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Old 01-25-2019, 10:36 PM
 
200 posts, read 361,291 times
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My son just turned 4 years old and has recently moved to the 4 year old class at his preschool Jan 1st. I picked him up from school today and when I walked into the class I saw him sitting in the middle of the carpet, while other kids were in centers playing, and he was crying. I picked him up and asked what was wrong and he could not speak because of the tears. I went to the teacher and she told me that he did not gain enough stars for the week and so he was denied a prize out the box.

Now the past couple of weeks, they would vaguely mention to me about him gaining stars, but I never asked about specific details. Also, they always tell me he had a good day and never mention behavior problems. Apparently the kids gain stars daily and on Fridays depending on how many stars they have, they are able to pick a prize out of a box. If they have 8 stars or less (I believe) then they get nothing. So my son had 8 stars for doing good things, but still was not able to get the minimum prize which is a sticker. The next highest amount of stars is a toy and the highest is a piece of candy.

At that moment, I asked the teacher to get the box and I told my son to pick out a sticker. The other teacher comes over to me and tries to explain the "rules" to me about the rewards system. It was so confusing to me, I don't know how 4 year old would even be able to comprehend or understand it. Does my son even know why he can't get a prize? He can't even remember events 2 hours ago, let alone 5 days ago. I want to sit down with the teacher again, for better explanation, but I'm also tempted to say that unless my son is knowingly causing harm to others, throwing toys or other things, or just outright not listening, then I want him to be able to get a prize at the end of the week for the stars he did gain, wether it's one or 20. My husband is more upset that they left my son crying by himself and not consoling him. They make the prize box a big production and get up one by one until the kids with no prize are left.

His teacher also gives the kids 2-3 sheets of homework weekly, which is more than some kindergarten classes. These kids are 4 year olds and I think the expectations from the teachers using this system is too much. Thoughts please?
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Old 01-25-2019, 11:08 PM
 
Location: Teach an Fhir Bholg
12,104 posts, read 13,457,835 times
Reputation: 32644
Quote:
Originally Posted by rere900 View Post
....His teacher also gives the kids 2-3 sheets of homework weekly, which is more than some kindergarten classes. These kids are 4 year olds and I think the expectations from the teachers using this system is too much. Thoughts please?

Your child is four years old, time to play! The reward system at that age sucks. Your child will be taught that winning and money are the supreme goods in life later, give the poor kid a break.

I would look for a more loosely structured play school for your child.
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Old Yesterday, 12:45 AM
 
Location: here
24,755 posts, read 29,297,063 times
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You're right. That's a stupid system. Kids that age can't relate the good they did yesterday to the prize they are getting today; and 4 year olds should not have homework. I'd talk to the director about both of these things.
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Old Yesterday, 05:08 PM
Status: "waiting for God," I am female" (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,770 posts, read 1,946,490 times
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If this is a private pre school it is time to find a new one, and interview them well.
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Old Yesterday, 05:36 PM
 
10,304 posts, read 7,941,292 times
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The people running this school have chit for brains. Get your kid out of that school today.

Both my daughters are in the pre school business and have been for 25 years. Their very own kids were never subjected to such a competitive environment.

Check out Reggio Emilia schools in your town. It makes good people and good citizens.

My family enjoys the result. Near perfect SATs and full ride college scholarships. And competent kids. They know very early on that they can resolve differences in their group.
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Old Yesterday, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
40,555 posts, read 39,214,233 times
Reputation: 76999
It may be a stupid system but you shouldn’t have told him to get a sticker out of the box.
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Old Yesterday, 05:43 PM
 
1,664 posts, read 596,151 times
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"Thoughts please?"
three, here goes:

1. find him another school.
2. this time, do your research.
3. your choice; know before he goes.
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Old Yesterday, 05:43 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,759 posts, read 29,699,356 times
Reputation: 21981
I reallythink you are underestimating your sons capabilities. Four year olds are capable of a lot. Teaching him that there are consequences is nota bad thing but I will say that the rules ofengagement seem pretty vague and convoluted. Maybe simplifying the system is in order.
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Old Yesterday, 06:08 PM
 
7,913 posts, read 3,118,044 times
Reputation: 20732
I would be interested in knowing what they have to do to get stars. It seems all the other kids knew; your son was new in the class and maybe hadn't had a chance to learn how to earn them?

It's not the prize or the sticker that bothered him; it's the humiliation.

If they had, say, 3 kids out of 8 whose behavior earned them a prize, that would be very motivating for the others and not humiliating.

To single one child, who is brand new to the class, just seems like they don't know what they're doing.
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Old Yesterday, 06:32 PM
 
6,142 posts, read 3,285,569 times
Reputation: 16244
I'm not sure where I fall on this because I'm not one for giving prizes for routine behavior. But it's not clear what it takes to earn a star. If it's something within the grasp of a 4 year old, so long as the rules are consistent, then OK. Are the rules something a 4 year old can grasp?
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