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First...….You're 29? Geez, time to start acting like it. If YOU were financially stable as you claim you are, then YOU would not have bad credit and COULD afford your own apartment or house. So no, you are not financially stable and relying on her. I personally don't think someone who is 29 should be living at home. You should have your own place, a good job, a 401K or some type of retirement savings.
2nd...… Marriage is not religious a thing as you stated. I actually laughed when I read that! You can go to the court house to get married you know. Marriage means you are actually committed to each legally. Not being married just makes it easier for one of you to walk away. He doesn't owe you anything and as others have stated if something was to happen to him you would probably get nothing. AND I WOULD NOT advise buying a house with a boyfriend! But anyway, that's a discussion for another thread.
3rd...….YES one can have dementia at 54.
To me, it sounds like both you and your mother have a lot of issues in your lives to work out, not just with each other.
I’m not living “at home”. Did I stutter?
I’ve said many times I live in a house that has been passed down to me by my family.
This house sat unlived in for nearly a decade before I moved in and started paying the utilities that had been kept on so my great grandmother could come over from time to time when she could.
My mom and grandmother live across town in my grandmothers house.
My boyfriend covers our utilities, electric, cell phone, cable, internet, he’s a subcontractor so he’s licensed and insured for his business.
I’m financially dependent on my boyfriend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
All true. Txt, do you know how many of us have been rooting for you for YEARS, only to hear the same old excuses?
Your car accident was an unfortunate setback. But it shouldn't impede your future. You can still finish your education. You can marry your boyfriend, and hopefully get enrolled on his insurance. You are living your mother's life, you just can't see it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccc123
Concentrate on the marriage not the wedding.
I’ve done that by focusing on our relationship.
His sister isn’t even divorced and she was separated from her husband a year before DB and I got together and he and I have been together going on 9 years now. She’s been with the same guy the whole time and they moved in together when DB and I moved to Tennessee. They never plan on remarry and she doesn’t plan on getting divorced any time soon for financial reasons on both parts.
I’m not living “at home”. Did I stutter?
I’ve said many times I live in a house that has been passed down to me by my family.
This house sat unlived in for nearly a decade before I moved in and started paying the utilities that had been kept on so my great grandmother could come over from time to time when she could.
My mom and grandmother live across town in my grandmothers house.
My boyfriend covers our utilities, electric, cell phone, cable, internet, he’s a subcontractor so he’s licensed and insured for his business.
I’m financially dependent on my boyfriend.
I’ve done that by focusing on our relationship.
His sister isn’t even divorced and she was separated from her husband a year before DB and I got together and he and I have been together going on 9 years now. She’s been with the same guy the whole time and they moved in together when DB and I moved to Tennessee. They never plan on remarry and she doesn’t plan on getting divorced any time soon for financial reasons on both parts.
It’s not uncommon.
Being financially dependent on another adult without any sort of legal protection or backup plan is not a good idea for anyone.
Just because something is common doesn't make it smart.
Look into community college, speak with both a career and a financial aid counselor and get some sort education or certification that allows you to get a job that allows you support yourself and that could provide you insurance and the ability to contribute to retirement savings. Then do it. Your combined incomes will allow you to reach and maintain your goals as well as provide you some level of protection in the event something goes wrong with DB or your relationship.
BTW this is not nagging at you or judging you or your relationship. This is the exact mantra I drilled into both of my children from the time they were young. It's good advice.
Last edited by maciesmom; 12-29-2018 at 11:17 AM..
Just because something is common doesn't make it smart.
Look into community college, speak with both a career and a financial aid counselor and get some sort education or certification that allows you to get a job that allows you support yourself and that could provide you insurance and the ability to contribute to retirement savings. Then do it. Your combined incomes will allow you to reach and maintain your goals as well as provide you some level of protection in the event something goes wrong with DB or your relationship.
I’ve already been approved and everything I just have to start driving but I’m now an Uber driver so after New Years I go to work. DB goes back to work the second.
I’ve already been approved and everything I just have to start driving but I’m now an Uber driver so after New Years I go to work. DB goes back to work the second.
Does Uber offer benefits (insurance and 401k)? How does that affect your car insurance?
It's better than sitting on your keester but does it help you plan for the future? Why do you continually shortchange yourself?
Don’t forget I live in Smashedville, home of country music and drunkards.
Lucrative business out here.
My brothers girlfriend works at a very popular bar downtown and she makes money hand over fist every night.
Well working would make more money than going to school would.
How many people out there have degrees but can’t find jobs in their preferred field?
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen
Don’t forget I live in Smashedville, home of country music and drunkards.
Lucrative business out here.
My brothers girlfriend works at a very popular bar downtown and she makes money hand over fist every night.
You are not thinking long term. You're not thinking beyond next month.
Are you planning on living there forever?
I never said the only way to success was a degree. You are reading what you want to read. I said education - whether degree or certification of some sort. Training, along with experience longer than a few months before you quit in a huff because your boss said or expected something you don't want to do.
You're a smart girl but your maturity and discipline are stuck at age 16. Sound familiar?
You are not thinking long term. You're not thinking beyond next month.
Are you planning on living there forever?
I never said the only way to success was a degree. You are reading what you want to read. I said education - whether degree or certification of some sort. Training, along with experience longer than a few months before you quit in a huff because your boss said or expected something you don't want to do.
You're a smart girl but your maturity and discipline are stuck at age 16. Sound familiar?
I agree with you but you are wasting your time, she has to want to change.
You are not thinking long term. You're not thinking beyond next month.
Are you planning on living there forever?
I never said the only way to success was a degree. You are reading what you want to read. I said education - whether degree or certification of some sort. Training, along with experience longer than a few months before you quit in a huff because your boss said or expected something you don't want to do.
You're a smart girl but your maturity and discipline are stuck at age 16. Sound familiar?
I’ve only ever quit jobs for better opportunities, better paying jobs. Not because I don’t like bosses.
I’m an adult I come home and drink and talk **** about them like a real grown up.
I agree with you but you are wasting your time, she has to want to change.
I know. Just like with her mother.
I can't understand why someone young, smart and who has resources would be satisfied living like that.
Hope springs eternal though.
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