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Old 11-13-2018, 06:33 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
35,005 posts, read 43,151,047 times
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It sounds like attention deficit. My husband and 2 sons have this. Any other kid, you can say, do this, do this, and do this, and they will. But ADD people do not remember.

They are all successful adults now, but it is because they learned coping skills.

If your daughter needs to do a sequence of things, she needs to write them down and check the list.
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Old 11-13-2018, 07:08 PM
 
3,451 posts, read 3,325,148 times
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This is a common characteristic of ADHD. Get some help from the school. She needs help in developing a system that works for her. If she has a locker, she needs a checklist posted on the inside of the locker, listing the things she needs to bring home every day. Then she needs assistance in training herself to check and pack at the end of the day. Teacher might appoint a "buddy" - a friendly and pleasant organized classmate who cues her to look at the list and pack up at the end of the day.

Any rewards need to happen that day, not be cumulative, at first, until the habit is more established.
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Old 11-14-2018, 03:13 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
8,891 posts, read 10,389,984 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maila View Post
Thank you so much Birdie. I scheduled a meeting with her teacher and i have a slot on 30th Nov.
he birthday is Dec 15, 2011.
So I'm seeing posts about ADHD and such. She might just be too young for second grade. In my state a kid must be 5 by September 1st in order to enter kindergarten. Now I'm not saying that's a a good or bad thing, but by second grade there is more responsibility put on the kid and I'm having a difficult time imagining a 6 year old handling that well. It might very well be beyond her capabilities and possibly as frustrating for her as it is for you.
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Old 11-14-2018, 07:01 AM
 
1,040 posts, read 1,063,395 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by petsandgardens View Post

Perhaps it's just timing and her memory is younger than others.

Perhaps it's a medical thing.

Perhaps she's destined to be an amazing genius who is very forgetful...not unusual.
It could be the timing too. In our province, kids have to be 4 to be in JK by 31st Dec. So, she was and still is the youngest of the lot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeydance View Post
what does she always remember?

possible examples:
1. favorite TV channel/shows/times.
2. birthdays/holidays/no school days.
3. favorite clothes/toys/ etc.
She remembers 1 and 3. 2, not so much other than her own birthday, Diwali and Christmas. why did you ask though?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
How about bracelets in different colors to represent different things? Sounds like she needs some help.
Ok...let me read more into this
Quote:
Originally Posted by foodyum View Post
She needs to create memory triggers. For example a melody to sing that contains the 3 items. Or something like remember the 3 Bs (book, bottle, bag). Write 3B on her hand, 3 tones. 3 color rubber bands related to the color of the items. You need to help her come up with her own system. Is she more visual (make it 3 colors), a singer, a nursery rhyme type, Obviously reward when she gets it right.
This is the beginning building blocks to consciously increase memory capacity.
I know many love the reward charts but it wasn't motivating for my children and it would not motivate me. As an adult I don't reward myself for jobs well done especially if someone else is in charge of the judging. YMMV.
I never heard about this before (didnt have a reason to look into it until now) and it sounds really good. Let me try; I am willing to try everything at this point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
My son is in 2nd grade. The teacher tells them to pack up certain things every single day. It's a process and it usually takes 10 minutes for everyone to get packed up. Your teacher should be giving out the communication folder at the very end of the day, and it immediately goes in the bag. How could she forget it when it's handed to her at the end of the day?

Forgetfulness is also a sign of laziness and thinking it doesn't matter. She needs to understand that it does matter. Your teacher should start writing notes in there to see if they are seen, even if it's a good day. I hope your teacher requires an initial each day. Ours does. It's annoying, but my son thinks he gets in trouble if I don't sign because he doesn't get a checkmark.
No Falcon, our teacher doesnt. At grade 2, they expect kids to know what to do. When the bell rings, she says pack-up. Thats all. It is expected out of the students to know what 'pack-up' is. She, however assists the students in reminding them to leave their unfinished projects/crafts in designated spot. I go to pick her up from school on and off (otherdays, daycare provider does) and everytime I go, i see that she is helping around putting the chairs in its place, returning the books to the shelves etc when every other kid (except 2 of her friends who are also with her) is changing into outdoor shoes, getting into jackets etc.
When she sees everyone out of the room, she runs around trying to get things done.
I tried addressing it by telling her that the communication book needs to be in the bag, before she puts her outdoor shoes on....yesterday she remembered, there is no guarantee about today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
It sounds like attention deficit. My husband and 2 sons have this. Any other kid, you can say, do this, do this, and do this, and they will. But ADD people do not remember.

They are all successful adults now, but it is because they learned coping skills.

If your daughter needs to do a sequence of things, she needs to write them down and check the list.
I agree, she needs a more systematic approach. I also feel that a check list will come in handy. I have to figure out a way to find something that will help her remember to check the list (bracelets etc)

Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post

Any rewards need to happen that day, not be cumulative, at first, until the habit is more established.
The same day? much like potty training....OK, i suppose I could try this also.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TXNGL View Post
So I'm seeing posts about ADHD and such. She might just be too young for second grade. In my state a kid must be 5 by September 1st in order to enter kindergarten. Now I'm not saying that's a a good or bad thing, but by second grade there is more responsibility put on the kid and I'm having a difficult time imagining a 6 year old handling that well. It might very well be beyond her capabilities and possibly as frustrating for her as it is for you.
My husband keeps saying the same thing that it cant be anything medical. BUT she is surely lagging behind in remembering, that much i can feel and as a parent I usually know if something needs to be worked on.
But to your point, many kids in her class are about 8-12 months older than her because anyone born in 2011 make it to grade 2. She is Dec 2011 and if there are kids from jan and Feb 2011, we are looking at a good 11 months age gap. Maybe at 6, it does make a huge difference. Thats why, I need a mechanism to help her with this.

I noted:
1. Same day rewards (could be small treats)
2. Bracelet/ color cues
3. Song/ phrase
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Old 11-14-2018, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,320 posts, read 4,846,083 times
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This may sound crazy, but would a sticker inside her shoe help? You mentioned that she has trouble remembering to put the folder in before getting her shoes on. Maybe even just a round sticker on the inside that's the same color as the folder? My son could not have done this without prompts at 6. And your daughter is the one helping clean, while others are just worrying about their own things. The teacher should have everyone get their things packed and then have everyone to help clean up, or assign it as a job so it isn't the same ones doing it all the time.

My son's teacher is more strict than others he's had and I was worried about whether he'd be able to get his homework written down and get his things together, but she didn't start off the year expecting them all to be able to do everything. She writes the homework on the board and tells them to take out their planners and copy it down. She's definitely prompting them to establish the routine early on. One day he did forget something and since it had happened a couple of times before I asked him to go through when everything is supposed to happen and then asked him what he thought he could do to make sure it went smoother. I think it helped him to go through it.

I wouldn't rush to an ADD diagnosis because a VERY young 2nd grader is forgetting things at a very rushed time of the day.
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Old 11-14-2018, 12:45 PM
 
1,053 posts, read 306,746 times
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"what does she always remember?

possible examples:
1. favorite TV channel/shows/times.
2. birthdays/holidays/no school days.
3. favorite clothes/toys/ etc.
She remembers 1 and 3. 2, not so much other than her own birthday, Diwali and Christmas. why did you ask though? "


This is very telling, I feel. Seems like just a sweet little girl. She still likes her little girl show and her toys.

My siblings and I were all autumn births somehow. A doctor once told my mom that a brother was "very young for his class". But the system said that's when he was supposed to go to school. Life was a bit of a mystery to him until he got in with wonderful Christian Brothers in high school and is extremely successful now.

I had no trouble. I was advanced and skipped a grade. Not to show off but to add that is why someone in school early did well.

Next sibling would not have done well either with the old requirement like yours. She was also a sweet little child. Thankfully, at that time there was the option to start early as yours, or to wait till next year. My parents had my sister wait. I think the system was testing that option because the following year you had to be of age for start of school in Sept, not Dec.

Your situation is sad because even one month can be 'younger' than the child a month older. BUT, even sadder because your husband and the school system doesn't understand this and is not in her corner.

Are there a group of like-minded parents who can protest this requirement? Or is it truly a requirement and perhaps you can choose to have your child start back up next year.
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Old 11-14-2018, 12:47 PM
 
Location: East Cobb, GA
824 posts, read 342,764 times
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The problem is that if she has a checklist or some sort of reminder like that she’ll simply forget to look at it.

Is there some way you could have a reminder taped onto her desk or cubby? You know your daughter best and can determine where she’ll look.

I know that I was somewhat forgetful as a child. I started to become extremely routine about certain things. and that works 99% of the time. The problem is that there are times where I’ll be on my way to work and think "did I sign DD's permission form for her field trip" or "did I put deodorant on" (luckily that happens hardly ever).
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Old 11-14-2018, 01:08 PM
 
4,875 posts, read 1,599,062 times
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make up a silly song.
Sing it to her REPEATEDLY
Have her sing it with you.
Tell her to sing it to herself as a reminder.


To reinforce, draw a music not in each of your palms, press/hold hands together before school as you sing the song together to 'activate', and have her press the 'note button' as a reminder at the end of the to remember the song.
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Old 11-14-2018, 01:35 PM
 
7,094 posts, read 2,767,338 times
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I suspect she's not forgetting at all, she just doesn't feel like doing it.

My son was like that, wouldn't bring home homework folder or items he needed for homework, or his empty lunchbox, and when he got in the door I'd check to see, and if he didn't have it, it was back to school we went.

No getting your snack right now, no taking off your shoes, get in the car, we're going back to the school.

Took about twice and he didn't forget that stuff again. (of course there was the occasional forgotten thing, but he stopped purposely leaving the stuff at school because he didn't feel like carrying it).
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Old 11-14-2018, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,662 posts, read 38,254,437 times
Reputation: 74901
Quote:
Originally Posted by TXNGL View Post
So I'm seeing posts about ADHD and such. She might just be too young for second grade. In my state a kid must be 5 by September 1st in order to enter kindergarten. Now I'm not saying that's a a good or bad thing, but by second grade there is more responsibility put on the kid and I'm having a difficult time imagining a 6 year old handling that well. It might very well be beyond her capabilities and possibly as frustrating for her as it is for you.
I agree. I really think her age is a big part of it.

In our system, third grade is the big transition year where kids are expected to be more independent. Second grade seems to be pushing it, but even so, 6 is young for second grade.

She just may not be mature enough to grasp it all yet.

OP, was this a problem in first grade? Did the teacher help establish systems then? How did she manage first grade?
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