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Old Today, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Central IL
13,925 posts, read 7,530,138 times
Reputation: 32438

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Wow....I had to make myself read through that complicated mess twice and I still don't get it or care enough to read again.

My thought is that there is way too much "accounting" going on. I understand making a fair effort to keep things equal but this is way too much work and effort - if you give, you GIVE.

And all this bringing in charity stuff too? Just DO IT if you want to do it and stop all the co-mingling because it comes across as being very cheap in the end. Stop involving others in your own "charity" because that really makes is small and negates it. Is this really generous in any way at all?
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Old Today, 10:04 AM
 
2,724 posts, read 1,186,206 times
Reputation: 10555
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Wow....I had to make myself read through that complicated mess twice and I still don't get it or care enough to read again.

My thought is that there is way too much "accounting" going on. I understand making a fair effort to keep things equal but this is way too much work and effort - if you give, you GIVE.

And all this bringing in charity stuff too? Just DO IT if you want to do it and stop all the co-mingling because it comes across as being very cheap in the end. Stop involving others in your own "charity" because that really makes is small and negates it. Is this really generous in any way at all?

Yes I felt it strange too. Just give presents knowing you made the recipient/s happy. Who else gets what or what they do with their money is nobodyís business. About the only thing I agree with clearly is that if someone states they will reimburse for something they should do it.
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Old Today, 10:07 AM
 
2,724 posts, read 1,186,206 times
Reputation: 10555
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Only some of us are involved in churches. Others are, I think, atheist or agnostic.

If I weren't involved in a church, I'd be a lot worse than I am. (This should not be taken as saying that people who aren't involved in churches are worse than people outside of churches; it simply means that in my case, my church involvement has helped "fix" some of my worst personality traits; this statement applies only to me.)

I am not too wild about some of my relatives. I'm sure that the sentiment is mutual.

For the other posters saying, "how would the airline know if you used miles to book a ticket and were paid for it": my parents would likely just go up to a ticket agent and tell him or her that it was done that way, but even if not, I am not up for breaking even small rules; it's just easier to follow all of them, consequences or not.
Then stop giving them tickets. In fact maybe you need to stop being so enmeshed in their lives. This situation sounds emotionally very unhealthy.
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Old Today, 10:21 AM
 
5,997 posts, read 3,209,021 times
Reputation: 15830
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Thanks, everyone. Airline rules prohibit using miles to book tickets and get paid something in return, so there canít be any kind of payment or other benefit in return. However, if someone booked a first-class plane ticket for me and didnít ask for anything in return, Iíd still try to be be generous back.

My parent donated the funds to my parentís own charity. The charity is for the benefit of one other family in the developing world. I have already given thousands of dollars to that charity. I donít like the charity because itís just a handout to one family (to pay for their schooling expenses) and it doesnít do anything to encourage the family to ďpay it forwardĒ or work; I think that requiring the family in turn to help others or work would be more beneficial than just giving the handout (as the family is able-bodied and well-educated). My parent has a hard time getting others to contribute to the charity- no wonder. I have served on my churchís benevolence committee (which donates church funds to other charities) and know what donors want in a charity, and this charity just doesnít cut it.

And I really donít like being told, ďOh, that money I said Iíd pay you. Iím giving it to my charity instead.Ē Paying me at least for the rental car and asking if Iíd like to give to the charity would have been better.
From what you described, that's not a charity, that's a tax dodge. It doesn't sound like your parents are hard up for money so much as looking for others to foot the bill. Let you pay for the first class ticket and rental car. Then "donate" money to a "charity" so they can take the tax write off whereas if she had given the money to you for the ticket, they couldn't write that off.
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Old Today, 10:47 AM
 
125 posts, read 40,094 times
Reputation: 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
From what you described, that's not a charity, that's a tax dodge. It doesn't sound like your parents are hard up for money so much as looking for others to foot the bill. Let you pay for the first class ticket and rental car. Then "donate" money to a "charity" so they can take the tax write off whereas if she had given the money to you for the ticket, they couldn't write that off.
Good points!
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Old Today, 10:52 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
74,227 posts, read 65,899,826 times
Reputation: 70798
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatzPaw View Post
You know, how about just cutting out all the word gymnastics with "the parent" and "the adult child" and just tell the story straight?

It appears that "Jane" is now upsetting you and not just your brother.

I really don't know how the airline would know if you got some cash in return.

I suppose you could stop providing her with tickets. And you could say something.
I agree. It sounds like a weird rule, unenforceable.

But why keep buying first-class tickets? For that matter, why doesn't the parent buy their own tickets? Is this because one of the kids flies a lot for work, and earns more points than s/he can use? Usually, parents pay for their own tickets and car rental, when they're going to visit their adult kids.
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Old Today, 11:20 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
3,253 posts, read 9,403,573 times
Reputation: 4919
As an ADULT, I don't expect ANY present from my parents. Why are you still getting birthday presents as an adult? That's odd to me. Birthday presents are for children. I haven't gotten a present from my parents in decades. I didn't realize this wasn't normal?
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Old Today, 11:21 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
3,253 posts, read 9,403,573 times
Reputation: 4919
I just bought my parents a laptop for Christmas, and have purchased them two plane tickets in the last year, and I'm not expecting a return favor. That's what "GIVING" and gifts are all about...
I'm soo confused by this post.
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Old Today, 11:22 AM
 
558 posts, read 437,324 times
Reputation: 577
You lost me at the amazon prime membership. That's $120!!!! Not even worth discussing and certainly not worth getting all crazy over, If you don't want to pay it for them then don't. If you don't want to give them the extra miles to upgrade in the future then don't.
But in my opinion, if you have the means, asking someone to split a rental car when you would be renting one anyway is just being cheap.

Who are you to judge what charities your parents like?
Sounds like your angry because you thought you had a deal and now you don't have the cash. Well I guess you didn't really have a deal and I hope you will be giving those upgrades as a true gift and not because you will be compensated for it later.

In the spirit of giving you could always donate those miles to an organization that would use them for medical transport and are more needy then your parents.
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Old Today, 11:47 AM
 
2,724 posts, read 1,186,206 times
Reputation: 10555
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmarie123 View Post
As an ADULT, I don't expect ANY present from my parents. Why are you still getting birthday presents as an adult? That's odd to me. Birthday presents are for children. I haven't gotten a present from my parents in decades. I didn't realize this wasn't normal?

Oh come on, that's like going from one extreme to the other. There is nothing wrong getting birthday presents as an adult sheesh! You bought presents for your parents, they are not children either.
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