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Old 01-01-2019, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,829 posts, read 3,524,522 times
Reputation: 13040

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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Wow....I had to make myself read through that complicated mess twice and I still don't get it or care enough to read again.

My thought is that there is way too much "accounting" going on. I understand making a fair effort to keep things equal but this is way too much work and effort - if you give, you GIVE.

And all this bringing in charity stuff too? Just DO IT if you want to do it and stop all the co-mingling because it comes across as being very cheap in the end. Stop involving others in your own "charity" because that really makes is small and negates it. Is this really generous in any way at all?
I agree 100%

Who cares if your parents gave to a charity instead of giving you a gift. This is what it all comes down to isn't it? You're mad they didn't give you a gift? You are an adult, correct? You expect your parents to still give you gifts or to reimburse you? That's the problem right there! Your title is misleading.

And the poster that stated their parents are cheap for giving him a $40 gift card for his birthday is ridiculous! As an adult I don't expect anything from my parents for my birthday or holidays and surly wouldn't expect her to pay me back for anything!

BTW......my DH travels a lot for work and so we get a lot of miles annually. He confirmed with the airlines whom gets miles through that he can buy tickets for others with those miles. If someone then pays you in return for those tickets the airlines would have no way of knowing this. You earn the miles and can use them how you please.

I do agree that it would be a violation had the poster used his FSA for his parents bills if they are not his dependents, but using FSA funds and airline miles are two totally different things!

Last edited by CGab; 01-01-2019 at 08:48 PM..
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Old 01-01-2019, 08:25 PM
 
967 posts, read 269,133 times
Reputation: 1508
Quote:
Originally Posted by cis_love View Post
I have never heard of FSA funds being allowed for anyone other than the enrolled and their dependents. It sounds like you're way too involved in each others' financial lives. Stop being bitter and stop paying for their **** and then complaining about it. If they whine that they have to sit in coach, that's not your responsibility at all.
FSA funds can be used for spouses and dependents, depending on the type of plan. In some cases, parents can be oneís dependents, oddly enough.

Thanks; they will be in coach.
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Old 01-01-2019, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
29,080 posts, read 18,400,398 times
Reputation: 41817
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
FSA funds can be used for spouses and dependents, depending on the type of plan. In some cases, parents can be oneís dependents, oddly enough.

Thanks; they will be in coach.
But not your parents.
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Old 01-01-2019, 09:01 PM
 
967 posts, read 269,133 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
But not your parents.
Correct. Thatís why I wasnít going to proceed: it would have required lying when submitting a receipt for reimbursement, and I would not do that.
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Old 01-01-2019, 10:55 PM
 
11,500 posts, read 6,875,312 times
Reputation: 21159
Quote:
Originally Posted by reebo View Post
Next trip, sit down and discuss expenses in advance. Get payment upfront or have them handle some of the expenses themselves, splitting different aspects of the trip. Or stop traveling together. Or make all the arrangements yourself and cancel if payment not received by a certain date.
Yeah, I don't see why everyone doesn't pay for their own stuff, or pay for certain aspects of the trip instead doing all these reimbursements. I went out of town for the weekend with a sibling. They got the hotel room, so I paid for our transportation. It wasn't the exact same price, but close enough. Then once we were there, we paid for our own meals, our own entertainment, etc... We didn't owe each other any extra money, we weren't splitting things 50/50. There were no money issues involved with the trip since it was all worked out beforehand.

If the OP continues traveling with his parents, then it would make better sense to sit down and discuss who is paying for what. If the OP upgrades their tickets, then they can get the rental car. But plan it out in advance, and make it where no one owes the other actual money.
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Old 01-02-2019, 11:43 AM
 
4,845 posts, read 1,696,977 times
Reputation: 11423
Quote:
Originally Posted by historyfan View Post
Saying you will pay back someone/anyone for something & then not doing so is inappropriate.

The separate issue of giving someone a gift that is a charitable contribution is nothing I would do unless recipient had requested it.


If you feel resentful, it might be time to re-visit your practice of giving away your miles.

Buuutttt...they DIDN'T say they would pay back for the cost. (If I'm understand this correctly.) It SOUNDS like, to me, that in the past, "gifts" of tickets and rental cars have been done in the past, and that it's an 'understanding' that everyone THOUGHT they understood.
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Old 01-02-2019, 02:10 PM
 
666 posts, read 158,161 times
Reputation: 1911
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20 View Post
Well, I received $40 from my mother one time as a birthday present so I know all about cheap parents. My father was cheap, and my step father was also cheap. Was it because they were poor, broke, or stingy? Who knows.

It's their money so they can do whatever the hell they want with it.

The only solution to just get your own job and start being cheap towards them. They want to see you during the holidays? You can't afford the plane ticket or gas to drive there. They want gifts for Christmas or fathers or mothers day? You give them a $5 Amazon gift card.

The way some parents treat their kids can come back to bite them.
If they are poor, 40 dollars can be a lot to them. And if gifts aren't important to them, they won't care whether you give him a $5 gift certificate or $500 gift certificate. It's possible, they could think you were foolish if you spend a lot of money on them.

They may be concerned about how they are going to support themselves in their old age, or they may be concerned about having money left so their children have an inheritance. I have never understood that, no one deserves an inheritance just for being born. Nice if one gets it, but it's not owed to anyone.
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Old 01-02-2019, 02:55 PM
 
967 posts, read 269,133 times
Reputation: 1508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Buuutttt...they DIDN'T say they would pay back for the cost. (If I'm understand this correctly.) It SOUNDS like, to me, that in the past, "gifts" of tickets and rental cars have been done in the past, and that it's an 'understanding' that everyone THOUGHT they understood.

They said they'd pay back 1/2 of the rental car. I'm sure that they had also said something like, "thanks, expect a larger birthday check this year because of that ticket", too. They then did neither.
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Old 01-02-2019, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
29,080 posts, read 18,400,398 times
Reputation: 41817
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
They said they'd pay back 1/2 of the rental car. I'm sure that they had also said something like, "thanks, expect a larger birthday check this year because of that ticket", too. They then did neither.
Why do you guys do it this way? Just pay for your stuff. What's the point of not paying for one thing, but then promising the payment as a gift? I find it odd.
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Old 01-03-2019, 10:17 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,797 posts, read 2,280,538 times
Reputation: 2620
If you choose to pay for someone's ticket and assure them you are not looking to be paid back, they have no obligation to pay you back or give a gift of the same value.


On the other hand, I think giving money to charity on someone else's name is NOT a gift in any way, and is rather tacky.
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