U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-24-2018, 02:41 PM
 
2,756 posts, read 1,219,252 times
Reputation: 2099

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
If you give a gift such as concert tickets, to a couple, are you also expected to pay for their babysitter so they can attend the concert? This situation recently came up with some younger friends and I am curious about what other people think.

A college student that I know splurged to give her older brother and his wife (who both have full time jobs) two tickets to a concert that he wanted to attended. Normally she would give a small gift, or a home made gift, to her brother for his birthday but spent at least four times what she would normally spent on his gift to buy two concert tickets. And, while he was (mostly) appreciative of the gift, he informed her that "it was not polite to buy tickets for a night out unless you also include enough money to pay for a babysitter."

Frankly, I had never heard of an etiquette rule like that. So, was she in the wrong or was he just making that up or is this something new or what?

Thank you for any input.

Oops, maybe this should be in Non-romantic relationships instead, but I was wondering what people who needed to pay for baby sitters (parents) thought about this issue.
It comes under cheap and mean etiquettes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-24-2018, 03:44 PM
 
1,398 posts, read 306,456 times
Reputation: 1193
In this era of crowdfunding and destination weddings, no breach of etiquette surprises me anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2018, 06:52 PM
 
1,488 posts, read 334,628 times
Reputation: 1694
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
If you give a gift such as concert tickets, to a couple, are you also expected to pay for their babysitter so they can attend the concert? This situation recently came up with some younger friends and I am curious about what other people think.

A college student that I know splurged to give her older brother and his wife (who both have full time jobs) two tickets to a concert that he wanted to attended. Normally she would give a small gift, or a home made gift, to her brother for his birthday but spent at least four times what she would normally spent on his gift to buy two concert tickets. And, while he was (mostly) appreciative of the gift, he informed her that "it was not polite to buy tickets for a night out unless you also include enough money to pay for a babysitter."

Frankly, I had never heard of an etiquette rule like that. So, was she in the wrong or was he just making that up or is this something new or what?

Thank you for any input.

Oops, maybe this should be in Non-romantic relationships instead, but I was wondering what people who needed to pay for baby sitters (parents) thought about this issue.
Whomever this young man's parents are should cut him out of the will. LOL!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2018, 07:59 PM
 
7,682 posts, read 5,416,852 times
Reputation: 14387
Not just no, Hell no!

Babysitters do not come with gifts
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2018, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
5,284 posts, read 4,573,501 times
Reputation: 13277
Older brother is a tool. If she were in a position to offer to do the babysitting, she could have done that. But maybe she wasn't (didn't live nearby, or something). Maybe older was joking. Either way, that would not be expected as part of the gift.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2018, 09:58 PM
 
6,123 posts, read 3,327,628 times
Reputation: 13010
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
No. But when people give us concert tickets, theater tickets, restaurant gift cards - we just don't use them. We can't. We can't take our kids to those places, they're too young, and it would cost a lot to hire a sitter for three kids.
Well, I certainly hope any gift you can't use gets returned with a thank you and explanation rather than simply wasted.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2018, 07:03 AM
 
2,376 posts, read 3,036,348 times
Reputation: 4641
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
On first read, I agreed with everyone else...he was being a jerk. But then I got to thinking about it...so I'll play devil's advocate.


What if this couple just really don't have money for a babysitter, parking, etc.? I STILL think it was rude to say what he said, but is it/was it thoughtless on the sister's part, to not realize this is a poor couple who can't afford to go out like that?


For example...we have a friend who has offered the use of her time share in Hawaii to us. That's great...but we'd still have to pay for our airline tickets to Hawaii...and whatever incidentals, meals, etc.


Now, this friend didn't GIFT us the time share...she's just offered it to us, if we decide to ever go. But what if she HAD gifted us with the timeshare...but we couldn't use it because of all the other expenses associated with the trip?







See where I'm going with this? Am I being clear? lol
I can answer that what if scenario for you. If he can't get a babysitter or can't afford parking, give the tickets to someone else or ask his sister if she would like to use them because he doesn't have a babysitter. He needs to grow up. He decided to have kids and not being able to do some things you might want to do comes with the territory.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2018, 07:25 AM
 
4,433 posts, read 1,505,099 times
Reputation: 10259
Quote:
Originally Posted by dijkstra View Post
I can answer that what if scenario for you. If he can't get a babysitter or can't afford parking, give the tickets to someone else or ask his sister if she would like to use them because he doesn't have a babysitter. He needs to grow up. He decided to have kids and not being able to do some things you might want to do comes with the territory.

I agree that would've been the nicer and more gracious thing to do.


Like I said, I'm just thinking devil's advocate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2018, 08:57 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,523 posts, read 13,362,525 times
Reputation: 20009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
I think that's an outrageous answer. But we didn't have a sitter when my son was younger and no one to trade off babysitting with. We probably couldn't have used them either. But that's not the problem of the gift giver!

My siblings had children years before I did and if I gave them a gift like this, part of the gift would have been me watching the kids for them.
Well yes and no. It's not the problem of the gift giver, but it's not much of a gift if it can't be used. Poor broke inexperienced college kid might not realize that, but I hope other people who give such gifts would keep those things in mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2018, 09:08 AM
 
2,962 posts, read 2,875,781 times
Reputation: 2839
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
"it was not polite to buy tickets for a night out unless you also include enough money to pay for a babysitter."

Frankly, I had never heard of an etiquette rule like that. So, was she in the wrong or was he just making that up or is this something new or what?
Short answer is there is no such etiquette/rule for something like this.

The slightly longer answer is... it depends how this was broached. A similar situation that I encountered might be a parallel to this one:

Family member gave my wife and I a gift certificate to go out to some fancy restaurant. He had assumed we'd use it on our anniversary. Very thoughtful since is where we tend to go for our anniversary. However, we couldn't get a babysitter. At the time, we had 3 small kids (4,3,1) and they are a handful. Our "trusted" babysitter was flaking out on us. So, I called up the restaurant and they assured me that they'd honor the gift certificate the following year. No big deal for us.

Around the time of our anniversary, my family member inquired about the restaurant. I didn't lie. I just said we couldn't make it work but we were going to utilize it in the future. There was no complaining about not paying for a babysitter. Family member apparently found this unacceptable. Maybe they intended to surprise us at the restaurant with a bottle of champagne or something. I have no idea. But they were pretty upset that we didn't use our gift in the manner that they had intended.

While this situation isn't exactly the same; in theory I could use that gift certificate any day I want to, but it was expected I use it on a certain day. The concert tickets in the OP's example are only good for one day. I've never given or received a gift with an extra $30 or $40 on top to offset the cost of babysitting. When you have kids, that's sort of assumed. If you want to go out without your young children, that's a cost that is simply "baked-in."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top