U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-26-2019, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
40,579 posts, read 39,228,671 times
Reputation: 77039

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by rere900 View Post
Do you have kids? My son is four and has grown out of naps. For me if he's talking to himself in a low voice or whisper then I don't think I need to make him feel like he is doing something wrong or trying to correct that. I can tell him to be silent, not move, or get up during 2 hour naps, but he is a 4 year old, active, child. What is the expectation here?? Does that mean he is misbehaving?? The school has set aside 2 hours for kids to nap and ones his age most of them do not fall asleep. They have cameras where we can log in and watch. They play music in the class to drown out some of the background noise.
I have three sons. I've been through all this and more.

If they're setting aside 2 hours for naps, then you need a new day care.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-26-2019, 09:27 PM
 
Location: California
30,015 posts, read 32,547,033 times
Reputation: 25399
You could tell him you think it's a silly system and buy him some stickers yourself if you want to. Maybe it's better for him not to care so much about it, you can teach him that and will serve him well in life.

I disagreed occasionally with whatever was going on in my kids classrooms and let them know that just because someone is a teacher doesn't mean they can't be wrong about things sometimes. Then I told them what the right thing was, according to me
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-26-2019, 09:47 PM
 
Location: here
24,758 posts, read 29,302,525 times
Reputation: 31913
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I have three sons. I've been through all this and more.

If they're setting aside 2 hours for naps, then you need a new day care.
Nap times are mandated. I doubt that would be any different at a different center. The problem isn't the nap. The problem is rewarding kids who still nap and penalizing kids who don't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-26-2019, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
40,579 posts, read 39,228,671 times
Reputation: 77039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post

Nap times are mandated.
And those mandates vary by state.

I would discuss the policy with the day care director, OP, and then call around to see if there are day cares that have a "quiet time" option instead of dead-silent nap time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-26-2019, 10:02 PM
 
Location: here
24,758 posts, read 29,302,525 times
Reputation: 31913
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
And those mandates vary by state.

I would discuss the policy with the day care director, OP, and then call around to see if there are day cares that have a "quiet time" option instead of dead-silent nap time.
Can't hurt to ask, I guess, but the rules would be the same throughout the state.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-26-2019, 11:22 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,807 posts, read 1,358,299 times
Reputation: 8426
The problem with their system, is that they are awarding stars - which is a reward for good behavior - BUT THEN they are negating the good behavior that was displayed by insisting the child has to have more than eight to get a measly sticker!

That would be so confusing to a child. They might think: "I was good eight times - I got eight stars, but then I must have been bad because I didn't get a prize."

Very illogical.

If you can put him in a Waldorf or Montessori school or something like that - at least a FUN day care, that would be preferable.

I would be so upset if I saw my child crying in the middle of the room with no one comforting him!

Terrible! We're the teachers just fine with that? They're traumatizing him and teaching him really twisted values (not sure what, but something weird from the sheer lack of logic).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 12:37 AM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,100 posts, read 3,086,087 times
Reputation: 12399
Quote:
Originally Posted by rere900 View Post
Does that mean he is misbehaving??
If he was noisy or distracting while other kids were napping, yes.

IMO their reward system is suboptimal in several ways, but your reaction wasn't better. You sent a message that moping/whining gets you what you want regardless of whether you earned it.

Better to send him to a preschool that's more closely aligned with your own parenting approach than to undermine an alternative approach.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 07:25 AM
 
203 posts, read 362,432 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
You could tell him you think it's a silly system and buy him some stickers yourself if you want to. Maybe it's better for him not to care so much about it, you can teach him that and will serve him well in life.

I disagreed occasionally with whatever was going on in my kids classrooms and let them know that just because someone is a teacher doesn't mean they can't be wrong about things sometimes. Then I told them what the right thing was, according to me
I like this idea. Once I speak with the director, I'll decide if I go in this direction.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 07:26 AM
 
203 posts, read 362,432 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
The problem with their system, is that they are awarding stars - which is a reward for good behavior - BUT THEN they are negating the good behavior that was displayed by insisting the child has to have more than eight to get a measly sticker!

That would be so confusing to a child. They might think: "I was good eight times - I got eight stars, but then I must have been bad because I didn't get a prize."

Very illogical.

If you can put him in a Waldorf or Montessori school or something like that - at least a FUN day care, that would be preferable.

I would be so upset if I saw my child crying in the middle of the room with no one comforting him!

Terrible! We're the teachers just fine with that? They're traumatizing him and teaching him really twisted values (not sure what, but something weird from the sheer lack of logic).
I agree with everything you have said here!!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 08:23 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,409 posts, read 18,085,155 times
Reputation: 23342
yes I think you and the day care director need to sit down and talk about this and if you get no results then you should look for another day care and interview them thoroughly and I mean intensely . Humiliation does not teach kids anything but how to hate some things and people .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top