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Old 12-28-2018, 01:55 PM
 
5,176 posts, read 2,335,973 times
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OP- How are you Mirroring positive healthy communication with other adults?

 
Old 12-28-2018, 02:50 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,625 posts, read 1,288,531 times
Reputation: 8030
Funny that no one has acknowledged your "handle" - why would anyone expect you not to be texting while doing anything?

P.S. Vaping is bad for you, and I am sure it is also expensive . . .
 
Old 12-28-2018, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,283 posts, read 22,426,241 times
Reputation: 35952
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Funny that no one has acknowledged your "handle" - why would anyone expect you not to be texting while doing anything?

P.S. Vaping is bad for you, and I am sure it is also expensive . . .
No one has acknowledged her name because she's been posting here for 10 years. Most of us are very well acquainted with both her and her situation.
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,125 posts, read 6,498,237 times
Reputation: 3088
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
No, you didn't. You moved into a house owned by a family member, rent free, and hven't had a real job in years.
But you are dependent on your grandmother. You wouldn't have a place to live without her.
You can't change her.
This.
I’m not dependent she’s just saving me money.
If I rented I’d have astronomical rental fees because of my low credit and 2 dogs and 2 cats.
The house has been willed to me anyways.
When I move out it’s going to be bulldozed and it’s been rezoned for industrial.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
What your OP describes doesn't sound like a "parenting" or "treated like a child" thing. That dialogue is something that could have just as easily happened between spouses, or friends, or siblings. Right or wrong, people get annoyed when others are constantly glued to their phones, no matter what the relationship.
This is how she talked to me as a child.
She’s always yelled and cussed at me. It’s never changed.
When we’re in the same room she’s always telling me what to do, she never asks.
She loves to put me down or insult me. My grandmother frequently will tell her to leave me alone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
I don't know, it seems you are not able to set boundaries because if you did you would not be allowing your mother to continue to talk to you that way. Her asking to help set the table is fine, that's what close relatives often do at family gatherings, pitch in. You texting might be irritating BUT you are an adult and your mother wasn't parenting, she was being verbally abusive. You teach people how to treat you by what you accept and don't accept.

Seems though it's like talking to a brick wall because posters here have been trying to offer advice for 10 years. I figure you will just keep venting here and getting nowhere, so happy holidays .
I have no issue with her asking me to set the table, what I have an issue with is being yelled at for using the possessions I pay for by the woman who told me if I didn’t want her telling me what to do that I needed to move out of HER house and pay my own bills.
I verbally set boundaries and tell her she can’t speak to me like but is hard to do things like cut her off until she changes when she lives with my grandmother.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
So focused on the wrong thing here. Makes no difference who bought the phone or pays the bill. I was under the impression you were at the house to VISIT with your family on Christmas day, in which case it was rude for you to take out your phone and text others. If you wanted to text holiday greetings to your friends that could have been done when you were at your own home on your own time, not while you are at a family holiday dinner.
Your mom's reaction was way over the top and not excusable, but if you don't even understand why she might have been annoyed with you I don't know what to say.
I was over at my grandmothers house from 12 to 10/11pm...you really think a person isn’t going to touch their phone at all in a 10-11 hour time span? I was taking photos all night too. She chose ONE particular moment to TRY and be a see you next tuesday and I didn’t engage with her. I wasn’t having it. She on occasion when she fights with her mother will call me out of nowhere and will start screaming at me. She threatens to break things. She’s hard to be around.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
She sounds like she has dementia. Take her to doctor for an assessment.

This is a universal problem. I am 64 and staying with my mother over Xmas hols. She still treats me like I don't know anything.
At 54??
Can she even get dementia that early?
I figured she just likes targeting me and being a bish.
Like I’m in the process of going blonde and she told me my hair looked green and yellow and literally everyone else has been complimenting me and my grandmother and boyfriend told me to ignore her.



Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
OP, I know this isn't the point of your thread, but why would you, at 29, need your grandmother's help with getting health insurance? You know that you could have applied for ACA-compliant insurance all on your own before December 15? Now I believe only people who have special circumstances can apply. But you don't need grandma to help you with this. Just do it. Though since your boyfriend (?) is paying your cellphone bill, maybe you're not financially independent? Seems like there's a lot of weird stuff going on and your mother is only one part of it.

All of you need family therapy and you probably need individual therapy so you can do normal adult things like paying your bills and applying for health insurance. What a mess. But it's not a hopeless situation at all. Make 2019 your year to shine. You have the rest of your life ahead of you! Figure out what you need to do to get a job, set some boundaries, pay your cellphone bill, and succeed!
From what I was told if you get “Obamacare” there’s deadlines but if you get private insurance there’s no deadline. (This is mostly why my grandmother was helping me. I haven’t had insurance since I was a minor and I don’t know what I’m doing.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Funny that no one has acknowledged your "handle" - why would anyone expect you not to be texting while doing anything?

P.S. Vaping is bad for you, and I am sure it is also expensive . . .
Idk why my mom expects anything differently. She gets angry at me when I don’t answer my text messages within a literal minute or she’ll start rapidly texting me over and over again and will tell me “you’re always on your phone so why can’t you answer me??” and like I’ll be in the shower or at therapy.

It’s just real unhealthy the way she treats me and that’s why if I have to deal with her that’s why I’d like to see the changes be on her end.

Also depends on what’s being vaped. ��
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,125 posts, read 6,498,237 times
Reputation: 3088
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 years now too.
It’s OUR finances.
I AM financially stable.
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:21 PM
 
4,548 posts, read 1,915,270 times
Reputation: 12853
So in summary- an adult with no job, no rent, no health insurance and can't get it on their own, crap credit and dyeing your hair blonde.

Ok.

How are YOU financially stable with no job? You aren't married. It's HIS money.
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,125 posts, read 6,498,237 times
Reputation: 3088
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
So an adult with no job, no rent, no health insurance and dyeing your hair blonde.

Got it.
No Iím an adult in a relationship with someone who pays our bills and takes care everything financially aside from rent. Heís saving money, heís fixing his credit, he just got a new truck, heís got a business credit card, heís doing all the right things.

Iím taking care of my health. Iím in physical therapy and I take care of my grandmother since my mom refuses to help me out at all. Sometimes Iím over there several times a day. Itís very hard for me to get things done when Iím being called out of the blue for breakfast and dinner and doctors appointments.
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:28 PM
 
Location: here
24,728 posts, read 29,203,831 times
Reputation: 31802
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Iím not dependent sheís just saving me money.
If I rented Iíd have astronomical rental fees because of my low credit and 2 dogs and 2 cats.
The house has been willed to me anyways.
When I move out itís going to be bulldozed and itís been rezoned for industrial.
Then move out. You won't have to deal with your mom on a regular basis anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Iíve been with my boyfriend for 8 years now too.
Itís OUR finances.
I AM financially stable.
No, you're not. You are unemployed and unmarried. If he decided to leave you tomorrow you'd be up sh** creek. Nothing has changed in years.
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,125 posts, read 6,498,237 times
Reputation: 3088
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
So in summary- an adult with no job, no rent, no health insurance and can't get it on their own, crap credit and dyeing your hair blonde.

Ok.

How are YOU financially stable with no job? You aren't married. It's HIS money.
Marriage is a religious thing first and foremost and he and I arenít religious so when we get married after you know being together for almost damn near a decade now itíll mostly be for the tax benefits and just making it official and excuse to throw a party.

We ALL know in todayís society if he and I were to get married that it doesnít mean **** and people get divorced and nothing is guaranteed forever.

Two people arenít together as long as he and I have been for no reason.
We donít need to be married to be committed to each other.
 
Old 12-28-2018, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,283 posts, read 22,426,241 times
Reputation: 35952
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
I’m not dependent she’s just saving me money.
If I rented I’d have astronomical rental fees because of my low credit and 2 dogs and 2 cats.
The house has been willed to me anyways.
When I move out it’s going to be bulldozed and it’s been rezoned for industrial.


...




From what I was told if you get “Obamacare” there’s deadlines but if you get private insurance there’s no deadline. (This is mostly why my grandmother was helping me. I haven’t had insurance since I was a minor and I don’t know what I’m doing.)



Idk why my mom expects anything differently. She gets angry at me when I don’t answer my text messages within a literal minute or she’ll start rapidly texting me over and over again and will tell me “you’re always on your phone so why can’t you answer me??” and like I’ll be in the shower or at therapy.

It’s just real unhealthy the way she treats me and that’s why if I have to deal with her that’s why I’d like to see the changes be on her end.

Also depends on what’s being vaped. ��
So where's all this money you've saved?

Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 years now too.
It’s OUR finances.
I AM financially stable.
You're 29 years old with no skills, no education, no health insurance and bad credit. I don't think you've ever held a job or been consistently employed for more than 1 year. You can't be bothered to find out how to get health insurance without relying on your elderly grandmother for help, even though you have all the time in the world to do so since you are unemployed.

News flash...that is not "stable" in any way. Financially or otherwise.

Grow up.
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