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My 13 year old son lives with his dad who has primary custody and I get him every other weekend. His dad has remarried and has been with his wife for 5 years. I found out my son has been bullying a special needs kid at school with a speech impediment. He got in school suspension for 3 days and when he came home from school, his stepmother spanked him. It was with her hand and there's no bruising but he told me it hurt a lot and I'm ****ing pissed. She also made him write an apology letter to the student and grounded him for 2 weeks with no electronics. His father works long hours so his stepmom feels entitled because she's a stay at home wife and she's with him more but it's not okay.
I'm very upset at what my son did and he absolutely deserved to be punished but this woman had no right to touch my kid. His father supports what she did and gave her permission and I'm ready to raise hell. I need her to learn her place as a stepparent NOT a parent.
I'm not going to read all 14 pages since I'm already livid at a couple comments on the 1st one so I'll say my piece and leave it at that.
This woman is co-parenting your child. She is not a NON parent as someone else said. She came into his life at age 8 and his primary home is hers and it sounds like she's around the most of all of you. You obviously gave birth but your child has 3 parents. She's not some low ranking babysitter or housekeeper. Personal feelings about spanking aside, of course he told you it hurt a lot. He's a 13 year old that did a tremendously crappy thing and what better way to deflect that than to get Mom pissed at Stepmom for the punishment and then the crime becomes a trivial detail. I'm going to take a wild guess and say this isn't the first time and he knows damn well how to push your buttons when it comes to this so it won't be the last time. Unless you've actually talked to her I'm betting you don't even have the whole story because no one knows how to game better than a teenage kid who finds out he can pit the parents against each other and he's playing you like a saxaphone.
All of you, who are anti a little occasional swat on the behind, probably wonder why so many kids are taking guns into schools today and slaughtering other kids. All of this mamby pamby weak ass parenting has created a whole generation of kids who do not know right from wrong.
I was spanked when I deserved it, so were my two sons, and all of us turned out to be productive, honest, kind human beings with no mental scars to show for it. I knew when I got spanked I deserved it, and that it was done because I was loved.
In addition to being a bully, I suspect your son is also manipulative and knew exactly what it was cause when he ran to tell you his stepmom punished him.
I'm sure her snowflake is perfect in every way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
No a step parent has zero rights to make decisions about a child’s welfare or discipline a child. Zilch, zero. none...
She's got more of a role in his upbringing than the biological mom. At this point she's pretty active in his upbringing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffypoopoo
As a kid, if my shenanigans caused another woman that wasn't my mom to hit me as discipline....then I'd get whooped at home again a second time from my mom.
Same here. I bet you're not a little ******* because of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945
All of you, who are anti a little occasional swat on the behind, probably wonder why so many kids are taking guns into schools today and slaughtering other kids. All of this mamby weak ass parenting has created a whole generation of kids who do not know right from wrong.
I was spanked when I deserved it, so were my two sons, and all of us turned out to be productive, honest, kind human beings with no mental scars to show for it. I knew when I got spanked I deserved it, and that it was done because I was loved.
Exactly. You can spot those little ****s who were never disciplined from a mile away even when they're adults.
All of you, who are anti a little occasional swat on the behind, probably wonder why so many kids are taking guns into schools today and slaughtering other kids. All of this mamby pamby weak ass parenting has created a whole generation of kids who do not know right from wrong.
I was spanked when I deserved it, so were my two sons, and all of us turned out to be productive, honest, kind human beings with no mental scars to show for it. I knew when I got spanked I deserved it, and that it was done because I was loved.
I was never spanked as a child and turned out the same.
The issue here is not a parent spanking his or her son. The issue here is a non parent a person not genetically related to the kid spanking him. If the father did it it would be a different story although the mother would still have a right to be upset and demand that it not happen again. If you put your hands on my child not in self defense and you are not his mother I am going to have a massive problem with it. Keep your ****ing hands to yourself.
I disagree, the stepmother is the one that is parenting the child for the past 5 years, almost full time, while the OP only has him every other weekend. How is the stepmother supposed to raise a child that is not hers biologically but is with her 90% of the time. She has to act as she sees fit, as long as she is not abusing the boy. Per OP, the boy was spanked. This is not abuse.
If the OP doesn't like it, she can request custody of her son. Believe me, raising someone else's children is not easy, specially as they reach adolescence. And if you have the bio-mom questioning the stepmother's methods, that is also not easy.
I think OP that your issue is that your son, whom you have NOT been raising since he was 8 years old and see only every other weekend, was disciplined by his fathers current wife, who is primarily raising him. That is the issue I think is bothering you and which you need to explore.
Spanking is very much illegal in some states. My ex would get jail time because he specifically signed an agreement the last time with the judge, that he would never do it again. And if he did, he would go to jail the next time.
Just because you want it to be ok, doesn’t make it right. spanking is child abuse. Prosecutable in many states.
No, actually, it is not. It is legal in all 50 states to spank a child. Corporal punishment in schools may be banned but not spanking per se.
Just as a biological parent who has custody and control over a child has the right to discipline a child in a reasonable manner, so too does a stepparent who stands in loco parentis to a child have the right to discipline a child in a reasonable manner. SeeMargaret M. Mahoney, Stepfamilies and the Law194-99 (1994).
This right is spelled out in many state statutes. For example, Ga. Code Ann. 16-3-20(3) (1992) provides:
The fact that a person's conduct is justified is a defense to prosecution for any crime based on that conduct. The defense of justification can be claimed . . . [w]hen the person's conduct is the reasonable discipline of a minor by his parent or a person in loco parentis.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
Spanking is very much illegal in some states. My ex would get jail time because he specifically signed an agreement the last time with the judge, that he would never do it again. And if he did, he would go to jail the next time.
Just because you want it to be ok, doesn’t make it right. spanking is child abuse. Prosecutable in many states.
Ok, wait. That's COMPLETELY different.
Your ex was in court, and the judge ordered him to quit beating kids.
That's different from the claim that spanking is illegal in a state - your ex was before a judge, and was told to cut it out. Meaning, it was a serious problem with him.
But yes, in general, I disagree with spanking. Sounds like your ex was in court because he took it way too far.
Your ex was in court, and the judge ordered him to quit beating kids.
That's different from the claim that spanking is illegal in a state - your ex was before a judge, and was told to cut it out. Meaning, it was a serious problem with him.
But yes, in general, I disagree with spanking. Sounds like your ex was in court because he took it way too far.
I'm pretty sure this is the same ex that LOL claimed that he tried to kill her. I would assume perhaps DV was already a problem and that she brought this up during the divorce proceedings. Not to mention, she also stated he's mentally ill. So it is a vastly different situation from the OP.
I was never spanked as a child and turned out the same.
Neither was I, BUT my parents made it clear that spanking was always an option if my brothers and I wanted to be stupid and push the envelope that far over the line.
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