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I chose not to be a mother/parent, no regrets at all.
Just talked to a guy doing work in our home and his daughter had a drug problem and he spent every dime they had putting her thru rehab a couple times so he'll never get to retire even though his work is very physical and he has trouble doing it (but very good at it). She's clean now but this area has lots of ways to fall back into drugs. He was not gung-ho on being a parent.
So you think everyone has kids who are drug users? Based on this one person you know?
Sure, some parents have kids with drug problems. But some people marry drug addicts or date drug addicts.
according to my Mother In Law, she does.
i married her daughter who now has POA for her Mother.
the regret is for my Brother In Law who has been trouble from the first.
1. ran away from home at least four times.
2. thrown out of private military school.
3. two DUI's with one felony conviction.
4. three divorces that we know of.
5. two children that we know of.
6. two drug habits.
my in-laws have spent over $100K on his rehab.
nothing "took". he has been written out of the will.
that is regret with a price tag.
I am one of the lucky ones. I hit the jackpot with my kids. I love them unreservedly, and even during the teen years, I always believed in them.
There were a few years when it seemed as if we would never be out of debt, or have discretionary income, but I never had second thoughts about having them.
Does anyone here think their life would have been better without children? Or perhaps would have taken a wholly different direction?
It would be different without my daughter. I honestly don't think of how it could be better because I refuse to live in regret. The only thing I could live without is the knowledge of one day being separated from her. It is the only thing that brings me fear.
I was conceived when my parents were still kids and yet they were fantastic, sacrificing their wants and needs so that I, and later my brother, always had the best schooling, medical care, etc. They were truly poster children for America's Greatest Generation. I realized early on that I could never measure up to them.
My wife, a sweet soul, but was never "into" kids. She was also pessimistic about the future and the conditions that descendants would likely encounter.
Well, of course, my life would have gone much differently if I didn't have children. I think that's true for anyone. Kids do change your life.
Mine weren't even purposefully planned, (We took an "if it happens, it happens" approach) but I do not regret them one iota. Not even for a second no matter how anything else was going in my life.
Regrets being a parent? No.
My life would not be complete without having such pleasure to love and parent every single day..
That said, I have not always felt that way. In Middle School, my son gave me so much grief, I thought I was going to lose it. Now I love and adore him, he is matures more and more every day.
Some children are easier to parent that others. Some are an absolute nightmare to parent. Trust me, I know A LOT of kids, I work in a school.
Most of them are a pleasure to teach, speak to, and generally just be around them is a delight. Others, I wouldn't want to be their parent if I got offered a million dollars. Some are fresh, some are violent, some are manipulative and vindictive, mean, you name it. Basically, all the bad traits you see in adults you can see when they are in preschool. I am not kidding. A toned down version, but the bad traits are already there, ready to grow into something worse every day. The luckier ones, get classified and hopefully they can be taught the right skills but I hear there are others, the more severe cases, that never get better.
There's a saying, "Show me a boy at seven, and I'll show you the man." It is said that a person's personality is formed by age 7 or so.
There was a documentary years ago, where the "scientist" interviewed a group of the same children at different ages as they grew up. It was in Great Britain, I think. It seemed to be true that the children had the same flaws or good points that they had as little kids. Except I remembered that the one black boy did get more quiet and sullen as he grew up and realized he was different or was treated differently, or maybe had different opportunities? Something like that. The basics were still there, but the kids did react to their worldly environment, as they grew up. It was a very interesting documentary. It was updated years later, when they were interviewed as adults.
In my case, without being too specific and long winded....
Yes, my son literally saved my life. Raising him has been
the biggest success of my life. I am incredibly grateful to
be a parent.
My daughter also saved my life when she was 7 years old.
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My daughter also saved my life when she was 7 years old.
