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Old 11-09-2018, 02:24 PM
 
6,156 posts, read 3,475,628 times
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My 3yo grandson and I were taking a walk and he ran ahead. I asked him to slow down because "I'm a slow poke". He said "Well I'm a FAST poke!"
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Old 11-09-2018, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
21,899 posts, read 26,733,768 times
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DH had had the birds & bees discussion with our older son. Several days later, after DS had a while to mull it over, he and his Dad were walking into a department store when he asked DH to explain again about the "penis in vagina part". Asked loudly.

Younger son slept on a trundle bed for a while. One night after he had gone to bed I heard him yell. He had his arm stuck in the space between the trundle and the bed it was under. I extricated him and he said, "It's dangerous under there!" Another night I found him talking in his sleep, about the really important things in life: cookies and fast cars.

Granddaughter, when she was about two, was sitting on the floor with her mom, playing. One of their dogs, who was fairly large and pretty dumb, kept walking over the play area. She finally pushed him away and said, "Sam, stop being obtrusive!"
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Old 11-09-2018, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Plainfield NJ
125 posts, read 41,528 times
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Not so crazy as all this but, I told my 4 year old to "respect your elders" and he pointed to me and said "I'll spank your elbows"
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Old 11-09-2018, 08:44 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,291 posts, read 8,458,560 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie Joseph View Post
Standing in a crowded line in a grocery store and my daughter was about 4 years old and loudly announced, "I heard that man in front of us fart, and it STINKS!" I wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment...
I yelled the same thing as your daughter in church. Then I got up and ran down the aisle to get away from the stench. Even the priest laughed.
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Old 11-10-2018, 03:14 AM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,265 posts, read 1,925,357 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by metamorphosis View Post
I had a discussion with my grandson (age 4) about why “Gwamma” can’t stand up and pee next to him. Without missing a beat, his asked, “Don’t you have a penis?”

When I told him that I don’t, he looked thoroughly disgusted, as if I lost mine or something.

***

When we were driving past a senior assistant home with pictures of older folks on the windows, he pointed and said, “Look Gwamma! Your picture is up on the wall!”
Ah; you’re a Gwamma? I’m a “Gwomma”, myself ...

I had grandson (#2 out of 4, so far) fulltime for two years & during one summer, some wasps built a nest on our front porch.

I’m allergic to bee stings & tend to be a little anxious around insects & between the dog, the grand baby & still having the three youngest kids (all teenagers) at home; exiting & entering the house turned into a daily “comedy of errors” that usually devolved into me me making a mad dash for it, waving my arms around, yelling at everybody to “Huuurry ...!”, etc ...

As soon as we would make it inside I would look at grandson & say “Whew! We made it! I sure don’t like bees (wasps)!” And he would answer; “Me either!”

One afternoon we got back just in time for his nap, which he was not happy about. He fussed & mussed, fiddled & diddled around & every time I walked down the hallway; I’d see him trying to sneak off the bed, so I finally plopped down on the bed & started reading, much to his dismay. He did lay down & scowl at the ceiling for a few minutes but then he sat up, put his hands on his hips & bellowed “GWOMMA!”

“Yes, Glenn?”

“I LOVE BEES.”
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Old 11-10-2018, 09:47 AM
 
Location: NY>FL>VA>NC>IN
2,188 posts, read 822,949 times
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4.5 y/o grandchild does a funny weird bedtime thing:

My daughter says the very last thing Evangeline requires (and will INSIST upon) before my daughter leaves her at bedtime is for my daughter to bite her forefinger, then child follows suit with Mother's finger, and both MUST SAY "don't say 'OW', say, 'it feels great!' ". That whole phrase, not just the "it feels great" part, MUST BE SAID.

This is a kid who has displayed some OCD symptoms from around age 2 and is a tad odd.

Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 11-10-2018 at 10:02 AM..
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Old 11-10-2018, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Surfside Beach, SC
1,925 posts, read 2,490,454 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
We were driving to Miami many years ago and talking about what we were going to do in Miami. My young daughter piped-up, "When we get to 'YOUR'ami,' can we go to the beach?"
That's just adorable!


Quote:
Originally Posted by AJ1957 View Post
Please help me to understand why a child would say this? In any context? Reading it made me a tad nauseous.
I didn't understand that vagina comment either, although it didn't cause me to feel nauseated, I was really confused. I can't think of anything they sell at McDonald's that sounds like the word vagina, or what that child could have meant.
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Old 11-10-2018, 12:55 PM
 
5,164 posts, read 2,330,360 times
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Neighbor shared this one:
Dad gets pulled over with kids in the car.
Officer Friendly hands the Dad his speeding ticket.
Dad is embarressed ...and his son says.
Hey dad! That's awesome!

Dad says...what is awesome about getting a ticket?
Son says...well Dad weren't you just telling mom the other day you didnt have enough money to go to that concert? Now you got a ticket. You can go!
Gosh that officer was nice to give you one.

DAD Just knew he was in for years of explaining things to his son.
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Old 11-10-2018, 03:55 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
35,453 posts, read 43,641,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
My 3yo grandson and I were taking a walk and he ran ahead. I asked him to slow down because "I'm a slow poke". He said "Well I'm a FAST poke!"
Typical male, LOL
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Old 11-10-2018, 04:00 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
35,453 posts, read 43,641,424 times
Reputation: 58800
Quote:
Originally Posted by vrexy View Post
That's just adorable!




I didn't understand that vagina comment either, although it didn't cause me to feel nauseated, I was really confused. I can't think of anything they sell at McDonald's that sounds like the word vagina, or what that child could have meant.
We do not talk about vaginas to toddlers at our house, but I’m ancient.
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