U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-01-2019, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Miami-Jax
5,964 posts, read 6,527,661 times
Reputation: 3231

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Thanks.

Rocko 20, I have a job--and a career. We all have plenty of money (although my father won't let my mother use some of their ample money for her own charity). I don't need the cost of the rental car, but it's the principle of being stiffed in this situation that grates.

CatzPaw, I will stop providing them with tickets. I also had given my parents a Christmas present--a promise to renew their Amazon Prime membership. The expiration date is in January and they got upset when I gave them the renewal last time, in December, which was too early, so I had told them that I'd handle it right in January at the expiration date. I wonder how they'd like it if the cost of their Prime membership was donated to charity.

Airlines are smart and I follow rules, so if the airline says that you can't use miles to book a ticket and get reimbursed, end of story.
My mentality and mindset are different so I don't quite relate. I dunno if I would feel stiffed at all, even if my parents said they were gonna pay for half and didnt. But that's cause I would never expect them to and if they offered I would have said no. I don't blame you for feeling stiffed, I think we just have grown/developed with different expectations.

As for the airlines and their rules, this is correct. Lately there have been a lot of reports of airlines contacting their members who have given awards/benefits and passengers who have received awards/benefits to ascertain if there was any compensation given. They'll ask how long you have known the person, ask for corroborating evidence of the relationship, etc, and they even lurk on some of the online sites where these things are sold pretending to be buyers. The fact that these are your parents should totally work in your favor as they probably wouldn't consider investigating at all, but if for some reason they did and you feel like your parents are the type to say something about paying you back, then you actually might have some cause for concern. Not sure how to advise you to navigate this circumstance, but yes there is some risk there if, e.g., your mom is inclined to tell a stranger on the phone that she paid you back for those flights.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-01-2019, 12:27 PM
 
930 posts, read 253,662 times
Reputation: 1397
Quote:
Originally Posted by foodyum View Post
You lost me at the amazon prime membership. That's $120!!!! Not even worth discussing and certainly not worth getting all crazy over, If you don't want to pay it for them then don't. If you don't want to give them the extra miles to upgrade in the future then don't.
But in my opinion, if you have the means, asking someone to split a rental car when you would be renting one anyway is just being cheap.

Who are you to judge what charities your parents like?
Sounds like your angry because you thought you had a deal and now you don't have the cash. Well I guess you didn't really have a deal and I hope you will be giving those upgrades as a true gift and not because you will be compensated for it later.

In the spirit of giving you could always donate those miles to an organization that would use them for medical transport and are more needy then your parents.
I never asked for reimbursement for anything.

But then my parent offered to pay half of the rental car (which is what one does if one is polite) and later offered to give me cash for the ticket.

Then my parent reneged and said, “Instead of giving that cash to you, I’m giving it to my charity.”

The charity is legit and has IRS tax-exempt status. It is to help another family with its school expenses. I don’t like the charity; I am all for helping people but the help should be structured in a different way, such as an interest-free loan, which would encourage the family to work (it doesn’t).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 01:38 PM
 
1,490 posts, read 637,726 times
Reputation: 7978
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
I never asked for reimbursement for anything.

But then my parent offered to pay half of the rental car (which is what one does if one is polite) and later offered to give me cash for the ticket.

Then my parent reneged and said, “Instead of giving that cash to you, I’m giving it to my charity.”

The charity is legit and has IRS tax-exempt status. It is to help another family with its school expenses. I don’t like the charity; I am all for helping people but the help should be structured in a different way, such as an interest-free loan, which would encourage the family to work (it doesn’t).
I think the bolded is your politics/life view talking.

You don't have to like the charity your mother contributes to. That should not be the point of contention.

Stick with the problem being that you seem to have expected some payback (that you say you didn't expect or want but under the circumstances described you do) that you didn't get – not that the charity she chose to give your expected payback to does not meet your requirements as the way to give charity.

She should have followed through with what she said she would do and not diverted it to any charity. But she didn't. And I don't think that this is some brand new newsflash to you that your parents operate this way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 01:51 PM
 
930 posts, read 253,662 times
Reputation: 1397
Thanks. While I'm griping, another gripe:

I had about $1,000 left over in my healthcare flexible spending account this year. I mentioned it to my parents and they said, "we have some medical expenses coming up so you can run them through the account--we don't want you to lose $1,000!"

I looked into the rules and I would need to claim my parents as dependents on my tax return in order for their expenses to be run through my FSA.

When I went to tell them that, they started by saying, "Here, we have $1,000 in medical expenses to run through your FSA. You can pay us the $1,000 in reimbursements and we'll then give you $500--so at the end of the day, we split the $1,000 50/50".

I declined and told them that I had discovered that their expenses couldn't be run through my FSA, so we didn't do it, but this is yet another situation of attempted but unexpected money-grabbing. If they wanted to help me avoid losing $1,000, that's nice, but to agree to do it but then spring "we'll keep $500" on me after everything was allegedly settled, not cool.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 01:55 PM
 
2,740 posts, read 1,197,204 times
Reputation: 10626
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Thanks. While I'm griping, another gripe:

I had about $1,000 left over in my healthcare flexible spending account this year. I mentioned it to my parents and they said, "we have some medical expenses coming up so you can run them through the account--we don't want you to lose $1,000!"

I looked into the rules and I would need to claim my parents as dependents on my tax return in order for their expenses to be run through my FSA.

When I went to tell them that, they started by saying, "Here, we have $1,000 in medical expenses to run through your FSA. You can pay us the $1,000 in reimbursements and we'll then give you $500--so at the end of the day, we split the $1,000 50/50".

I declined and told them that I had discovered that their expenses couldn't be run through my FSA, so we didn't do it, but this is yet another situation of attempted but unexpected money-grabbing. If they wanted to help me avoid losing $1,000, that's nice, but to agree to do it but then spring "we'll keep $500" on me after everything was allegedly settled, not cool.
Why are you discussing your financial and medical expenses with them?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Richardson, TX
10,658 posts, read 17,014,013 times
Reputation: 26251
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmarie123 View Post
As an ADULT, I don't expect ANY present from my parents. Why are you still getting birthday presents as an adult? That's odd to me. Birthday presents are for children. I haven't gotten a present from my parents in decades. I didn't realize this wasn't normal?
It's normal in my family.

OP, you know what your parents are like. Either accept it and expect it, or stop giving them things like airline tickets. I can't fathom why you would even mention money related matters to them such as the FSA $1000, since you know what they are like about money. That's a problem you created.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
28,985 posts, read 18,336,904 times
Reputation: 41666
Wow, that is some convoluted mess.

First, sure they can give you money for the ticket. How in the world would the airline know? AND, they could just hand over the money for the ticket and call it a present.

I don't get the whole charity thing.

How about you all just pay for your own stuff and go from there?
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 01:58 PM
 
930 posts, read 253,662 times
Reputation: 1397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi View Post
It's normal in my family.

OP, you know what your parents are like. Either accept it and expect it, or stop giving them things like airline tickets. I can't fathom why you would even mention money related matters to them such as the FSA $1000, since you know what they are like about money. That's a problem you created.
Yes, I was stupid to have done that. Lesson learned.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
28,985 posts, read 18,336,904 times
Reputation: 41666
If you are using flight vouchers (your an employee) the rule is so employees do not sell their vouchers on line and such.

My MIL always gave us her vouchers and we would give her a few hundred.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2019, 02:09 PM
 
930 posts, read 253,662 times
Reputation: 1397
We use miles, not vouchers, but the general prohibitions appear to be similar.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top