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Old 12-25-2018, 11:39 AM
 
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So the next day I told him the Xbox goes off at 1 regardless of what his friends do and he was okay with it. He gets too worked up while playing games on it with his friends. If he wants to go on his iphone while in his room afterwards I am not going to complain as that is a lot more low key and I don't think will effect his ability to get to sleep. And usually when he gets in his bed he goes to sleep pretty quickly. Thanks for all the responses.
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Old 12-25-2018, 04:27 PM
 
28,223 posts, read 45,666,327 times
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Are you concerned that your son is too ready to listen to his friends vs you..
It seems he did take the rule w/o an argument
My concern as former high school teacher would be peer pressure...

And our son is over 40 now but his best friend when they were starting college was very bright guy who got into Rice--was National Merit scholar I think
He went on sco-Pro because that is exactly what he did--stayed in his dorm and played video games on his Commedor or whatever the computer was back then...
He had to go home--Denver--where his mom and dad were divorced--
His dad refused to kick him any extra money since he was over 18 (no child support) and he had to get a job--worked at like a Best Buy--maybe did some community college for some basic classes...
Saw what life would be like w/o a decent education
Went back to Rice and did well
Got degree in Economics
Working for Jack Henry now out of San Diego
At the time I thought his dad was cheap--and actually I still do because he screwed my friend/his ex-wife--over in the divorce...and she had done nothing to incur his ire-
He was just selfish...
But his son didn't suffer any real harm from some "tough" love...

So I agree with some of the other posters--
I think your son would do better learning some life skills vs spending so much time gaming on line
There is lot of nasty subversive behavior that creeps in when people game on-line
And I doubt he is only playing with kids you know--
Do you monitor his game sessions at all?

And if he is a mediocre student that might mean he will do worse in college--
Not that he needs to get college degree--a physical trade or something in computers or medical area via a community college can be fulfilling and rewarding financially--
If he has the ability to master the material...
Being a good plumber is more than changing a faucet...
Electrician is even more demanding
But those are skills robots won't be taking over any time soon IMO...
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Old 12-25-2018, 06:59 PM
 
4,612 posts, read 2,114,658 times
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Suggested reading:

“The Effect of Presleep Video-Game Playing on Adolescent Sleep”

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/art...sm.6.2.184.pdf

I work with high school students and they truly do not get enough quality sleep. I suggest to them and their parents that they adjust their phones for use in the evening (use built-in Night Shift feature on iPhone or get free app, Twilight, for Android).

IMHO it’s the least we can do for them. Reducing their screen time can be a battle, so decreasing potential stress on their sleep quality is an easy thing to ask. I also educate them on the issue and the students are really engaged in the topic of circadian rhythms. Very interesting. Recent Nobel Peace prizes have been awarded to scientists who have done research in the field.

FWIW, couldn’t hurt.
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Old 12-25-2018, 10:35 PM
 
Location: Texas
3,752 posts, read 2,957,731 times
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My kids are only 11 and 8, and we don't allow electronics to be kept in their rooms at night and they must be off them at least 30 minutes before bedtime. I know such rules may be more challenging when they're teens.

However, I will admit that we probably allow too much use of electronics during the day on vacation and summer. But, when I sit and think about what my 11 year old does with her pad, and compare it to how I passed my time at her age, I find a lot of similarities. For example, she uses it to listen to music and watch videos. I used to sit in my room listening to my stereo and playing records, or watching MTV. Same thing with gaming. She uses her pad to play games, and my friends and I sat around playing Atari.

So, really, a lot of what they are doing today, and even the time spent doing it, is no different than what we did as kids, but I think the problem comes into play because of their literal proximity and attachment to their devices.
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Old 12-26-2018, 07:51 AM
 
28,223 posts, read 45,666,327 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Ag 93 View Post
My kids are only 11 and 8, and we don't allow electronics to be kept in their rooms at night and they must be off them at least 30 minutes before bedtime. I know such rules may be more challenging when they're teens.

However, I will admit that we probably allow too much use of electronics during the day on vacation and summer. But, when I sit and think about what my 11 year old does with her pad, and compare it to how I passed my time at her age, I find a lot of similarities. For example, she uses it to listen to music and watch videos. I used to sit in my room listening to my stereo and playing records, or watching MTV. Same thing with gaming. She uses her pad to play games, and my friends and I sat around playing Atari.

So, really, a lot of what they are doing today, and even the time spent doing it, is no different than what we did as kids, but I think the problem comes into play because of their literal proximity and attachment to their devices.
In some ways you are very correct--
Kids' activities are similar to those of the past
But the advent of the Internet has a direct impact on how we ALL are influenced by those not known to us
Internet users run the gamut from your BFF that you do know to someone from another state or country who (we all know) could be a masked presence and a bad actor...and for older teens--there is just so much bad behavior/prejudicial attitude present on some gaming platforms/systems that you risk a lot to have kids exposed to that...IMO--
So much mysogeny for one thing apparently...

My kids are in their 40s--my son was into his Commodore 64 and Atari but those were closed systems
If he wanted to play with his friends they normally has to be in the same room
Now so now when he goes online w/his Ps4 and can play with any mix of individuals

My grandson is 6--he has a Leappad (very closed system), watches Prime and Netfiix and YouTube on streaming tv and his mom's laptop but has no conventional video exposure, no phone or tablet himself...
His mom asked for a Switch this Xmas because she loves Mario Kart and she bought him an XBox Ninjago game he can play on my husband's XBox w/him--but that would be something he has no real control over

It is very easy to delegate parenting to letting kids do what they want---
Playing video games is designed to be addictive behavior to certain extent
Just like smoking was designed to make smokers become addicted to make them long-term users

I am not saying all video game playing is worthless or going to turn your kid into a danger to society
But ANY parent should know his/her kid better than I do
If you think your child is playing video games too often--likely they are--
And likely they are even if you DON'T think they are playing too much
For every hour of video gaming maybe they should be involved in some other activity--
Outdoor play, chores, learning to cook, doing school work, learning to code vs being a user of code, just reading in a real book --which creates a different mental stimulus than on a screen from what I have read...
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Old 12-26-2018, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
3,809 posts, read 4,401,171 times
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During school breaks my kids can stay up as late as they want, regardless of grades. My HS freshman was up past 2 a.m. last night (I know this because *I* went to bed at 2 a.m.). My HS sophomore, on the other hand, was in bed by 10 p.m. as per her usual. On the Friday before school starts back up I'll dial back the late nights so that on Sunday they are back to their normal 10 p.m. bedtime.
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Old 12-27-2018, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,108 posts, read 6,488,653 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rminnehan View Post
I have a 17 year old son in the 11th grade. I have his Xbox turning off at 1AM. He said he should be allowed to play later because his friends do and also it is Christmas vacation. He is an okay student; not always keeping up with his school work but does okay. Last night he gave me a hard time because his Xbox went off at 1. Opinions?
On weekends and vacation it shouldn’t matter.
I would let him.
Plus he’s 17 in a few months it won’t matter anyways and he’ll be setting his limits.
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Old 12-28-2018, 08:15 AM
 
Location: NJ
9,562 posts, read 20,527,861 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rminnehan View Post
I have a 17 year old son in the 11th grade. I have his Xbox turning off at 1AM. He said he should be allowed to play later because his friends do and also it is Christmas vacation. He is an okay student; not always keeping up with his school work but does okay. Last night he gave me a hard time because his Xbox went off at 1. Opinions?
My 33 year old son was raised on Nintendo. It came out when he was 3, he of course got one. Over the years he upgraded to other systems, now he has an Xbox one. He's always loved to stay up late playing, and once he got to be a teen I allowed him to as long as his grades were ok and it wasn't affecting him getting up for school. He could stay up late to play on Friday and Saturday nights but Sunday it would cut off by midnight if I remember correctly. Even to this day, he still loves to pull almost all nighters playing with friends on his days off. As was mentioned, there are way worst things he could be doing. I would give another hour on vacation and Friday and Saturdays as long as it didn't affect anything like school or work. As was mentioned, there are worst things he could be doing. He's in your home and safe.
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Old 12-28-2018, 08:48 AM
 
3,517 posts, read 2,532,360 times
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I'd take my 17 year old safe and sound at home playing harmless video games vs. being out on the street doing who-knows-what. Even if it was at 1am.
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Old 01-02-2019, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
9,006 posts, read 9,320,574 times
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At age 17, I was out drag racing my Mustang at 1AM.

Let the kid play video games as long as it's not affecting other areas (school, work, social, etc) of his life.
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