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Old 01-11-2019, 10:45 AM
 
1,351 posts, read 859,934 times
Reputation: 2462

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
Exactly. His motto was "Let your children own both their successes and failures" - my rebuttal to that was always that my son can't succeed or fail if he's standing on the sideline! Never voiced that to him and maybe I should have. But in the end, it wouldn't have mattered.

I actually feel sorry for The General's son. He was a great little kid, very positive and easy going and The General would berate him loudly during each practice and game. At the end of the last game when our team was getting blown out by 30, another kid was getting screamed at by The General and he lost it......just threw the ball down on the ground and cried his eyes out in an "I can't take this any more" fashion. I felt sick to my stomach for him and his parents. These are 6 and 7 year old children.
Yeah, there are always parents like that. And they tend to be the ones who feel they are the most qualified to coach. They are just sad.

And their own kids know what an ass their parent is. Or will follow the same path. But if they are any sort of aware, they know.

Best to model to your kid and other kids better behavior and respect. Encourage, empathize, listen.
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Old 01-11-2019, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
40,401 posts, read 39,025,128 times
Reputation: 76601
Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post

And that brings up a point about The General: he also coaches a competitive tackle football team where about 4 or 5 of his "core" players (ie: the ones who never come out of the flag football games) are on his team. I suspect this flag football team is nothing more than a training ground for these core players for the more competitive tackle football league.
Wow! Just like I said in post #6.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
I didn't attack him personally...
Yes, you did. You said that he is unable to follow the rules:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post

... my son would no longer be on his team due to his inability to adhere to the league's mandated rotational guidelines.
That's definitely personal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post

....I simply indicated that it did not seem that my son had a place on his team evidenced by his lack of playing time.
Hahahaha! Okay.

The dude is a jerk, but you just had to get in your parting shot. I really hope the guys who run the league find their spines and enforce things better going forward. (Let me guess ... the general is on the board.)
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Old 01-12-2019, 09:31 AM
 
6,071 posts, read 3,248,501 times
Reputation: 16119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Izzie1213 View Post
I guess the day is gone when neighborhood kids would meet up at park to play a little game of baseball just for fun, something to do. I couldn't hit, catch or really run fast but it didn't matter, it was for fun. Everyone played who wanted to. We didn't even keep score. Game ended when it was dinner time. I think the adults ruined the fun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Florida2014 View Post
I hear you.

There was a Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel (HBO) story on this very phenomenon. Their contention was that it was the prevalence of club sports which has ruined youth sports. Parents now have to pay a lot of money to these programs to stay competitive as there are very few truly "free" leagues any more. So the kids who only play in the few remaining free programs get left behind and are at a huge disadvantage vs. the kids who partake in the paid club/travel sports. This ups the stakes and creates coaches and parents who now have a lot of money invested and, thus, creates a lot more tension in youth athletics.

It was an interesting segment and something I hadn't thought about. But it does make sense. Here in NE FL I can't even think of a league around here that isn't several hundreds of dollars to play.....soccer, baseball, softball, basketball, football (tackle & flag).....don't get me started on tennis ($40/30 min lesson). It's really crazy.

I grew up playing wiffle ball and home run derby in my backyard with the neighbor kids. I only played in the local leagues and while it wasn't free it was very affordable. There was no travel ball and I don't remember many crazy coaches like The General at all until I got into high school where they were paid. This is probably a bigger discussion but I am trying very hard not to get caught up in it all.
Yep, neighborhood play is a thing of the past. Unfortunately today you either have to pay to play in one of the organized leagues or your kid doesn't play at all. Because all their friends are in one of those leagues. So if they aren't in one, then they are sitting home alone. What really frustrating is how so many parents see those leagues as the stepping stone to a college scholarship. They consider the hundreds or in some cases thousands of dollars a year as an investment in that scholarship, not a cost. Our town has a low cost soccer league (just a bunch of kids from the middle of no where that want to play) so we got to play against some of those high dollar teams and talk to the parents. I was stunned to learn just how much some of those teams cost per season (thousands) and how much parents paid for individual coaching sessions.

In some ways I think the cost of college and hope of a scholarship is what's driving the over the top behavior. Parents are disparage and see sports as the ticket. What they don't understand is how few scholarships there really are and even if their kid does get one, it won't be to a college that provides the education they need for the long term. This is a discussion we had with our kids about age 13 when they started running into this attitude -- we were very happy to support them playing, but when it came to college, it was about academics, not athletics.
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Old 01-12-2019, 08:38 PM
 
Location: TX/ Maryland
279 posts, read 57,970 times
Reputation: 492
let him stay in
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Old Today, 07:35 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 2,550,630 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Yep, neighborhood play is a thing of the past. Unfortunately today you either have to pay to play in one of the organized leagues or your kid doesn't play at all. Because all their friends are in one of those leagues. So if they aren't in one, then they are sitting home alone. What really frustrating is how so many parents see those leagues as the stepping stone to a college scholarship. They consider the hundreds or in some cases thousands of dollars a year as an investment in that scholarship, not a cost. Our town has a low cost soccer league (just a bunch of kids from the middle of no where that want to play) so we got to play against some of those high dollar teams and talk to the parents. I was stunned to learn just how much some of those teams cost per season (thousands) and how much parents paid for individual coaching sessions.

In some ways I think the cost of college and hope of a scholarship is what's driving the over the top behavior. Parents are disparage and see sports as the ticket. What they don't understand is how few scholarships there really are and even if their kid does get one, it won't be to a college that provides the education they need for the long term. This is a discussion we had with our kids about age 13 when they started running into this attitude -- we were very happy to support them playing, but when it came to college, it was about academics, not athletics.
Spot on. What most parents don't get is that if they put the thousands upon thousands of dollars they funnel into these sports programs in the hopes of winning that lottery ticket (scholarship) and, instead, dollar-cost average that money into a good 529 plan college would be paid for by the time Junior got to be 18. Or at least a large portion of it.

I love organized sports and truly believe it to be a very, very good thing for kids. It promotes a lot of great behaviors and values that I think carry on through adulthood. But I am very much aware the extremely long odds of my son getting an athletic scholarship. I think the number I last read was around 2%. As I said previously, I just want my kid to be happy and play. If he develops into a great athlete, great! If not, I'm happy as long as he's happy.
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Old Today, 07:38 AM
 
3,555 posts, read 2,550,630 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post

The dude is a jerk, but you just had to get in your parting shot. I really hope the guys who run the league find their spines and enforce things better going forward. (Let me guess ... the general is on the board.)
The General is not on The Board. The League Commissioner did follow-up with me over the weekend and was very apologetic for The General's behavior and said he'd do what he could to have The Board speak to him, as well as see if he could transfer my son to another team. I told him thanks but that we've moved on and relayed how much I appreciated him following up and supporting us in our struggle with The General. He called and it sounds like The Commissioner has a history with The General going way back and is fully aware of how he operates.
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Old Today, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,771 posts, read 670,463 times
Reputation: 3138
It was nice that he called for a follow-up. Hope your boy has more fun in the new team. That's sad the general is probably making other kids miserable when they just want the have fun and participate with such young kids. I would think it would make the kids turn away in some cases instances rather than love the game.
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Old Today, 03:51 PM
 
628 posts, read 325,490 times
Reputation: 917
Ordinarily I would be in the "stick it out" camp, but here I have a real problem with the way the coach was treating the kids. I'm not going to force my kid take a bunch of yelling and assaults on his self esteem for an activity that is supposed to be fun. It's good to learn sticktoittiveness, but then there's also the lesson of learning when you don't have to take crap from people.

Glad it had a happy ending. If I am ever in the same boat, I think I would try switching my child to a different coach before I let him quit.
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