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Old Yesterday, 06:49 PM
 
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What do the children need to do in order to earn a star?
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Old Yesterday, 07:29 PM
 
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Talk to the director of the school and tell him/her what you're concerned about and why. Depending on his/her response, decide whether to leave your son there or not.
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Old Yesterday, 08:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ccc123 View Post
What do the children need to do in order to earn a star?
So, my husband and I are just now somewhat understanding the rewards system. I'm actually going to request they break it down to me in writing on Monday so I can take a better look at it. It's a little confusing to me when they tried to explain verbally so how they expect 4 year old to know and remember this is beyond me, but they claim each kid understands.

So everyday a child can earn up to 3 stars. They earn the stars during circle time, nap time, and play centers ( I think thats the 3rd one). If they do something wrong or disruptive during one of these times a star gets taken away. So for instance, the teacher said if a child talks during nap time, they loose a star. This happened with my son. So a child can earn up to 15 starts in a week and I think there are some bonus stars.

On Friday at the end of the day, the teacher sits the kids down and calls out the kids names one by one and announces how many stars each got. At that point, I think they are able to choose a prize:

0-8 stars = no prize
9-12 = sticker or toy (I believe)
13-15 = candy
20+ = some big prize

The teacher mentioned to me something about big prizes for kids who got 20 stars. When I picked my son up on Friday, he was upset as I mentioned and the teacher told me he only got 8 stars, so no prize for him. That's when I said, "where is the box?, he will get a sticker." It seems like they are focused more on negative behavior instead of rewarding for positive behaviors. Please tell me how a 4 year old is supposed to remember all this during the week and on Friday be able to know what happed M-Th? There is no chart of visual of the stars in the classroom. There was nothing sent out to parents even explaining how the rewards system works.

Last edited by rere900; Yesterday at 08:18 PM.. Reason: Added more info
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Old Yesterday, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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Reward systems are used all the time, and were used when I was in preschool in the 70s. My kids had red, green and yellow tags posted on a chart that looked like a thermometer. They all started with green tags in the top zone but if you misbehaved during the day you had to go over and move your tag to yellow or red.

The only problem I have with this system is the one-at-a-time approach at the end of the day. It places a ton of expectation on the reveal, and it does involve humiliation in front of the group.

My point is that 4-year-olds can learn systems like this. I'm just not sure this is a good system for him to be part of.

Regardless, it's not cool for you to override the rules and get him a prize when he hadn't earned one. You could have waited and gotten him something once you left the school.
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Old Yesterday, 08:28 PM
 
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I'm a schoolteacher, and will share my educated and experienced-based opinion that there shouldn't be so much emphasis on rewards and consequences at the preschool level. Not that there shouldn't be any, but it shouldn't be so rigid and emphasized to the degree that you have described.

In your shoes, I would find my son a different school. Complaining to them about the nature of their discipline system is unlikely to bring the comprehensive changes you want in your child's preschool environment. They've developed a system, so they're probably going to want to stick with it. That system says a lot about their educational values, as well, and those aren't going to change.
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Old Yesterday, 08:32 PM
 
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Is this a preschool or day care? Meaning you said at the "end of the day". Curious if child is there most of the day, etc...
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Old Yesterday, 08:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
Is this a preschool or day care? Meaning you said at the "end of the day". Curious if child is there most of the day, etc...
It's a daycare/pre-school, so it goes from infant to 5/6 years old. He is there from 8am-4pm. We are paying $1,200 per month for him to attend, so it's about the same cost as a private elementary school in our area. They don't have to change the rules, but I will give my opinion on Monday to the director. My son has been in 3 previous classrooms and no other system like this was in place. I think this was done solely by these two teachers. I'm fine with having a rewards system but I think this one needs some changes to it; more simplified.

I agree with a previous posted that it can be humiliating for the kids that get zero prizes. My son was so upset, he could not even talk when I picked him up. I spent the next two hours at home trying to calm him down and all he could say was that he didn't get a star. I mean this is not something I want or him to go through every week or every other week. At his age he should be enjoying pre-school; playing and socializing with his peers and not be apprehensive or feel so much pressure to perform. The other thing is when I do pick him up, I ask every-single-day, how was J today? And they always tell me he had a good day, no issues. So now when Friday comes, it's a complete 180.
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Old Yesterday, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rere900 View Post

At his age he should be enjoying pre-school; playing and socializing with his peers and not be apprehensive or feel so much pressure to perform.
To be fair, he's not being "pressured to perform." He's being asked to conform to the rules and procedures of the class, and he obviously didn't do that. He's being asked to behave.

Did you ask the teachers what he had done to lose the star? With positive reinforcement from you ("Well, I guess you won't talk during naptime again, huh?") and then simply moving on, he may never have this problem in there again.

It still would be worth your while to discuss with the teachers the idea that getting (or not getting) the prize in front of the class could be changed while keeping the general point of the star system. This is the equivalent of a teacher reading out older kids' test grades while passing them back after grading.
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Old Yesterday, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Texas
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I agree the reward system seems odd.

I disagree that a 4 year old can't catch on to it or be held responsible for his behavior.
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Old Yesterday, 09:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
To be fair, he's not being "pressured to perform." He's being asked to conform to the rules and procedures of the class, and he obviously didn't do that. He's being asked to behave.

Did you ask the teachers what he had done to lose the star? With positive reinforcement from you ("Well, I guess you won't talk during naptime again, huh?") and then simply moving on, he may never have this problem in there again.

It still would be worth your while to discuss with the teachers the idea that getting (or not getting) the prize in front of the class could be changed while keeping the general point of the star system. This is the equivalent of a teacher reading out older kids' test grades while passing them back after grading.
Do you have kids? My son is four and has grown out of naps. For me if he's talking to himself in a low voice or whisper then I don't think I need to make him feel like he is doing something wrong or trying to correct that. I can tell him to be silent, not move, or get up during 2 hour naps, but he is a 4 year old, active, child. What is the expectation here?? Does that mean he is misbehaving?? The school has set aside 2 hours for kids to nap and ones his age most of them do not fall asleep. They have cameras where we can log in and watch. They play music in the class to drown out some of the background noise.
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