Guns and Violins (child care, cartoons, prodigy, games)

[L4P12]

My dear sweet step son, 2nd grade, was working on an art project in class. They had to put down their hobbies and their favorite color and other things about themselves. Mind you this is a private catholic school.

He asked the teacher how to spell a word. He has a little bit of a lisp so she couldnt quite understand him. That was clear when he wrote on his little project that he loves "Guns and Violins." Of course we all got excited thinking we would put him in violin lessons. Great - child prodigy.

No, he asked the teacher how to spell "VIOLENCE" Yes the little guy loves Guns and Violence.

I put up an earlier post on here about video games. Now I know as the stepmom I have no say in many things -- especially to the bio mom. But she allows him to play Halo -1, 2 and 3 and many other blood and guts video games. This is pretty much his ONLY after school activity. She is not too hip to drive my step son to any extra cirricular activities, despite my husbands family paying for lessons/uniforms, et. Anyways, last I checked Halo is rated M for mature. Dad is not too happy either..

I know computer/video games CAN be great for child development. I see one of you responded that your child is now a computer programmer and is flourishing college. So cool! But this is a bit different....

Recall if you have read my postings, I am not the well liked step mom (newly married to her ex), she hates my husband and even her own mother gets the silent treatment (recall the restraining order threat on Easter). She is not the happiest person on the planet... yet somehow got remarried in the last month -- marriage #3.

Anywho, love some advice on Guns and Violins!! How to put some positive energy into this?

[hypocore]

Originally Posted by L4P12

My dear sweet step son, 2nd grade, was working on an art project in class. They had to put down their hobbies and their favorite color and other things about themselves. Mind you this is a private catholic school.

He asked the teacher how to spell a word. He has a little bit of a lisp so she couldnt quite understand him. That was clear when he wrote on his little project that he loves "Guns and Violins." Of course we all got excited thinking we would put him in violin lessons. Great - child prodigy.

No, he asked the teacher how to spell "VIOLENCE" Yes the little guy loves Guns and Violence.

I put up an earlier post on here about video games. Now I know as the stepmom I have no say in many things -- especially to the bio mom. But she allows him to play Halo -1, 2 and 3 and many other blood and guts video games. This is pretty much his ONLY after school activity. She is not too hip to drive my step son to any extra cirricular activities, despite my husbands family paying for lessons/uniforms, et. Anyways, last I checked Halo is rated M for mature. Dad is not too happy either..

I know computer/video games CAN be great for child development. I see one of you responded that your child is now a computer programmer and is flourishing college. So cool! But this is a bit different....

Recall if you have read my postings, I am not the well liked step mom (newly married to her ex), she hates my husband and even her own mother gets the silent treatment (recall the restraining order threat on Easter). She is not the happiest person on the planet... yet somehow got remarried in the last month -- marriage #3.

Anywho, love some advice on Guns and Violins!! How to put some positive energy into this?

If I were you and your husband, I'd somehow get ahold of this game and learn about it either by playing it myself or by watching someone else play it. You both can see exactly what's in it and be better prepared to discuss it with him. I have no idea if Halo has parental controls and that can make a huge difference, in my opinion, on what they are actually seeing/playing.

As long as it comes from dad, I see absolutely no problem in establishing different rules for dad's house from mom's house. While you won't stop him from playing it there, you can impede his discussions, actions and what have you while he is with dad and you.

I do this in my house with the children I provide child care for. It doesn't matter what they are allowed to do at home, here they must follow my rules. I do not allow any type of weapon play in my house and would not allow the kids that are not mine to play any video/PC game not rated for them.

Having said that...my kids do indeed play games not rated for them. The key is, they play with supervision, controlled versions and with guidance. Both my younger kids, 5 and 10, completely understand that playing the games is completely different than real life and are made for simple entertainment, not as guidelines on how to behave. They have a firm grasp on reality vs pretend, therefore we don't have much issue with them playing games that are not initially meant for their age.

It's much like movies. There are some movies rated PG13 or R that really aren't an issue for most kids, but the rating is there so you have the opportunity to screen it to decide whether or not it's ok for *your kids.

[musicalzoo]

Halo is not a kids game- I don't think by anyones imagination stretch.

But I don't know what you can do to keep him from playing it, since its at his moms house. Does she KNOW how violent it is? Maybe (grasping at straws) she bought it, but has never watched him play, so she doesn't realize its definitely a teen/adult game...?

[BrianH]

Violent games are OK for kids only if you sit him down and have a long converstation that killing people is bad and this is just a "game" that is not real life etc etc. Of course, there comes a certain point when a violent game is definately not suitable for kids. But you see violence on TV in kids cartoons so its not possible to shelter the kid, as I said, make sure he knows the difference in play and real life. Same goes for guns etc.

[FightinPhils]

Originally Posted by BrianH

But you see violence on TV in kids cartoons so its not possible to shelter the kid, as I said, make sure he knows the difference in play and real life. Same goes for guns etc.

Violence in a cartoon is completely different from violence in a video game like Halo, Grand Theft Auto, etc. The violence in cartoons (think Tom and Jerry, etc) is cartoon violence, not blood and guts and angry agression like many video games today. I'd have no problems with my kids playing a violent video game if the violence was something like Super Mario Bros, with Mario squashing the mushroom guy.....but these games today with blood and gore and gunning people down....is not right and is going to screw kids up in the head. I believe any parent who lets their kids play these games should not even have their children....because it boils down to one of two scenarios...either the parent is lazy and doesn't take the time to monitor what their kids watch and play, or they knowingly let their kids play this garbage....either one makes the parents unfit, in my opinion.

[cpg35223]

I'm not a Bible beater, but I cannot imagine any sane parent allowing their children to play these games. They inure children to violence.

The thing to remember is that kids, even adolescents, often have a very difficult time separating fantasy from reality. An adolescent really doesn't have any experience with grief or pain the way an adult has, so blowing away somebody with a shotgun is nothing more than an abstraction. And the game reinforces this detachment.

So, yeah, these games are evil in my opinion. They are not allowed in my house.

[BrianH]

You can generally turn blood effects and everything like that off though, making it basically the same thing as a cartoon. Just shooting like Bugs Bunny got shot at. Id never let my young son play Grand Theft Auto and games that are similar. Halo, MOHAA and COD4 are shootem ups which are violent but arent as graphic as GTA etc. As I said I do have a line thatll be drawn.

[golfgal]

There have been studies done that show that kids that have healthy outlets like playing cops and robbers and playing with toy guns, etc. actually are LESS violent (or violin) then kids that are denied that outlet. John Stossell did a special on this several years ago.

It is very natural for a 2nd grade boy to be fascinated by guns and violence, however I agree that Halo might not be the best option. A personal observation on this, of all of our nieces and nephews, the only one that tends toward violent tendencies, also a 2nd grader, is the one who's mom makes a HUGE deal out of him playing with toy guns. All of the other boys played with them when they were younger and they have all outgrown that. None of them are the least bit violent, yet the one nephew has been to the principal several times for hitting kids on the playground, he was hitting his cousins at Christmas and has had several other issues. Is it the gun/no gun thing, who knows but it is interesting.

[johnrex62]

Not in any way to be considered evidence or even conclusion, but my son was never denied gun toys growing up and today does not even desire to own or use a gun. My nephew, who was denied any type of gun toy or game, is very into guns and plays much rougher than any of my other nephews ever did.

I believe it has to do with repressed agression, but that is just an uneducated opinion based on real world observation.

I, was also raised with gun toys and even real long guns after I got to middle school age, and was a rambunctious and rough and tumble kid.

I enjoy and understand gun while not being compelled to fire them every chance I get. I do not own a handgun, and do not personnally have a need for one. I have not fired my rifles in a few years, even. But I do enjoy the target practice when I get the opportunity.