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People get cheated on all the time and still stay with the person even though they know the person is cheating.
I used to get cheated in exclusive relationships and always tried to fix them. I never fixed a single one of them! The woman always cheated again and we broke up. Since then if you cheat you're gone! Let somebody else deal with the lying, cheating women. You can have all my cheaters (general 'you,' not you specifically).
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Originally Posted by Steve McDonald
It's a normal variation of human sexual behavior. Our ancient ancestors were doing this and it may have been an evolutionary advantage, which kept the gene pool more mixed and vigorous. You could no more keep people from having multiple partners, than you could stop the tides from flowing. The problem arises, when monogamy is imposed and enforced by a society that stands in opposition to Mother Nature.
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You have the genetic explanation dead on! Humans are naturally polygamous. I'd like to see your authoritarian source of the statistics I didn't quote.
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Originally Posted by Northern Maine Land Man
Your son is involved with what we used to call "the town pump". That is where people went to get water more than a century ago. OK, you are disinterested in the morals involved. Lots of people today have no morals, but your son is likely to pick up various diseases that could ruin his health long term. Of course, he may already be carrying and spreading these diseases.
Be a good citizen and have your son tested for VD.
I like your story and find the description "town pump!" The term is rather evocative.
Getting tested AFTER is a little bit late.
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Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty
It's all fun and games and none of any parents' business until when and if this girl becomes pregnant.
Source: I've seen this scenario play out multiple times back in my Appalachian hometown (and amongst my lower-income coworkers--present and past.) Usually ends up involving multiple children with multiple partners by the time the young woman hits her thirties. Often, the grandparents end up footing the bill to support this grandchild(ten) or raising their children's offspring themselves. This might not be the case, but it certainly seems like it.
When she gets preggers don't you think that's a bit late.
Your story, that's right out of Trailer Trash-land.
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Originally Posted by Mr. Joshua
He needs to move on. Tell him.
In the end I see no other way. Who wants to have the "town pump" as a GF?
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Originally Posted by LoriNJ
He deserves to know the truth. If he decides to stay with her, then at least he does it with his eyes wide open. As it is now, he is being made a fool of and doesn't even know it. He also needs to get tested for sexually-transmitted infections. Agree with whoever said if she gets pregnant, he should sign nothing until DNA test is done.
I said both of those and I completely agree. They all need testing.
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Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk
Her pregnancy will make it your problem, unless you have the ability to disown and ignore your grandchildren.
And since he doesn't know he may be sharing micro-organisms with another man who may be sharing micro-organisms with who knows how many other women, he deserves to have the same information you have.
Let me say that again, because others have said it in a different way: You have information about him. He deserves to have the same information you have.
He can evaluate that information and act on it as he sees fit. But he deserves to have it.
I look at it that when you sleep with somebody you are effectively sleeping with everybody they have ever slept with. That puts STDs in a different light.
I'll just remind everybody our OP has said she will tell him by Sunday at latest. Let's give her that chance and assume she knows it's important to not chicken out.
Rachelle texted me just now and said that shes gonna break up with my son
That is a good solution, although I feel sorry for the pain your son must endure. Let's hope Rachelle won't mention the sexual performance or your involvement. If she doesn't mention that stuff then consider yourself to have dodged a bullet.
And please, get your son off pot. It causes demotivation and most people don't realize the effect can last for weeks, not just while under the influence. It also gives a false feeling that everything is great, when in fact your life may be going to hell. Use of pot can lead to major depression and the symptoms can last a year or longer even after quitting pot. You cannot solve life's problems by turning to alcohol or pot. They only worsen the problems because they encourage ignoring problems. They call it 'dope' for a good reason.
And make sure your son has a ready supply of condoms, it's worth it even if you pay for them. Consider a STD blood panel.
BTW are you ready to have grandchildren and help your son pay child support? ... Yeah, I thought so.
That is a good solution, although I feel sorry for the pain your son must endure. Let's hope Rachelle won't mention the sexual performance or your involvement. If she doesn't mention that stuff then consider yourself to have dodged a bullet.
And please, get your son off pot. It causes demotivation and most people don't realize the effect can last for weeks, not just while under the influence. It also gives a false feeling that everything is great, when in fact your life may be going to hell. Use of pot can lead to major depression and the symptoms can last a year or longer even after quitting pot. You cannot solve life's problems by turning to alcohol or pot. They only worsen the problems because they encourage ignoring problems. They call it 'dope' for a good reason.
And make sure your son has a ready supply of condoms, it's worth it even if you pay for them. Consider a STD blood panel.
BTW are you ready to have grandchildren and help your son pay child support? ... Yeah, I thought so.
What does her mentioning the sexual thing have to do with it
OP, your son is 19 so that means he's an adult. Stay outta his relationship life as he needs to find out and experience life's curves on his own. If you know she's cheating, then so does he.
That is a good solution, although I feel sorry for the pain your son must endure. Let's hope Rachelle won't mention the sexual performance or your involvement. If she doesn't mention that stuff then consider yourself to have dodged a bullet.
And please, get your son off pot. It causes demotivation and most people don't realize the effect can last for weeks, not just while under the influence. It also gives a false feeling that everything is great, when in fact your life may be going to hell. Use of pot can lead to major depression and the symptoms can last a year or longer even after quitting pot. You cannot solve life's problems by turning to alcohol or pot. They only worsen the problems because they encourage ignoring problems. They call it 'dope' for a good reason.
And make sure your son has a ready supply of condoms, it's worth it even if you pay for them. Consider a STD blood panel.
BTW are you ready to have grandchildren and help your son pay child support? ... Yeah, I thought so.
What does her mentioning the sexual thing have to do with it
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The term is rather evocative. 
They all need testing.
