My gf and I want to have 4 or 5 children one day, any tips for us? (babies, parent)

[Coldjensens]

We have 5 including a set of twins. Once you are outnumbered (3 or more) it makes no difference.

As long as you have no qualms about accepting gifts, hand me downs and buying second hand items and clothing, it is not too bad. Make sure one of you has a really good job. The other should stay home.

Start saving for college right now. No joke. Go put $5 into 5 different bank accounts. Try to add $5 each week or month. Later try to add $100 a week or month. When you have a significant amount put it into an investment account.

Drive only used cars.

Bunk beds.

Get a lot of sleep now becuase you will nto get any later. Save some up.

Ignore books about how to raise kids.

Save your old baseball cards, or pokemoncards, video games whatever. As teens your kids will love this stuff.

Learn to pray

[Coldjensens]

For having enogh time with the kids, we have "Daddy day" Each kid gets a turn doing some all day thing alone with Daddy. It can be working at a soup kitchen, hiking, exploring new towns, go to the beach, museums, sporting events, anything as long as they get one on one time, they will love it. Start around age 3 or 4. It takes a year to cycle through five kids twice becuase you will nto always have time.

I let them choose the thing. I usually give them a half dozen or so choices but also accept their options as well. You have to put a limit on it though. When my daughter said her next Daddy day woudl be a trip to Las Vegas, we had to set some parameters.

If you stay home and your wife works outside the home, then it would have to be "Mommy day"

[Sampaguita]

Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja
Take it one kid at a time, and decide from there. Give each of you (you and her) permission to change your mind at any time about having any more kids. Be realistic about what each of you can handle, including money, patience, chores, time, work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja
While it is helpful to seek to learn from other parents, it is far more important to learn from your own experiences as a parent.

Wonderful Advice!

Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito

Wonderful Advice!

Ditto!

[delusianne]

Both of you should go back to school and get degrees before you have Child One. You can't imagine how important this is going to be.

[5FLgirls]

Originally Posted by faina00

Why even have 4 or 5 kids? I never understand the reasoning. Why not have less kids and give them a higher quality of life?

Honestly, we have one child, who we send to private school, goes on international trips several times a year, has all the opportunities life can offer! People tell us we should have more, we say why? I would rather have less children and give them more than have more children...to me again its a whats with the quantity of family that people are obsessed with, rather than quality of family!?

I think it's great that you offer your child such great opportunities in life. Despite having four children, we also give them exactly the same options--travel, activities, and private school with no problems. We don't obsess on quantity of family rather quality. I feel as if everyone's being grouped into one category with your post. There are lots of large families that work hard to budget their money--sadly, they are perceived negatively as if this is some sacrifice. I don't think they would trade their large family for all the money, travel or private schools in the world. I wanted a big family and I'm really glad that I have one. The norm today is not to have an "only" like you do and that's why everyone asks if you want more. But not everyone lives up to the "norm"--this is what works best for your family. What works best for my family is four.

[djf863000]

My parents only made around 1000 to 1200 dollars per month when I was in my teens (in the 90s). and that was combine. They were able to raise both my sister and I without going under. And we both musical lessons and sports. Plus I went to high school 45miles away from home and came home every day.

Right now i am use to have just short sleep. I sleep maybe 3hrs per night and 3hrs if i am lucky in the afternoon. I been doing that for nearly 2 years now. Reasons? my 2 jobs being at 2 opposite hours of the day. Anyway when I move i will find a more regular job that pays.

I already have a good education, but i felt i did it for nothing as i have yet found a job in that field. Though living in the wrong city played a bad part in it. At least health care is free up here or close to it.

My girlfriend and I are already saving for our wedding. We already have enough for a big wedding and the honeymoon, depending where we are going, but i am sure don't need a huge wedding, which still will give us a good saving start once married.

[Humboldt1]

Dude,

What do you do that you make only 25k a year with two jobs and an education? High school or even junior college isn't going to cut it unless you want to be permanently part of the underclass, especially with all the kids you are proposing.

And, again credit cards are good so long as you pay them off every month. I only use 3-4k per month but have limits of +50k per card (I only carry 3). This allows me access to cash that I don't use thus increasing my credit score.

Again, I pay a lot of taxes and don't want to be supporting people who can't financially provide for their family.

You don't have to be as focused on money as a 30 year old single corporate banker but please plan so that you are able to meet your bill obligations without relying upon tax payers such as myself to foot the bill.

[djf863000]

What i am doing is 2 part time jobs and those are not even in the field i studied at school. I was in College for 3 years. I have a degree in IT and in accounting.

My past problems for not find a job was 1. I didn't have enough experience in some jobs. and 2. I had too much education to be hired in other jobs, they think i might not stay long, so they don't even bother. That is my life. it is vicious circle. Now i got experience in fields that isn't my own field.

Right now isn't a good time to get a loan for college. and have to pay it back for the next 15yrs or more.

[5FLgirls]

My girlfriend and I are already saving for our wedding. We already have enough for a big wedding and the honeymoon, depending where we are going, but i am sure don't need a huge wedding, which still will give us a good saving start once married.

A piece of unsolicited advice -- don't waste your money on a big or huge wedding. My greatest regret is my big wedding. I wish I had spent $5K on a small wedding and not the amount we eventually spent (which, at the time, was more money than my husband made in a year). We had a great time at our wedding, enjoyed seeing our friends and family and partying but really really really wish my mom had just given us the cash and we could have invested it or saved it. I think it's great that you're saving it yourselves but PLEASE -- especially if you want a large family -- don't spend a bunch on a wedding.

[wanderintonc]

Originally Posted by faina00

Why even have 4 or 5 kids? I never understand the reasoning. Why not have less kids and give them a higher quality of life?

And there is nothing wrong with credit cards, its not paying them off that gets you in trouble.

We use credit cards for as much as we can, but we never ever carry a balance. We pay them off 100% every month. This accrues us miles, points, etc and we end up getting several free flights each year and the 3 of us go on 6-8 vacations a year! If you use them to your advantage, credit cards are great!

Honestly, we have one child, who we send to private school, goes on international trips several times a year, has all the opportunities life can offer! People tell us we should have more, we say why? I would rather have less children and give them more than have more children...to me again its a whats with the quantity of family that people are obsessed with, rather than quality of family!?

Well, for my family-we have both quantity and quality. I would never tell anyone with just one child, to have more (unless my opinion was directly solicited) but then, don't tell ME I have too many. It's not too many to me.

BTW, mid-sized and larger families can also travel and send the kids to good schools. I don't travel internationally, but would not if I only had one child-it's not what I enjoy. We do all have passports and may visit Canada this year. They go to a variety (magnet, technical, regular) of public schools. We recently spent the day in NYC, seeing a play and sights. So it's not like large families spend all their time in the house doing laundry...we have a very full life. Every child has an activity (theater, guitar, drums, cello).

We ain't missing a thing : ) I do indeed budget. I'm not ashamed to say I shop sales and bargain grocery stores. My kids are not label concious and are happy with clothes from Walmart and JCPenneys. They think expensive clothes are silly-I've taught them well!