Kids as harassers (child care, deviant, parents, girls)

[crystalblue]

Little kids labelled as sexual harassers - Washington Post - MSNBC.com (broken link)

Do you think its possible for a 6 yr old kid to sexually harass someone?

[max's mama]

Wow. This story just so mind-boggling.

I believe that children should be taught what's appropriate in the early age. Smacking little girl's bottom certainly was not an appropriate behaviour. However, it is the most preposterous thing to "label" it sexual harrasment, since at least TO ME, it is obvious that the boy didn't have anything sexual in mind.

The appropriate way to deal with that would have be talking to the boy and explaining that it's not right to do that to a girl. Scaring the living "hell" out of him by calling police, by putting it on record that will follow him for the rest of his life was way over the line.

[movingtohouston]

We had a problem with a neighbor boy bothering a little girl in our neighborhood. He would constantly try to touch her chest or bottom even after she told him to stop. He also was making highly inappropriate remarks (sexual overtones) to her as well. These were kids ages 8 and 9. I would think that continued comments and actions would constitute sexual harrassment (it would have been called that if the actions had occurred at school)

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by movingtohouston

We had a problem with a neighbor boy bothering a little girl in our neighborhood. He would constantly try to touch her chest or bottom even after she told him to stop. He also was making highly inappropriate remarks (sexual overtones) to her as well. These were kids ages 8 and 9. I would think that continued comments and actions would constitute sexual harrassment (it would have been called that if the actions had occurred at school)

I always wonder if there is some harrassment going on at home when kids act like that.
I do think that there is a world of difference between 6 and 9...By 9, it's possible to already have sexual undertones...

[njkate]

Sexual harrassment @ 6 years old!! that just boggles my mind.....what is happeneing to this world???
My grand daughter who is 12 and her friend gave each other a HUG and were suspended for "public display of affection"

We've gone to far over the top

[KimK]

I think it is entirely possible this behavior does go on at home. I think these things should be taken seriously not necessarily through law enforcement but I think the school should refer these children to some counseling. And, I think most of these parents would object but then they should all go.

I tend to view things in a bigger picture mentality. I worked in a male dominated profession. I started it when few women were in it. Sexual harrassment was the rule of the day. It went on for years with different employers until about 12 years into my profession, I said enough is enough and did something about it. But, here is the upshot of that. The minute I did complain, the answer was "boys will be boys."

Interesting, isn't it? So, if "boys will be boys," I think we better start educating boys so that real men don't do those things to women. Here is our dilemna: we don't take this behavior seriously when they are boys and we don't take it seriously when they are men.

Oh, and the suspending two children from hugging, etc. That is what I call "solving a non-problem." That is actually a jab on the part of the school at what they deem is unnecessary societal intervention in their school. There are many who feel that this sexual harrassment is not worth spending time on but it has been legislated to a certain point so they must act. So, the theory goes as 'I'll show them how ridiculous this is and suspend two little girls for hugging and the outcry will be so great that I won't have to worry about those issues again.' But, I will ignore a real problem over there on the other side of the school because that is a real problem but I (the administrator) am too (inept, unconcerned, lazy, overworked, underpaid-you supply the word here) to do anything about it. Then they can throw up their little hands and say, hey we are just doing what YOU wanted us to do here. We know it ridiculous. It is the same thing as suspending a third grader with a nail file.

There should be a major at college called "Solving the Non-Problem" as there are many retired bureacrats running around today at the country club who could provide real insight on this activity.

I know that many of you feel that sexual harrassment in the work place has been somehow eradicated. Sorry to break it to you, it hasn't.

It is also interesting that people call the police over these things when police themselves are some of the worst harrassers. I should know.

[max's mama]

Interesting, isn't it? So, if "boys will be boys," I think we better start educating boys so that real men don't do those things to women. Here is our dilemna: we don't take this behavior seriously when they are boys and we don't take it seriously when they are men.

I don't think that there is a matter of "boys will be boys" and nobody disputes how serious sexual harrassment is. However, in this case, this was not a sexual harrassment. This was a young child who doesn't know right from wrong and was punished severely for that. It's not like a teacher spent time educating the boy how inappropriate it is. They took matters too far.

I think you made a good point mentioning that police forces also can be part of the problem. I personally know someone who was humiliated and sexually harrassed by an officer.

[FightinPhils]

No I don't think its possible for a 6 year old to do this, at least not by his own will or realizing what he/she is doing. If a 6 year old is doing something sexually inappropriate, there's usually screwball parents behind it. Very likely that the kid was abused by the parents or some other adult.

[hypocore]

While I agree that this particular story doesn't seem to connect with sexual harrassment, I have an experience that does indeed connect.

I was management in a child care center when we began to have some behavior issues with a 4 yr old boy. When he moved into our private Kindergarten his behavior escalated. He fixated on one particular girl, yet also bothered several others as well. He would move right up behind girls with his body rubbing against them until they of course jerked away. He'd get right up in their faces trying to close the distance between their bodies as often as he could. He'd touch the girls as he walked by them in some manner. And he'd lay on the floor rubbing his crotch against the floor.

He was doing all this at home as well, so much so to the point his older (18 yr old) stepsister moved out to feel safe. His other issue was uncontrollable anger and for some reason, I was the only one in the center than could connect to him in a way to calm him down, or get him to stop his behavior the majority of the time.

Now, before anyone says he was learning that at home or his parents were low life parents....listen to what happened next.

He went through extensive testing medically and mentally and when they determined what was going on with him, mom quit her job to stay at home with him and worked diligently to change these issues. She became very well versed in nutitrion and ingredients and began making all sorts of foods at home to keep him on a very strict diet. She also made sure he took certain medications and kept a throrough log of both.

Why? Because he was diagnosed with a vast array of odd allergies that caused severe reactions, including all his 'sexual' behavior. For instance, a particular airborne allergen sent him into a fetal position underneath the table. Another food allergen caused erections. And they diagnosed him as O.D.D., which they also link to allergens.

This boy was always an exceptionally smart kid and had he not had parents who cared and caregivers who worked with him, would have likely been written off as deviant and shunned. However, today he is graduating from a private high school with high marks, great behavior and the ability to control reactions that may be caused by accidental exposure to those allergens he tries to avoid.

So, he did indeed sexually harrass at age 4 and up...until they found the problems.

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by hypocore

While I agree that this particular story doesn't seem to connect with sexual harrassment, I have an experience that does indeed connect.

I was management in a child care center when we began to have some behavior issues with a 4 yr old boy. When he moved into our private Kindergarten his behavior escalated. He fixated on one particular girl, yet also bothered several others as well. He would move right up behind girls with his body rubbing against them until they of course jerked away. He'd get right up in their faces trying to close the distance between their bodies as often as he could. He'd touch the girls as he walked by them in some manner. And he'd lay on the floor rubbing his crotch against the floor.

He was doing all this at home as well, so much so to the point his older (18 yr old) stepsister moved out to feel safe. His other issue was uncontrollable anger and for some reason, I was the only one in the center than could connect to him in a way to calm him down, or get him to stop his behavior the majority of the time.

Now, before anyone says he was learning that at home or his parents were low life parents....listen to what happened next.

He went through extensive testing medically and mentally and when they determined what was going on with him, mom quit her job to stay at home with him and worked diligently to change these issues. She became very well versed in nutitrion and ingredients and began making all sorts of foods at home to keep him on a very strict diet. She also made sure he took certain medications and kept a throrough log of both.

Why? Because he was diagnosed with a vast array of odd allergies that caused severe reactions, including all his 'sexual' behavior. For instance, a particular airborne allergen sent him into a fetal position underneath the table. Another food allergen caused erections. And they diagnosed him as O.D.D., which they also link to allergens.

This boy was always an exceptionally smart kid and had he not had parents who cared and caregivers who worked with him, would have likely been written off as deviant and shunned. However, today he is graduating from a private high school with high marks, great behavior and the ability to control reactions that may be caused by accidental exposure to those allergens he tries to avoid.

So, he did indeed sexually harrass at age 4 and up...until they found the problems.

This is a very interesting story, thanks for sharing. However, this story clearly indicates that the boy had health issues that caused him to be aroused. It was not mental problem, it was physical problem. The boy did not intentionally want to exploit/harrass. girls. In fact many children already masturbate at that age, and perhaps the boy did not know how.
Now, imagine for a second that teachers called police on him and put it in his record, when in fact, this was not his fault?
Good thing he had a caring mother who took the issue seriously.