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Old 10-17-2018, 01:12 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,619 posts, read 13,496,568 times
Reputation: 20302

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Quote:
If someone made that remark about a gift, I would withdrawal the gift and give it to someone else who would appreciate it.
Quote:
Withdraw the gift.
Because withdrawing a gift they can't use anyway will really show them? I fail to see the loss.
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Old 10-17-2018, 07:01 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
73,504 posts, read 65,198,218 times
Reputation: 69769
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Because withdrawing a gift they can't use anyway will really show them? I fail to see the loss.
No, the point isn't to punish them. The point is to salvage a gift that was very costly to the giver, and give it to people who will appreciate and enjoy it. Otherwise, it would be wasted.
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Old 10-17-2018, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,265 posts, read 11,914,703 times
Reputation: 15355
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
If you give a gift such as concert tickets, to a couple, are you also expected to pay for their babysitter so they can attend the concert? This situation recently came up with some younger friends and I am curious about what other people think.

A college student that I know splurged to give her older brother and his wife (who both have full time jobs) two tickets to a concert that he wanted to attended. Normally she would give a small gift, or a home made gift, to her brother for his birthday but spent at least four times what she would normally spent on his gift to buy two concert tickets. And, while he was (mostly) appreciative of the gift, he informed her that "it was not polite to buy tickets for a night out unless you also include enough money to pay for a babysitter."

Frankly, I had never heard of an etiquette rule like that. So, was she in the wrong or was he just making that up or is this something new or what?

Thank you for any input.

Oops, maybe this should be in Non-romantic relationships instead, but I was wondering what people who needed to pay for baby sitters (parents) thought about this issue.
Sounds like a joke to me. I would’ve laughed (or taken the tickets back if he was serious).
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Old 10-17-2018, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,558 posts, read 16,170,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I'm the OP. A few more details. The brother's wife suggested concert tickets, to that specific band on that specific date, as a possible birthday gift for her husband (and the college student younger sister splurged and bought two tickets). The sister lives over 1,000 miles away so she could not babysit for her nephew.

Both her brother and his wife had full time jobs so the sister just assumed that they had enough money for a babysitter or they could ask the wife's parents (who lived 20 minutes away and often babysat for them for free) or a friend to babysit (they often traded babysitting with other couples). After all the wife suggested concert tickets as a possible birthday gift for her husband so why would the sister think that babysitting be a problem?

As I mentioned earlier, I suspect that the brother mentioned paying for a babysitter as a joke, probably via text or email, and the sister thought that he was serious about it. But, I was curious if there were some new etiquette rules that I didn't know about.

Reading all these responses reminds me about the problems of trying to make a joke via text/email that could easily be misconstrued (without seeing body language or hearing the tone of voice).
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Yes, they used the concert tickets and I recall that the wife's parents, who lived very close to the couple kept their grandson overnight (of course, for free) to make it a very romantic, carefree, fun event for the couple. Both the brother and his wife thanked the sister numerous times for the tickets afterward the concert.

However, as I mentioned earlier, the sister never gave her brother another expensive birthday gift again (as she felt that he was ungrateful and inconsiderate to tell her that she needed to add "money for a babysitter" with a gift like that) . Again, I think that he probably was trying to make a joke and it bombed (bombed big time).
OP here.

Man, this thread never seems to die! I asked the question almost a month ago and it was answered extremely well in the first day but it is like the Energizer Bunny that runs on and on and on and on.

Repeating what I wrote earlier, I'm almost 100% sure that the babysitting comment was meant as a joke and the sister did not take it as a joke and felt hurt and unappreciated (as she tries very hard to give excellent, very personal gifts). It is a good reminder to others who make off-hand verbal "jokes" or that things in texts or emails that are meant as jokes could be misinterpreted by others.
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Old 10-18-2018, 06:14 PM
 
Location: WI
2,830 posts, read 3,090,253 times
Reputation: 4848
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
If he can't use it, it isn't much of a gift, so comb for a bald guy?
Do you actually know many people who give the gift of a one time event without knowing if the giftee will have the opportunity to use it? I don't.
Are you being deliberately obtuse? The OP said that the brother's wife specifically asked the sister to buy her husband the gift, on that specific date, for that specific band.
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Old 10-18-2018, 10:46 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,619 posts, read 13,496,568 times
Reputation: 20302
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
Are you being deliberately obtuse? The OP said that the brother's wife specifically asked the sister to buy her husband the gift, on that specific date, for that specific band.
Thank you but no, I understand quite well that in this case the sister did that, but you know, sometimes discussions veer into a more general area. As in "is it ok to give a gift to a person knowing they won't be able to use it".
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Old Today, 05:37 AM
 
Location: USA
1 posts
Reputation: 10
omg, i want tickets for me and my wife [url]https://airsupplytour.com[/url] , give them to us somebody. we will find and pay for the babysitter. on one's own
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