Birthday parties is not the answer. She’s obviously not tired enough to sleep.
If this is an out of the blue behavior change.....Get her a medical check up.....and also have her tested for allergies. Heck, get her a medical check up regardless.
Foods, and/or environmental allergies can cause this type behavior. What is her mattress made of? Cotton sheets....pillows?
I used to have to usher my child back into bed repeatedly sometimes for 2 hours. He is allergic to the whole cow. Beef, milk, grains, dust mites....too many to list here.
Once you know she is ok medically than work on behaviorally changing this.
Behavioral changes.....She is getting some sort of pay off, or she would not keep doing this.
Let her give up any afternoon naps....it's time.
Limit sugar.....including artificial sugars.
No liquids, or snacks after dinner.
At least half an hour before bedtime, (a full hour is better)....quiet time....read to them, no TV or anything distracting. Start a ritual, do not deviate from this nightly ritual, she will begin to get into a routine, it helps.
Until this works totally, when she gets up....usher her back to bed, no talking, no arguing....simply walk her back, tell her to stay in bed, then shut her door. keep doing it, it may take hours for a few nights, but it will work.
All of this & how much physical exercise is she getting daily? It does not sound like she is tired.
Also having a praise chart with sticker rewards is a good idea.
Brother didn't do anything even remotely close to this.
The girl is unstoppable and we're without options.
Nightly. Out of bed. Jumps in brothers bed. Crawls into our room. Multiple bathroom visits. Turning on lights. Spilling water around. The other night she squirted lotion onto the floor while my wife was in the shower.
We've taken away TV and devices, cancelled some of her friends birthday parties, nothing works.
What time does she go to bed and what time does she get up?
Does she nap?
What does she do during the day?
Does she drink any caffeine?
Does she drink a lot of fluids in the evening?
You say your wife is up showering. Are you two making a lot of noise?
Is she keeping anyone else up?
Is she tired during the day?
Is she on a digital device before bed?
I doubt if you can punish your way out of this. Try to figure out why she can't sleep and see if you can make changes that will help.
Absolutely. If this has been going on a year, the punishments are ineffective.
I forgot to mention that we ran a fan in the kids' rooms at night to block outside noise, and we used audio stories that ran for about a half-hour and then shut off automatically. It kept them interested enough to lie down in bed and listen, and they were usually asleep before the story ended.
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