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Old Yesterday, 10:22 AM
 
6,977 posts, read 3,814,393 times
Reputation: 4652

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
No kidding.

OP, the father's moving an hour and a half away wasn't addressed by your parenting plan? That factor does explain why he wouldn't want to drive your son to a weekend game.
He chose to move that far. Not sons or my issue. Judge didn’t have much sympathy because he still drove back for work. He works 30 minutes from my house.
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Old Yesterday, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
28,443 posts, read 18,043,666 times
Reputation: 40934
We co-parent with a selfish jerk. As I told my husband "you chose her." Shrug. Too late to complain, you do your best to work around it.

Only a year to go for us though.
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Old Yesterday, 10:55 AM
 
4,306 posts, read 1,812,794 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
And?
And.....you knew he was all these things.
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Old Yesterday, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,325 posts, read 4,853,003 times
Reputation: 3016
Do you have a lawyer? It's all so convoluted it's hard to tell. People that I know who have divorced have not been allowed to disrupt their children's lives just because they want to move away. The kids remained in their activities and if the other parent wanted visitation they still had to bring them to the activities.
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Old Yesterday, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
52,075 posts, read 51,211,422 times
Reputation: 61163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
We co-parent with a selfish jerk. As I told my husband "you chose her." Shrug. Too late to complain, you do your best to work around it.

Only a year to go for us though.
Yeah, he and the OP and me are not the only ones who made that mistake, and we won't be the last.

Yup, you just have to work around it. Time takes care of the problem. Thankfully, my daughter is an adult now.
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Old Yesterday, 11:22 AM
 
6,977 posts, read 3,814,393 times
Reputation: 4652
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
And.....you knew he was all these things.
He was fine when we were together. So no I didnít know all these things. He was very different. I donít even know who he is today. His hobbies, likes/ dislikes, style of dress, etc. he didnít smoke when we were together. He did when he left me.

He is a chameleon
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Old Yesterday, 11:26 AM
 
6,977 posts, read 3,814,393 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
Do you have a lawyer? It's all so convoluted it's hard to tell. People that I know who have divorced have not been allowed to disrupt their children's lives just because they want to move away. The kids remained in their activities and if the other parent wanted visitation they still had to bring them to the activities.
Yes and I called. He said I could keep son home, send father a message that we can meet after activity, but he can file contempt of court order. The judge will say it is the fathers time and he can chose to spend it how he wants. Son at 12 can go to court and say he wants to discontinue visitation.

Our family court laws need a serious overhaul. It is not fair for kids to have to be subjected to this
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Old Yesterday, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Orlando
1,828 posts, read 2,430,337 times
Reputation: 6596
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Our family court laws need a serious overhaul. It is not fair for kids to have to be subjected to this
It's not so much the laws that need the overhaul -- the laws are generally written to focus on what's in the best interests of the child.

It's the individual judges with their sometimes arbitrary and bizarre decisions that need the overhaul. Sometimes it appears that the judge couldn't care less about the best interests of the child.
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Old Yesterday, 02:42 PM
 
25,245 posts, read 11,862,630 times
Reputation: 11822
Apparently im going to be the opposite view here. YOU scheduled things during the other parents time. YOU got your son all excited about it, and now the other parent is the bad guy for not doing what you feel you can oblige him too. Thats wrong. And the attitude that he is the bad guy....all comes from your choices. The father probably considers them the "selfish jerk choices" made by his ex,



As for the other kid....what EXACTLY do you think the father should do? Kick the other child out? Rent a spare house? If you think some sort of talking needs to occur, then find a way to communicate that politely. Something I doubt is occurring when your trashing this guy because you scheduled stuff during his time.
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Old Yesterday, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,325 posts, read 4,853,003 times
Reputation: 3016
Quote:
Originally Posted by greywar View Post
Apparently im going to be the opposite view here. YOU scheduled things during the other parents time. YOU got your son all excited about it, and now the other parent is the bad guy for not doing what you feel you can oblige him too. Thats wrong. And the attitude that he is the bad guy....all comes from your choices. The father probably considers them the "selfish jerk choices" made by his ex,



As for the other kid....what EXACTLY do you think the father should do? Kick the other child out? Rent a spare house? If you think some sort of talking needs to occur, then find a way to communicate that politely. Something I doubt is occurring when your trashing this guy because you scheduled stuff during his time.
There is no time or day for practices or games given when you sign up for sports. I don't know if it's a new thing, but that's definitely how it is now. Should a child really not play any sport ever? It doesn't sound like the OP is that easy to co-parent with either, but the child shouldn't be punished for this. If you get divorced and then move away from your kids, you're the one that should be giving things up. I would never choose to move 90 minutes away from my child. If there was some reason absolutely beyond my control I would be the one coming back for his life while working every day to get back closer to him.
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