Co-sleeping. Why?

[CGab]

Originally Posted by chiluvr1228

My first was colicky and didn't sleep through the night till he was almost 10. He was always coming in our bed every single night. In his case co-sleeping probably would have given us all a lot more sleep. My second slept through the night at 6 weeks old. They both stayed in our bedroom the first few weeks in a bassinet. I also can't imagine co-sleeping is healthy on the marriage and sex life.

My younger son had an acquaintance who rolled over in her sleep and suffocated her firstborn. She's lived with a lot of guilt ever since.

Co-sleeping is not healthy for anyone and is quite dangerous! It's one thing having the child in the same room, but actual co-sleeping is dangerous period! As other have said, it also brings on extreme attachment by the child. My friend did co-sleeping and their child wouldn't go near anyone else and at the age of 7 still won't sleep in their own bed. That is not a good thing!

[Sweet Like Sugar]

Originally Posted by yellowsnow

Have never done this but have heard it is a marriage killer. The husband who usually has to go to work every day, can't get any sleep unless he sleeps elsewhere. Also seems to be a hard habit to break.

Oh, how sad for the husband. What about all of the wives who also have to work fulltime and still lose countless hours of sleep every night tending to their children even in non-cosleeping situations?

[JONOV]

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

Oh, how sad for the husband. What about all of the wives who also have to work fulltime and still lose countless hours of sleep every night tending to their children even in non-cosleeping situations?

What about them? The fact remains that there is less room in the bed, more apprehension about getting up and moving, less private time between the couple.

Its the husband that (in the theoretical case you quoted) decides that its more important that he tends to his own needs and his wife that puts her marriage and husband second for reasons that the husband is probably not on board with (namely that the baby needs to sleep in a crib/bassinet/whatever.) Both the husband and the wife have a duty to the family and the marriage that remains after the baby. I've seen more than one couple that's deteriorated because the marriage ceases to be a priority and children are elevated to a saint-like importance.

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by otterhere

Can someone explain co-sleeping to me? I have a friend who is CONSTANTLY complaining that she can't sleep at night because her 18-month-old keeps doing this, that, and the other thing to keep her awake or wake her up; I think the husband sleeps elsewhere. Whatever happened to putting a baby to bed for the night (with feedings) in its own crib in its own room at birth or certainly by this age? Seems crazy to me!

Also not great for the marriage.

It's a good indicator of a future helicopter parent.



My sister-in-law and her husband did this with their youngest and he is STILL sleeping with them at age 11.



We put our kids in the crib in a separate room as newborns. Otherwise we would have never gotten any sleep.

[arwenmark]

You know I never really thought about this, but when I was a child there were my mother and father and one sister and me. it was a two bedroom house one room very small. Both my sister, [seven years older than me] and my mother slept in one full size bed and my father slept in the small room until my sister moved out when I was about 11 at which point I moved into the small room.
I do remember that when I was a baby I was in a crib, an Iron one in the same room of course. then moved to the above arrangement, it never seems odd to me, just the way it was. I never became overly clingy to my parents.
So I guess we were co-sleepers though I didn't know that then.

[Riley09swb]

Originally Posted by MinivanDriver

It's a good indicator of a future helicopter parent.



My sister-in-law and her husband did this with their youngest and he is STILL sleeping with them at age 11.



We put our kids in the crib in a separate room as newborns. Otherwise we would have never gotten any sleep.

I think it really depends on the child. I think in some kids they never learn to self soothe. I have a friend that co-slept with both of her kids and neither one of them are good sleepers at 5 and 10. They both had and still have some health issues. Not sure if those contribute but it is what is. She thought she was doing what was best at the time.

My son has the one of the same issues her son does and it does cause them to be up later and have a hard time shutting of the brain. We just handled it in different ways. When my son was around 3, he went to sleep on the couch downstairs with us every night. It was the only way we could get him to not get out of bed at bedtime. My husband would carry him upstairs after he was asleep every night. He would get up at different times in the night. 3 was hard age because of that. Now he's 11 and he goes to bed at his bedtime without issue. He doesn't have to go to sleep but he does need to go upstairs and start unwinding.

[Rastafellow]

Originally Posted by MinivanDriver

It's a good indicator of a future helicopter parent.



My sister-in-law and her husband did this with their youngest and he is STILL sleeping with them at age 11.



We put our kids in the crib in a separate room as newborns. Otherwise we would have never gotten any sleep.

No wonder so my kids in this county have mental shortcomings and are overly dependent on scripts.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

Originally Posted by VexedAndSolitary

Yes one of my undergrad degrees is in cultural anthro. I am well aware of this.

There are reasons this is so in other cultures that do not apply to Western middle class societies.

When a Mommy blogger type does it the reasons are likely far different and far sicker (selfcenteredness, lack of boundaries, attention seeking "look at me! I still nurse! I'm so progressive and cool Let me make a blog post about it!".) etc.

My sister doesn't post about it or discuss it. I only know because I recommended a supplement to her and she had to look it up to see if it passed through breast milk. Her son is an extremely picky eater and underweight for his age, so she continued breastfeeding so that she could be sure he was still getting some of the nutrition he needed.

[Ginge McFantaPants]

Originally Posted by CGab

Co-sleeping is not healthy for anyone and is quite dangerous! It's one thing having the child in the same room, but actual co-sleeping is dangerous period! As other have said, it also brings on extreme attachment by the child. My friend did co-sleeping and their child wouldn't go near anyone else and at the age of 7 still won't sleep in their own bed. That is not a good thing!

You’re conflating co-sleeping and bed-sharing. Bed-sharing is one method of co-sleeping arrangement. Co-sleeping is a general term for the child sleeping in close proximity to the parents, which may or may not entail bed-sharing. A bassinet or crib in the same room, a small cot, or a side-car that attaches to the bed are all co-sleeping methods.

IDK, it was a pleasant experience for my family. There were no bedtime struggles or drawn-out elaborate bedtime routines; we all just climbed in bed (we parents in the main bed, baby in either the side car or the crib) and got the sleep we needed. The only time my husband ever slept on the couch was if a baby was up all night from teething or sickness.

[saibot]

Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants

IDK, it was a pleasant experience for my family. There were no bedtime struggles or drawn-out elaborate bedtime routines; we all just climbed in bed (we parents in the main bed, baby in either the side car or the crib) and got the sleep we needed.

Did you all go to bed at the same time every night? What about naps? I wonder about this with co-sleeping or bed-sharing. Do you have to lie down and sleep every time the baby sleeps, or what happens if you plan to stay up late and try to put the baby down earlier?