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Old 11-12-2018, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Plainfield NJ
97 posts, read 18,604 times
Reputation: 163

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
If you put the amount of money you would blow on your son's traveling team expenses into a savings plan you could probably send him to college and he would graduate debt free. Just do the math on how much you would spend on gas, food, and lodging. What are you going to do with the other eight kids during those times you're traveling? Seriously, get the calculator out and do the math. I don't know if I would call a traveling team spoiling but I sure as hell wouldn't shell out that kind of cash. Especially if I had eight other kids.
Yes we would do it for the other kids. And we already told them that. We invited the other 14 year old boy to tryouts and he decided not to go. And if this team will help offset college WHILE he gets to have the experience of traveling and playing and making friends than its worth it. As opposed to saying sorry kid you can't do it but I'm saving the money.
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Old 11-12-2018, 11:16 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,136 posts, read 8,288,977 times
Reputation: 9587
Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
Yes we would do it for the other kids. And we already told them that. We invited the other 14 year old boy to tryouts and he decided not to go. And if this team will help offset college WHILE he gets to have the experience of traveling and playing and making friends than its worth it. As opposed to saying sorry kid you can't do it but I'm saving the money.
So, you're spending thousands of dollars for him to MAYBE get a scholarship instead of playing on leagues that cost less money and putting that money you would have spent into a savings account? That's some wonderful financial sense. And people wonder they they're broke.
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Old 11-12-2018, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
8,830 posts, read 9,056,743 times
Reputation: 12291
How expensive are we talking with regards to joining this team?
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Old 11-12-2018, 12:52 PM
 
3,421 posts, read 3,308,170 times
Reputation: 8750
Parents try to do the right thing for each kid - and it sounds as if playing on the travel team is the right thing for THIS kid, at THIS time. In an intact family, perhaps one parent would go with the travel team, and one stay home with the other kids. You've got two sets of parents. You may very well be able to handle the travel team trips, and on the weekends that his kids are visiting, you stay home with the kids who want to stay home, and Dad traves with the son and any of the other kids who may want to go along. Also, it's entirely possible that son would travel with the team, and stay in the room with another boy's family. And not every game is going to be an overnight stay. A lot of them would be to towns within driving distance that doesn't require an overnight stay.

As for money, even state schools now cost over 100K for a bachelor's, and private schools over 250k for a bachelor's. So yes, a possible free ride for baseball makes trying travel team this year worth it.

But the most important thing is that the kid be encouraged to achieve to his highest level in a healthy sport, as opposed to quashing his dreams at this early point, and leaving him discouraged, with too much time on his hands.
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Old 11-12-2018, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Plainfield NJ
97 posts, read 18,604 times
Reputation: 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
So, you're spending thousands of dollars for him to MAYBE get a scholarship instead of playing on leagues that cost less money and putting that money you would have spent into a savings account? That's some wonderful financial sense. And people wonder they they're broke.
I dont wonder. I know how to tend to my money. And when you weigh expense against experience this one seems worth it. And I wouldn't call myself broke.
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Old 11-12-2018, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Plainfield NJ
97 posts, read 18,604 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BostonMike7 View Post
How expensive are we talking with regards to joining this team?
Around 2k plus travel.
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Old 11-12-2018, 01:54 PM
 
11,579 posts, read 5,982,982 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
I sure hope this kid is getting straight As. Not many kids end up as professional baseball players.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
He does not. And I know he wont make the majors. But he believes and it makes it work hard and try to improve himself. So I'm not going to tell him hes not. And we've recently explained that if there are 5 spaces in college and 100 baseball kids they will base it on grades so he better start working a little harder

It's your decision but if you want any kind of good outcome for the kid, travel team should be contingent on strong grades.
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Old 11-12-2018, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Plainfield NJ
97 posts, read 18,604 times
Reputation: 163
So after we spent an inordinate amount of time talking about this, we come to the conclusion that even if she agrees to let him play, when it actually comes down to traveling out of town to play it is a very good possibility that she wont actually let him go. Which will be a huge waste of money. So we think we are going to have to get her to agree to let him live with us or get an order that stipulates he is allowed to travel and she cant prevent it. Which I think means he cant play this year. She is playing a lot of games around this
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Old 11-12-2018, 05:56 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,158 posts, read 1,103,529 times
Reputation: 7045
Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
So after we spent an inordinate amount of time talking about this, we come to the conclusion that even if she agrees to let him play, when it actually comes down to traveling out of town to play it is a very good possibility that she wont actually let him go. Which will be a huge waste of money. So we think we are going to have to get her to agree to let him live with us or get an order that stipulates he is allowed to travel and she cant prevent it. Which I think means he cant play this year. She is playing a lot of games around this
Think about hiring a skilled social worker to set up a negotiation meeting or two for you.

I have done this and it was just what the doctor ordered.

The person you choose has to be good at mediation, though.

I called a few people and found someone I thought could do it (this is not a normal thing they do) and suggested it to her, and she was up for it. The meeting went very well and I think everyone left pleased.
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Old 11-12-2018, 06:06 PM
 
3,421 posts, read 3,308,170 times
Reputation: 8750
About this one, I would discuss it with the kid. If he understands all the implications of your committing to this, and spending the money on it, and taking the time to schlep him to the away games, and he still wants it, then it's time to approach the mother with it. I agree that doing it in the context of a negotiation meeting, with a pro, with just the two biological parents there, and maybe the young man, too, would be the way to do it, if the mother would agree to meet, but from what you've described, it doesn't sound as if she would. If the mother still refuses, and the boy says that he wants to move in with you so that he can do it, just let him move in, and let the mother take you to court if she wants to. 14 is very different from ten, and if he fights constantly with his siblings, moving in with you would be better for the peace in his mother's home.

But if the kid doesn't want to move in with you, and would let his mother forbid him to go to the games on her weekends, then just give it up.
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