Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Years ago my friend's son wet the bed well past the age he should have been doing it. They got some kind of pad that would alarm when it was wet. That seemed to do the trick, the alarm would wake him up and he'd go to the bathroom.
I'm not going to read this, but I was going to post. To my knowledge, bedwetting is not usually a physical problem. If there have been or are any ongoing negative events in her daughter's life...hopefully she will read this and get some help.
Laura, I noticed you've responded to many posts, but not mine. I am posting it again because I don't want you to miss it. I went through this exact same thing, and was told the exact same thing by our pediatrician, until I'd had enough when my son was the exact same age as your daughter. I'm a little disturbed at the people here suggesting that it's a power struggle, or implying that she should be punished for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Take her to a specialist. Our local children's hospital has a bed wetting clinic. My son was wet every single night until we finally went when he was about 7, close to 8. They had us buy a sensor that attaches to the underwear. As soon as it gets wet, an alarm wakes him up and he goes to the bathroom. You will be up with her for several nights. Something about waking up when they should be sleeping causes an enzyme to kick in, and they stop having to go over night. I think it took less than a week, and he's only ever been wet at night maybe once since then (7 years).
The boy I know of is "perfectly healthy" too. No one is implying these kids are unhealthy.
He uses a fan at night to even out the sound (give a consistent level of white noise in the room). He would probably be waking up if the fan wasn't on. So, that helps him sleep. Maybe you can try a fan too.
Sorry to hear that you have to change sheets, but if pull-ups helped the bed stay dry, I don't understand why you wouldn't use them. Seems that they would easily be worth the costs, stress she may be facing, and your time and effort hassles and the health-matters with changing sheets.
If the child you know is still bedwetting, maybe a fan isn't the solution.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3
First, limiting liquids is not the answer.
I was a late bloomer so to speak. Kidney dialysis from 4 til 7. Emotional stress.
What deterred the bed wetting was months of non humiliation by family. My grandmother simply kept my bedding dry. My anxiety from doctors exams and months of sensing the dismay really did play a part. I rarely encourage medication in young children...yet they do have a med that helps discipline the kidneys.
I don't know your child or where they are in development stage...as a parent you do have a sense. I can only say that as the kid...it's stressing when not developing this technique aptly.
Limiting liquids IS part of the treatment. See my link.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Does she? Not criticizing. But could you have unwittingly gotten the two of you into a subconscious power struggle? You mention pull ups and say they don't work. What does not work about them?
Laura, I noticed you've responded to many posts, but not mine. I am posting it again because I don't want you to miss it. I went through this exact same thing, and was told the exact same thing by our pediatrician, until I'd had enough when my son was the exact same age as your daughter. I'm a little disturbed at the people here suggesting that it's a power struggle, or implying that she should be punished for it.
Ooops sorry about that, I thought I replied to everyone. I did purchase an alarm that did clip to her undies and the other (speaker) clipped to her pajama top. When it went off she would simply turn it off and go back to bed without making any effort to get up and go to the bathroom. The ONLY time I get upset with her over this is when she refuses to go, or at least try to go potty before bed. Its always the same thing....I don't hafta go mom!!! She had no problem wearing a pull up, she just hated that she still woke up wet when they didn't hold up through the night. She also made no effort to hide the fact that she wore one when we stay over night somewhere like grandma and grandpas house or wherever. No one ever said anything to her about it or made fun of her but she wouldn't go out of her way to hide the fact she was wearing one either. She knows that they are for big kids and doesn't consider them babyish so to her she didn't need to motivate herself to not have to wear them. Does that make sense? I will talk to hubby about taking her to a specialist. He doesn't think this issue is something a dr can fix. He believes that she does it because she isn't motivated enough to stop. Thanks again and I am sorry for missing your post.
Ooops sorry about that, I thought I replied to everyone. I did purchase an alarm that did clip to her undies and the other (speaker) clipped to her pajama top. When it went off she would simply turn it off and go back to bed without making any effort to get up and go to the bathroom. The ONLY time I get upset with her over this is when she refuses to go, or at least try to go potty before bed. Its always the same thing....I don't hafta go mom!!! She had no problem wearing a pull up, she just hated that she still woke up wet when they didn't hold up through the night. She also made no effort to hide the fact that she wore one when we stay over night somewhere like grandma and grandpas house or wherever. No one ever said anything to her about it or made fun of her but she wouldn't go out of her way to hide the fact she was wearing one either. She knows that they are for big kids and doesn't consider them babyish so to her she didn't need to motivate herself to not have to wear them. Does that make sense? I will talk to hubby about taking her to a specialist. He doesn't think this issue is something a dr can fix. He believes that she does it because she isn't motivated enough to stop. Thanks again and I am sorry for missing your post.
Thanks,
Laura
We had bought an alarm, too, but the specialist prescribed a different one that worked. The first one didn't. She's presumably asleep when she pees, so I don't see how motivation could have anything to do with it.
The hard part is getting her to actually do it! lol Her pedi said the same thing, it might be something she is just going to have to outgrow on her own.
Was your son motivated to want to stop? That's the big problem here with my daughter. She doesn't want to put forth the effort to want to stop. I know I am the parent but I would hate to have to "punish" if she doesn't even want to make an attempt to go to the bathroom, like right before bed were most of the time I have to almost beg her to at least sit down and try.
Thanks,
Laura
My view is- given her age-your daughter has no incentive to fix the issue because you have made it your problem not hers. You are waking up in the middle of the night to change sheets, washing laundry daily, trying this diaper and that and all the while; the only one bothered by all the wetting is you.
For that to change, you have to relinquish ownership of the bladder issue back to her. Don’t wake up to change anything and don’t allow her to wake you either. Don’t wake up with her to show her where the dry sheets are- she knows, she’s seen you get them nightly. If her diaper is wet, let her change it- if she’s okay with it being wet, leave it alone. In the morning ask her to bring her sheets to the laundry for you to wash. Let her own the task of taking the soiled bedding off her bed and trashing her diaper. Oh and turn off the attention. She must get a lot (of maybe negative) attention from you because of this and that is incentive for her to keep at it.
At her age your job should be providing her with the tools to deal with the issue (diapers, clean dry sheets, a mackintosh or whatever it’s called here) beyond that, how she deals with what her body does should be 100% her responsibility. If you don’t help her wipe in the bathroom, you shouldn’t help with this either. Let her own it, turn the pressure off, turn the attention off, give her back the responsibility and relegate yourself to one who helps clean the sheets and buys the diapers and nothing else.
If there is no medical reason for this, the work involved and lack of payoff should incentivize her to do something different soon enough and if there is a medical/ physiological issue, letting her take care of her own bodily functions will give her back some control over the situation and will make your life easier as well. It will be hard- but Its doable.
My experience- had to coach some younger kids out of nervous bed wetting as a teen. Long story; but if there is no psychological or medical issue; it can be done.
I agree, some sort of new specialist whether a urologist or bed wetting one
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes
Did your pediatrician give you any advice at all? I really doubt that this is happening because she just doesn't want to get out of bed. Would you consider trying an alarm that goes off when she starts to go?
We used diaper doublers because my son was a very heavy overnight wetter. It kept his diaper from leaking, maybe an insert like that could work with the pullup?
Do you have waterproof pads/sheets? I know a lot of people used to double sheet the bed when their kids were potty training. You put something down to protect the mattress, then the sheet, then another protector and top with another sheet. Then in the morning you can strip off the top 2 to put in the washer and still be ready for the next night. I know it's still work, but it could make the morning less stressful.
I know this is a strain on you, but I don't think she can control this and it's important to not punish or make her feel bad about it.
Great advice. Buy 2 twin mattress waterproof pads. We also use a pretty thick throw blanket I bought at target. He actually sleeps on the throw with the layering underneath him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by laura_thomas123
Yes, she does stay dry during the day other then the occasional accident from waiting till the last possible second go to which only occurs about 1-2 times a month. I get on her about that as well and let her know that she is too old for that and that when she feels the urge to go, she NEEDS to go right then instead of waiting until its too late.
I have used the alarm clock in the past but she will simply ignore it, as the reason I physically wake her up now myself. Mornings are stressful as it is with her but I guess I can try waking her up multiple times during the night. I know it will only be when she doesn't have school the following morning, I might have to start having her take naps again if it starts to affect her school work among other things.
I really just want her to care that she does it that's all. I feel if it bothered her that she does it, it would motivate her to want to try to stop. Does that make sense? Not to sound mean or like a bad mom but its like I am dealing with a 2 year old and not an almost 8 year old given the fact that she isn't the least bit embarrassed by it. I think that bothers me more than the actual wetting itself.
Thanks,
Laura
Believe it or not but she may have a reason she's not sensing she has to pee. This applies to my grandson who's 5. We're dealing with constipation and also tethered spinal cord. He has all sorts of medical issues. He doesn't sense he has to pee until it's almost too late. My daughter wakes up to change his diaper some nights
Does this run in either side of the family? It's also seeming to be more common. I have 2 friends where one's 10 year old daughter was still wetting and another who's 7 year old son was wetting.
Do you have anyone that was double jointed in your family with health issues? Or had "growing pains" in their legs?
Quote:
Originally Posted by laura_thomas123
He sounds a lot like my daughter....sometimes stubborn lol She will do the exact same things with me sheesh! He must of been small like she is. She is a bean pole and can still fit in the pull ups still without them being tight at all. I feel bad for saying this but there are times where I catch myself thinking...why don't I just go back to have her wearing a diaper at night? And then I tell myself that she is almost 8 and dismiss the idea. I feel bad for even thinking it but when I get to the point where nothing seems to work...you know? Please tell me I am not the only one that's considered going back to them. I would never do it as a punishment but more as a tool to help us both out, especially me.
Thanks,
Laura
Go back to a diaper. Walmart sells a case of size 7 now about $15 that holds more then any of the pull ups. Target makes size 7 too but they're snugger. They should fit her because they fit my grandson who's the size of an 8-9 year old
Honestly, I don't think she can stop this and just because one Dr said it's not medical doesn't mean it isn't. I'm sure you'll feel really bad if it turns out to be medical. I'm sure she's humiliated but has resigned herself to whatever happens because she knows she can't control it.
Jeez. This is an 8 year old. Not a 13 year old. Put a waterproof incontinence pad over the sheet. The 99.99% case is they’ll grow out of the problem soon. Why the power struggle thing and all the angst?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
