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Old 01-01-2019, 02:32 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
74,355 posts, read 65,996,010 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Thanks, everyone. Airline rules prohibit using miles to book tickets and get paid something in return, so there can’t be any kind of payment or other benefit in return. However, if someone booked a first-class plane ticket for me and didn’t ask for anything in return, I’d still try to be be generous back.

My parent donated the funds to my parent’s own charity. The charity is for the benefit of one other family in the developing world. I have already given thousands of dollars to that charity. I don’t like the charity because it’s just a handout to one family (to pay for their schooling expenses) and it doesn’t do anything to encourage the family to “pay it forward” or work; I think that requiring the family in turn to help others or work would be more beneficial than just giving the handout (as the family is able-bodied and well-educated). My parent has a hard time getting others to contribute to the charity- no wonder. I have served on my church’s benevolence committee (which donates church funds to other charities) and know what donors want in a charity, and this charity just doesn’t cut it.

And I really don’t like being told, “Oh, that money I said I’d pay you. I’m giving it to my charity instead.” Paying me at least for the rental car and asking if I’d like to give to the charity would have been better.
They have no way of enforcing that, or even knowing if money was paid in return.

Why are you paying for the tickets (whether via miles or otherwise), if you expect your parents to reimburse you in kind, anyway? What's the point of that? Why not have them buy their own tickets? You still haven't answered this fundamental question. This is an odd ritual you all seem to go through annually, and now suddenly, it's not working out to your satisfaction. Life would be so much simpler, if you just did away with it.
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Old 01-01-2019, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
29,000 posts, read 18,336,904 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
We use miles, not vouchers, but the general prohibitions appear to be similar.
Your parents can pay you for them, that's private.
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Old 01-01-2019, 02:44 PM
 
941 posts, read 253,662 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Your parents can pay you for them, that's private.
Thanks. They could, but I am certain that they'd do something like go up to a ticket agent and exclaim, "Our child used miles to book these tickets and we paid our child cash in return." Literally, they would do that.
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Old 01-01-2019, 03:00 PM
 
11,455 posts, read 6,844,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Thanks. They could, but I am certain that they'd do something like go up to a ticket agent and exclaim, "Our child used miles to book these tickets and we paid our child cash in return." Literally, they would do that.
Then just have your parents buy their own tickets and not use your miles.
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Old 01-01-2019, 03:09 PM
 
941 posts, read 253,662 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
Then just have your parents buy their own tickets and not use your miles.
Good idea. That's what we will do from now on. They will book coach and whine about it incessantly, but so be it.
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Old 01-01-2019, 07:17 PM
 
566 posts, read 440,126 times
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Op, In Reading this thread it seems the main issue is about boundaries. Your money, miles, charity choices, medical bills etc should not typically be shared unless there are in financial crisis or have minor (or just launching) children who can not fully support themselves. Are you from a non American culture because this is just so not SOP? To me it sounds creepy and way too intrusive.
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Old 01-01-2019, 07:43 PM
 
941 posts, read 253,662 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foodyum View Post
Op, In Reading this thread it seems the main issue is about boundaries. Your money, miles, charity choices, medical bills etc should not typically be shared unless there are in financial crisis or have minor (or just launching) children who can not fully support themselves. Are you from a non American culture because this is just so not SOP? To me it sounds creepy and way too intrusive.

We're mostly American. At least my generation is, and my parents were both born in the US.

Money: Every year they give my brother and me a birthday/Christmas present of over $100. I didn't see that as unusual. In years when they'd fly first class, they'd increase it by a few hundred. My brother and I give them presents (of similar values) each year, too. I didn't see that as strange.

Miles: Parents will book coach (usually) and then whine about it so much, and I have slews of frequent flier miles, so I figured it would be helpful for them to fly first class.

Charity choices: My parents set up the charity but constantly tell me about and constantly ask me for money for it--since nobody else will give. They also made me an officer of their charity. They're the ones who constantly talk about it.

Medical bills: I just mentioned to my parents that I had $1,000 in my FSA that was going to go unused. Parents are older and have lots of medical expenses, so I figured that they might be willing to do something to help avoid losing that money.

I should have realized, though, that in every situation, they'll try to stiff me, financially.
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Old 01-01-2019, 07:53 PM
 
7,683 posts, read 9,164,822 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post

Medical bills: I just mentioned to my parents that I had $1,000 in my FSA that was going to go unused. Parents are older and have lots of medical expenses, so I figured that they might be willing to do something to help avoid losing that money.

.

So, you are completely knowledgeable about the airline rules (not a law, but an airline policy) that don't allow compensation for points, but you had no idea that FSA money isn't transferable? Seriously? FSA money is pre-tax, and you had no idea that you couldn't let others use it?
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Old 01-01-2019, 07:55 PM
 
941 posts, read 253,662 times
Reputation: 1412
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
So, you are completely knowledgeable about the airline rules (not a law, but an airline policy) that don't allow compensation for points, but you had no idea that FSA money isn't transferable? Seriously? FSA money is pre-tax, and you had no idea that you couldn't let others use it?

Did you actually not read my posts above? Seriously?

Just so you know, FSA funds CAN be used for others if the type of plan you have allows it. My plan allows them to be used only for dependents. I explained this above.
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Old 01-01-2019, 08:19 PM
 
697 posts, read 552,030 times
Reputation: 1512
I have never heard of FSA funds being allowed for anyone other than the enrolled and their dependents. It sounds like you're way too involved in each others' financial lives. Stop being bitter and stop paying for their **** and then complaining about it. If they whine that they have to sit in coach, that's not your responsibility at all.
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