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Old 01-31-2019, 02:26 PM
 
Location: DFW/Texas
750 posts, read 654,048 times
Reputation: 2454

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OP, I don't know if this has been pointed out yet (I only read up to page 4 or so) but don't forget that the BF's mom, the one you can't stand and vow to never deal with, is also a pending grandmother. Just. Like. You. HER son just knocked up his 18-year old girlfriend and now is going to have to deal with the pressures of supporting the baby because if he doesn't, he'll be in a world of s%^t. If the young couple chooses to keep the baby, you are going to be connected to this family FOREVER.



Trust me, I get it. I'd probably fly off the handle, too, if I were in your situation. It's going to take a lot of pride-swallowing and crow-eating, but I think your best bet is to try to put on a brave face and be there for your daughter, period. You know as well as I do that children disappoint you at times in life but that being a loyal MOTHER means never turning your back on them, regardless of how stupid their mistakes are.



Good luck.
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Old 02-01-2019, 01:49 PM
 
2,550 posts, read 1,812,562 times
Reputation: 4418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chawkins803 View Post
Bad egg she might be...for now, but even bad eggs can turn out good. I got the elders in my family working on this, and let me tell, you, it is turning around.
A few facts of life, here:


Bad eggs never go "good." So, don't get too too optimistic. She is young though, we really don't know for sure if, in fact she's indeed, a bad egg. Stuff that went on prior to now usually reveals that. Girls gone hormonal can do stuff like this, and not be a "bad egg."


One thing for sure is that this is not going to resolve over night. She may have to take a few turns for the worse (nothing you can change) before she comes around.


Just be ready to be there for moral support if (and only if) she requests that.
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Old Today, 05:02 AM
 
Location: SC
47 posts, read 16,258 times
Reputation: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berrie143 View Post
OP, I don't know if this has been pointed out yet (I only read up to page 4 or so) but don't forget that the BF's mom, the one you can't stand and vow to never deal with, is also a pending grandmother. Just. Like. You. HER son just knocked up his 18-year old girlfriend and now is going to have to deal with the pressures of supporting the baby because if he doesn't, he'll be in a world of s%^t. If the young couple chooses to keep the baby, you are going to be connected to this family FOREVER.



Trust me, I get it. I'd probably fly off the handle, too, if I were in your situation. It's going to take a lot of pride-swallowing and crow-eating, but I think your best bet is to try to put on a brave face and be there for your daughter, period. You know as well as I do that children disappoint you at times in life but that being a loyal MOTHER means never turning your back on them, regardless of how stupid their mistakes are.



Good luck.
Loyal mother? Yes, I was that. Am I asking too much to ask for a loyal daughter? I raised this child from birth and truth be told I loved her too much. After my divorce, I gave her more attention than my son because she required more than him. I neglected some areas of raising him because I saw some things in her, that I tried to fix. Like I even saw that early on she was boy crazy and I tried spending more time with developing her. Yet I feel like I STILL failed. The lesson I am learning is that never put the love of any human before GOD. I dreamed of having this perfect mother-daughter relationship that was going to be so unbreakable. Only to find out that she only wants the love of a boy she has known for barely two years instead.

But all is not lost. What I discovered and really always knew, is that I have a loving loyal son that has always loved, cared and appreciated the love I gave him. He gets me. He gets loyalty, he gets family. His computer screen saver is a picture of me holding him as a kid. The connection I have with him now is amazing.

I have not given up on my daughter, but I have let her go for now. I want her to be with this BF and his family and REALLY figure out if this is where she needs to be in life. I told her I have accepted her decision to choose this path. She recently blew up on me because she did not understand what I meant by acceptance. She asked me for money and when I told her that my acceptance did not mean money and that she could no longer get money unless she was working or was in school, she sent me the meanest, nastiest text, about how she wanted nothing to do with me, that I won't be seeing the baby and that I had lost her as a daughter.

So I am done. She blocked me She blocked her brother on social media and she won't answer my mothers' calls. Honestly, this is a good thing. She is so willing to throw her family away, then I am willing to set her free because that is how very much I love her.
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