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Old 10-07-2018, 12:44 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,033 times
Reputation: 15

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My 3 year old grandson and his mother live with us. My grandson is out of control and I'm going crazy. Heaven forbid I should have to go to the bathroom when I'm watching him because I'll come out to find my 4 footstools piled on top of each other on my coffee table and him trying to climb to the top. Or he's angry because he wants to be in the bathroom with you and he's kicking the door to be let in the entire time. If you give him a snack and it's in a wrapper you will find the wrapper on the floor - no matter how many times he's asked to put it in the garbage. And if you don't to what he wants RIGHT NOW he will scream and a pitch a fit until you either want to scream back at him or heaven forbid think about slapping his mouth. Sometimes even though he's acknowledged when he talks to you he repeats himself over and over and over and after you've answered him over and over and over trying to not get annoyed he keeps going. My furniture is being destroyed - I accept that with an active child there will be some dents and scratches, such is life. But when he's purposely destroying my things because I won't give him a piece of candy or a cookie and he's striking out - sometimes he will take a swing at you because he's not getting his way.... Could use some advise before I go nuts....... I'm exhausted.
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:17 PM
 
1,527 posts, read 632,970 times
Reputation: 5072
Unless he has some documented developmental disorder, he sounds like a spoiled brat. Someone has been allowing him to misbehave for about the last two years, so it’s going to be tough getting him civilized.

Have you discussed this with the child’s mother? My suggestion would be that she take her child and live elsewhere if she won’t get him under control.
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:21 PM
 
4,122 posts, read 3,775,802 times
Reputation: 11296
Little that you can do in this situation. They need to move out. You can visit them and be a wonderful grandparent. Or you can have them live with you, and he will destroy your home and drive you into an early grave.
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,878 posts, read 25,302,878 times
Reputation: 26334
Sounds like his actions never have consequences. He is going to be a holy terror!
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,484 posts, read 3,320,770 times
Reputation: 2409
he sounds like a sugar junkie having withdrawls..
how much candy a day how much soda .. junk food? all those things can add up to out of control child .. oh and he is bored to tears .. he needs some hard physical activity.. outside .. running and playing hard .. give him some chores let him dig a "big huge hole" ( to him ) in the yard and find rocks to fill t up with then put the dirt back.. TIRE HIM OUT.. get him a trike or a trampoline anything to burn off the energy
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:41 PM
 
6,744 posts, read 3,851,875 times
Reputation: 15441
He needs consequences for misbehaving. By 3 yo, he could have benefited from a good day care and playing with other children. He needs appropriate socialization before he starts regular school, or he'll have major problems.
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:55 PM
 
16,083 posts, read 17,876,536 times
Reputation: 15867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caballera3 View Post
My 3 year old grandson and his mother live with us. My grandson is out of control and I'm going crazy. Heaven forbid I should have to go to the bathroom when I'm watching him because I'll come out to find my 4 footstools piled on top of each other on my coffee table and him trying to climb to the top. Or he's angry because he wants to be in the bathroom with you and he's kicking the door to be let in the entire time. If you give him a snack and it's in a wrapper you will find the wrapper on the floor - no matter how many times he's asked to put it in the garbage. And if you don't to what he wants RIGHT NOW he will scream and a pitch a fit until you either want to scream back at him or heaven forbid think about slapping his mouth. Sometimes even though he's acknowledged when he talks to you he repeats himself over and over and over and after you've answered him over and over and over trying to not get annoyed he keeps going. My furniture is being destroyed - I accept that with an active child there will be some dents and scratches, such is life. But when he's purposely destroying my things because I won't give him a piece of candy or a cookie and he's striking out - sometimes he will take a swing at you because he's not getting his way.... Could use some advise before I go nuts....... I'm exhausted.
He's 3. He's full of energy. You need to find acceptable ways for him to run that off.

First, climbing can be a good thing, so take him to the park to climb or get a climbing set for your back yard. For inside, set up an obstacle course with cushions or pillows or get a small indoor trampoline for him to jump on. Gate off areas of the house where he is destructive and use those when you need to go to the bathroom or do things he is not allowed to do.

For the tantrums, you need to be firm, but kind. Depending upon what is causing them (attention, etc.), you need to carefully choose your response. Ignoring the tantrum totally often works. Tell him ONCE, I can't hear you when you yell, then move away from him and do something else. Not easy and you have to be consistent, but eventually he will learn that tantrums do not get the results he wants. Be sure to reward him with your full attention when he is being good and asking for things nicely. Sometimes a hug may help even if you don't feel like hugging him. Deep pressure can be helpful. Giving him alternative ideas to take the place of what he wants can also help. Redirect him to some fun activity in the place of what he wants and cannot have. Also, teach him how to handle things when he is calm.

Try these breathing activities as a fun game and then when he is tantruming, you can say "Drain" or "Balloon" and he may start trying to do them.

Ballooning

When you balloon, you breathe in (deeply) and as you breath in you start with your arms at your sides and raise them up parallel to your shoulders and up over your head. Then you blow it all out, make it exaggerated like a balloon spewing out all the air. The kids really like it and it really lowers tension.

Draining

When you drain, you put both hands out in front of you, you twist (and twist, and twist and twist) your hands around like you were turning off water and you make a face, then you blow the air out through your lips (I know... there will be a little spit!) but the kids really like that one and you can feel the stress and tension leaving your own body! (automatic stress relief!)

Also, you may want to try a good preschool for him to give yourself a few hours of relief and to allow the teachers to help with this.
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Old 10-07-2018, 02:07 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,925 posts, read 2,272,349 times
Reputation: 16565
Where are his parents?

It sounds like he has not had any stability & believes he has to “take over”. That’s a lot of stress for a three year old.
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Old 10-07-2018, 02:43 PM
 
6,177 posts, read 2,849,330 times
Reputation: 15649
Healthy snacks rarely have wrappers. Fruits and veg dips. Encourage treats when he is wanting some 'me' time. You might think your giving him attention..yet perhaps a different style of attention is needed.

The environment sets the behavior I found. Somber..quiet ..releases the tension. My grandkids don't have the TV on ..when it's play time. They are free to play with toys or do activities in small increments. (Under whelm them so to speak).

I'm sure his energy can exhaust you...structure /routine may ease this.
And welcome to cd!
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Old 10-07-2018, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
3,007 posts, read 2,167,665 times
Reputation: 6691
Has he been checked out for autism? Or perhaps it is just the terrible three's.

I agree you should be discussing this with his parents.
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