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I fear that if i don’t take her food she’ll sit there and go hungry.
She’s done a lot for me and even potty trained me.
I like to make sure she’s taken care of.
And you still haven’t given a single valid believable reason as to why you can’t prepare meals in advance. If the fridge is truly too full for a few items then pack the food for the day in a cooler and drop it off. Don’t ask grandma, just buy one and do it. Buy her the wheelchair tray too.
I fear that if i don’t take her food she’ll sit there and go hungry.
She’s done a lot for me and even potty trained me.
I like to make sure she’s taken care of.
So you'd rather be at her beck and call, and at your mother's, than carve out a few inches of space in the refrigerator and make her some food ahead of time. That's your choice, so maybe stop complaining.
I fear that if i don’t take her food she’ll sit there and go hungry.
She’s done a lot for me and even potty trained me.
I like to make sure she’s taken care of.
Not one person has suggested you allow her to starve.
You create a schedule.
Edit- or go with the cooler idea. Regardless, you figure out a way.
I am curious though....if the fridge is not useable at all what is she eating other than fast food? Are you actually preparing meals or just picking up and delivering food that is purchased? That is expensive and not healthy particularly for older people who are frequently on a low salt diet (or should be). Is she eating any fresh food?
Last edited by maciesmom; 01-07-2019 at 10:15 AM..
If all she eats is Panera (which, I agree, isn't healthy for anyone), just have them deliver it. Then you don't have to be involved at all. Get her some canned fruit or something that she doesn't have to keep in the fridge.
Honestly, you have a lot of suggestions here and every excuse in the book about why it won't work. None of this is rocket science. It is common sense to come up with a food solution for grandma. Clean out the fridge, get a mini-fridge, get a cooler, use non-perishable foods, get a full-time job and use some of that money to hire someone to stop by and make her lunch... I mean there are literally 100 solutions you could probably come up with on your own if you gave it a few minutes of thought. Very bizarre.
If you really can’t solve this very simple problem and take control of your life, don’t complain that you are being treated like a child because you are acting like a child even though you’re 29 years old. If you refuse to take charge of your life, you’re stuck dealing with your mom, who also grew up to be a child. Do you see that you’re going to be just like your mom if you don’t make some major changes?
There are so many things you could do to earn $20 or $25 per hour - you could be a personal assistant for someone, do yardwork, housecleaning, etc. All of these things can be advertised on local FB pages, or CL or Next Door . . . so many possibilities . . .
Or get a real good union job with the City or County (with benefits and good pay), work at a hospital (again great benefits).
What kind of work does your BF do?
You really need a coach or something because you sound very mixed up! You are still young - get it together!
There are lots of foods that don't require refrigeration or heating. Buy your grandmother some fruit, nuts, protein bars, hard boiled eggs, cereals, bread, peanut butter, a can of vienna sausage, etc. that she can keep in her room to snack on when she gets hungry. I can think of lots more food that what I listed.
For breakfast, she could have a couple of hard boiled eggs, some toast (you could put a toaster in her room) and butter. Butter doesn't have to be kept in the fridge.
For lunch, she could eat some fruit and a protein bar, or a peanut butter sandwich.
Then for her evening meal, you can get her some Panera or whatever. Also, Panera delivers - so you don't even have to go there for that. Just have them deliver something.
Your grandmother is not going to starve to death in a matter of hours! You don't need to run over there every time she's hungry.
There are so many things wrong with the way you are dealing with this situation. I'm trying to figure out what you feel is beneficial from putting yourself in this position. It's all on you - not on anyone else. I guess you like feeling the way you do. Otherwise you would change your behavior and we all know that's not going to happen.
I'm really curious to find out why you think you can't deal with her meals the way I described. I know you'll come up with something, or else not even bother to respond.
I don’t think txtqueen wants a job. She just wants to keep living for free in her grandma’s house and mostly sit around and do nothing. She just wants to be treated like an adult even though she doesn’t act like one and she also doesn’t want to deal with her mom, who also does not act like an adult.
You could buy frozen meals and show your grandma how to microwave them. You could write instructions next to the microwave.
The small refrigerator that you buy for her could have snacks in it and you could make tuna sandwiches or salami and cheese or whatever she likes. She should eat sitting up, though - so not sure the fridge in the bedroom is a great idea.
As far as their refrigerator is concerned - you have a lot of resentment towards your mom and don't feel you should have to clean up her mess - but her mess affects grandma - so maybe hire someone to clean out the fridge and start over again. If you can buy another regular fridge - and have one for your mom and one for your grandma, do that.
I hope you have taken some tips from this thread that you can use to improve your life.
Frozen meals and bagged salads could solve a lot of your problems.
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