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Old 12-05-2018, 08:56 PM
Status: "I am Santa Claus." (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
6,992 posts, read 2,657,201 times
Reputation: 13009

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone View Post
Instead of staying with his father every other weekend, maybe he can stay with his father every Sunday. If that won't work get creative and find a similar arrangement that will work. And don't sign your son up for any more activities that fall in his father's time with him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
For a while the father only got him 2 hours every Wednesday night. My son would love to go back to that schedule but his father refuses.

It would be impossible to sign son up for sports that only fall on my time. They have no organizations that are on an every other weekend schedule. It is not fair to the child to never be able to play sports.
Horrible father, wanting more than 2 hours a week like that. Since you're unwilling to work with him and only seek ways to justify keeping him from his son, I see any further advice would be a waste of time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I fully expect son to stop having any type of relationship by the teen years.
No doubt with your encouragement.
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Old 12-05-2018, 09:11 PM
 
4,342 posts, read 1,831,335 times
Reputation: 12271
Quote:
Originally Posted by foodyum View Post
Iím going to get judgey here but only to offer a different perspective because Iím sensing a bit of a victim mentality. 2 children, 2 different fathers, didnít marry the second, not sure about the first. Didnít live with either for very long after the babies were born. Maybe look at your choices and take responsibility for at least some of this situation.
Your second baby daddy has a lot on his plate with a difficult stepson and a long drive to your house. So you think he should uproot his family and move closer to you so he can take his son to practices!?. Sheesh.
I call bs on not knowing when the games are scheduled. Ask anyone who was on the team last year or the coach or join a league that doesnít have games on Saturday for religious reasons if available. Maybe next season sign him up for a league near his father and you pick him up and take him to his games. Or tell him your signing up for a summer intensive on the sport.
Put on some big girl pants and figure out a work around, you are not going to change him.
The fact that you refer to yourself as a spectacular parent is atypical and telling.
+1 yet it will be ignored.
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Old 12-06-2018, 12:40 PM
 
11,258 posts, read 9,334,270 times
Reputation: 14728
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
For years my son (8 years old) has been asking to play sports. His father has been very against it. The father gets him every other weekend.

This past spring I signed him up for baseball and most of the practice and games happened during the week, so I could take him. He missed a couple Saturday games but not many. His dad did take him to one or two.

He wanted to play an indoor winter sport, so I signed him up with only knowing that the events would be Thursday, Friday or Saturday. I was hoping Thursday or Friday and I could take him before he went to his father. Of course with our luck everything is scheduled for Saturdayís. I tried getting him switched to another night but his age group only does Saturday. I called his father to see what we could arrange. I was ok with keeping him, or his father taking him. His father threw a fit and said he has better things to do on his weekends then run kids all over for sports. My argument is that as a parent, we often do things we donít want to do because it is something our child wants to do and we need to encourage him
You signed him up without any input from his father. While your argument may be hunky dory ON BALANCE, you don't get to decide for your ex what he does with his Saturdays for the foreseeable future. You CONSULT with him about OPTIONS before the decision is made. The most likely out will be that you get to keep your son and your ex goob thinks it was his idea. Win.

You take the high road until your son is old enough for him to take the SEE YA LATER road. Good luck.
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Old 12-06-2018, 12:43 PM
 
11,258 posts, read 9,334,270 times
Reputation: 14728
Quote:
Originally Posted by CentralUSHomeowner View Post
Curious to know why you had a child with a "selfish jerk" as you put it? How long did you date this man before you married him? How long after being married did you have a child?
What difference does that make at this point?
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:57 PM
 
6,982 posts, read 3,829,241 times
Reputation: 4662
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone View Post
Horrible father, wanting more than 2 hours a week like that. Since you're unwilling to work with him and only seek ways to justify keeping him from his son, I see any further advice would be a waste of time.



No doubt with your encouragement.
Do you remain friendly with people that have abused you and said very nasty things to you?

My son has been physically abused by his father, witnessed him being arrested a few times and had to endure many horrible things being said about him by his father. Just last summer his father stood in a parking lot saying he wanted my fiancť to adopt him So he wouldnít have to pay child support. How would you feel if you had to listen to your father say over and over he does not want you?

My son has had to sit in police cars until I could get to him because his father was in handcuffs and being arrested.
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:00 PM
 
6,982 posts, read 3,829,241 times
Reputation: 4662
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
You signed him up without any input from his father. While your argument may be hunky dory ON BALANCE, you don't get to decide for your ex what he does with his Saturdays for the foreseeable future. You CONSULT with him about OPTIONS before the decision is made. The most likely out will be that you get to keep your son and your ex goob thinks it was his idea. Win.

You take the high road until your son is old enough for him to take the SEE YA LATER road. Good luck.
Actually I did consult him and he was fine with him doing soccer. Sent him the application which stated practice and games would be Thursday, Friday or Saturday. His disagreement cane when it was Saturday that was the scheduled time and he didnít want to do it.

I consulted him before son got a cell phone as well. He was fine as long as I was paying for it. He is selfish.
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:45 PM
 
3,561 posts, read 7,011,441 times
Reputation: 4604
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
snip...

Frankly he lived in my area when we chose to have son. No one told him to move so far away from his child. I have lived in the same five mile radius my entire life.
You chose to have a baby with someone you weren't even living with? And you mock his new wife for wanting to stay in her hometown when you've done exactly that?
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Old 12-06-2018, 04:20 PM
 
6,982 posts, read 3,829,241 times
Reputation: 4662
Quote:
Originally Posted by MurphyPl1 View Post
You chose to have a baby with someone you weren't even living with? And you mock his new wife for wanting to stay in her hometown when you've done exactly that?
He lived with me when we had son. We had been together three years at that point. He met me while I lived in the same area. He knew that I was never moving anywhere else. One would think where your minor children live would trump everyone else, when deciding where you will live.
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Old 12-06-2018, 04:35 PM
 
2,608 posts, read 1,344,152 times
Reputation: 6917
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I did that for baseball. He has son 4 overnights a month. I have the rest of the time.

If son only has 4 nights a month over there I wouldn't bother fighting about the stepbrother.
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Old 12-06-2018, 04:37 PM
 
2,608 posts, read 1,344,152 times
Reputation: 6917
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
He lived with me when we had son. We had been together three years at that point. He met me while I lived in the same area. He knew that I was never moving anywhere else. One would think where your minor children live would trump everyone else, when deciding where you will live.

It's probably best to not start with the "one would think" comments. You picked the guy. There's enough "one would think" to go around.
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