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Old 11-13-2018, 02:11 PM
 
1,040 posts, read 1,063,395 times
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Hi, my daughter is 6, turning 7 in the next couple of months. She just started grade 2. I am not sure what the issue is but it looks like she is forgetting at least half the things she is supposed to at school. For example, things that she knows she needs to bring bag dont come back even after repeated reminders. Its causing an issue. I can see that she is struggling with remembering this and I am simply at loss as to how to help her.

In JK, she used to forget her lunch bag/ water bottle etc. It took me 6 months to instill in her that she needs to bring it back. In Grade 2, she needs to bring back the "communication Book" where the teacher writes us messages, notices for outings etc come home. In any given month (20 days), she wold have forgotten at least 14-16 times. So on an average, the book comes home once a week.

I tried the below which didnt work, if anyone has any better solution, please guide me. I would be very thankful and so will my daughter be...

1. Wrote her a check list of things to check before leaving the class room (list has 3 items, lunch bag, water bottle, communication book). She forgets to check the check list.

2. Told her she will get a reward if she brings home 5 days in a row (hoping what worked for potty training will work). Nope.

3. Yelled at her...nope, didnt work.

4. Let he miss outings etc so that it would send a harsh message. Nope didnt work.

I am at loss. How can I help her remember things?
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,664 posts, read 38,254,437 times
Reputation: 74906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maila View Post
Hi, my daughter is 6, turning 7 in the next couple of months. She just started grade 2. I am not sure what the issue is but it looks like she is forgetting at least half the things she is supposed to at school. For example, things that she knows she needs to bring bag dont come back even after repeated reminders. Its causing an issue. I can see that she is struggling with remembering this and I am simply at loss as to how to help her.

In JK, she used to forget her lunch bag/ water bottle etc. It took me 6 months to instill in her that she needs to bring it back. In Grade 2, she needs to bring back the "communication Book" where the teacher writes us messages, notices for outings etc come home. In any given month (20 days), she wold have forgotten at least 14-16 times. So on an average, the book comes home once a week.

I tried the below which didnt work, if anyone has any better solution, please guide me. I would be very thankful and so will my daughter be...

1. Wrote her a check list of things to check before leaving the class room (list has 3 items, lunch bag, water bottle, communication book). She forgets to check the check list.

2. Told her she will get a reward if she brings home 5 days in a row (hoping what worked for potty training will work). Nope.

3. Yelled at her...nope, didnt work.

4. Let he miss outings etc so that it would send a harsh message. Nope didnt work.

I am at loss. How can I help her remember things?
Your teacher should be involved in this. You need a system that works at home and at school, and the teacher has to help reinforce it at school.

It's very common at this age, and the end-of-day procedures should be pretty established in her classroom.

Start by meeting with the teacher to see what can be done.

You also could have your daughter screened for issues with "executive function." Even though this blog has a silly name, it is full of very helpful info that could be applied to your daughter.

2nd Grade Snickerdoodles: Executive Function: What Every Teacher Should Know

With the help of her teacher and hopefully the school psychologist, you need to find out how your daughter processes this type of info and what you can help her do to process it better.

Also, 6 seems a little young for 2nd grade. That may be part of the issue. When is her bday?

Last edited by BirdieBelle; 11-13-2018 at 02:33 PM..
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:40 PM
 
1,040 posts, read 1,063,395 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post

Also, 6 seems a little young for 2nd grade. That may be part of the issue. When is her bday?
Thank you so much Birdie. I scheduled a meeting with her teacher and i have a slot on 30th Nov.
he birthday is Dec 15, 2011.
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:41 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,282 posts, read 1,147,662 times
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Create a refrigerator REWARD chart. Check it daily. Give her reward at the end of week for compliance. (Check online for specifics).
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:57 PM
 
1,040 posts, read 1,063,395 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Create a refrigerator REWARD chart. Check it daily. Give her reward at the end of week for compliance. (Check online for specifics).
I did. not the written chart but I had a hand made one; one that said she will be a treat/reward of her choice at the end of the week.
What breaks my heart is, she genuinely seems to forget; I dont think she is being inattentive.
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Old 11-13-2018, 03:09 PM
 
1,055 posts, read 306,746 times
Reputation: 1552
Don't let her feel bad and at fault though. You need to gather info. Keep it sort of light with her till you know what's what. Six can be a very spacey time. And 7 and 8. And 13 and 14 etc. Just keep an eye out and gather info.

Teacher meeting, check.

Without acting like she is 'less than' you could see her doctor, letting him know in advance what the issue is. You could see a professional medical health person to gather ideas, a registered social worker, psych person...

Perhaps it's just timing and her memory is younger than others.

Perhaps it's a medical thing.

Perhaps she's destined to be an amazing genius who is very forgetful...not unusual.
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Old 11-13-2018, 03:16 PM
 
959 posts, read 333,343 times
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what does she always remember?

possible examples:
1. favorite TV channel/shows/times.
2. birthdays/holidays/no school days.
3. favorite clothes/toys/ etc.
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Old 11-13-2018, 04:16 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,282 posts, read 1,147,662 times
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How about bracelets in different colors to represent different things? Sounds like she needs some help.
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Old 11-13-2018, 06:11 PM
 
530 posts, read 422,685 times
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She needs to create memory triggers. For example a melody to sing that contains the 3 items. Or something like remember the 3 Bs (book, bottle, bag). Write 3B on her hand, 3 tones. 3 color rubber bands related to the color of the items. You need to help her come up with her own system. Is she more visual (make it 3 colors), a singer, a nursery rhyme type, Obviously reward when she gets it right.
This is the beginning building blocks to consciously increase memory capacity.
I know many love the reward charts but it wasn't motivating for my children and it would not motivate me. As an adult I don't reward myself for jobs well done especially if someone else is in charge of the judging. YMMV.
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Old 11-13-2018, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Austin
7,099 posts, read 17,015,424 times
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My son is in 2nd grade. The teacher tells them to pack up certain things every single day. It's a process and it usually takes 10 minutes for everyone to get packed up. Your teacher should be giving out the communication folder at the very end of the day, and it immediately goes in the bag. How could she forget it when it's handed to her at the end of the day?

Forgetfulness is also a sign of laziness and thinking it doesn't matter. She needs to understand that it does matter. Your teacher should start writing notes in there to see if they are seen, even if it's a good day. I hope your teacher requires an initial each day. Ours does. It's annoying, but my son thinks he gets in trouble if I don't sign because he doesn't get a checkmark.
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