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Old Yesterday, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,851 posts, read 44,205,655 times
Reputation: 19945

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Quote:
Originally Posted by john620 View Post
The issue here is not a parent spanking his or her son. The issue here is a non parent a person not genetically related to the kid spanking him. If the father did it it would be a different story although the mother would still have a right to be upset and demand that it not happen again. If you put your hands on my child not in self defense and you are not his mother I am going to have a massive problem with it. Keep your ****ing hands to yourself.
Exactly. Unless the biological mother was dead or 100% absent, she still has a say in how her child is raised... and the LAST one in this equation who should be making the decisions is the step-parent. Grounding or taking away possessions/privileges is one thing, but I would never lay my hands on a child who wasn't actually mine. That's just not okay, and one of the reasons they no longer allow corporal punishment in public schools.

I also think 13 is too old for this sort of punishment - almost creepy, as someone else mentioned earlier. At that age, taking away their "devices" would probably have more impact.
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Old Yesterday, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,851 posts, read 44,205,655 times
Reputation: 19945
Quote:
Originally Posted by raggedjim View Post
You must be special, I wasn't. I only got spanked once, (which I didn't really deserve, I mean, anyone could accidentally set fire to a gas station...). I never did it again...
Haha... but no, I was definitely not "special." I was a good kid, but an absolutely horrible teenager! Somehow I got through it okay, though, and turned out just fine in the end.
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Old Yesterday, 05:42 PM
 
7,289 posts, read 12,901,723 times
Reputation: 8678
Quote:
Originally Posted by john620 View Post
The issue here is not a parent spanking his or her son. The issue here is a non parent a person not genetically related to the kid spanking him. If the father did it it would be a different story although the mother would still have a right to be upset and demand that it not happen again. If you put your hands on my child not in self defense and you are not his mother I am going to have a massive problem with it. Keep your ****ing hands to yourself.

Well, she is a step-mother who has the permission and support of her husband and appears to be the full-time parent here. You can stop with the "non parent" tripe. One doesn't need to be genetically related to a kid be a parent to that kid.
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Old Yesterday, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,480 posts, read 7,777,927 times
Reputation: 18092
Quote:
Originally Posted by john620 View Post
The stepmom slapped a 13 year old child. I think the stepmom has unhinged aggression going on.

I said the mom should ask the step mom if she would like to have the @hit slapped out of her because the step mom has demonstrated she is comfortable slapping a child. This is to make a point. Letís say the step mom bullied a co worker in the office. Is it ok for her step mother (if she has one 60 or 70 years old) to spank her because of it. The whole thing is ridiculous.

I hope you arenít raising children because if you are divorced and a man or woman who is not the father or mother put his or her hands on your son or daughter, and you donít have a problem with it, that is very telling.
I've already raised four kids who are now very productive, educated adults.

You have serious aggression issues.
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Old Yesterday, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,354 posts, read 4,907,269 times
Reputation: 3126
Does your custody agreement address whether or not a step parent may discipline your child?
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Old Yesterday, 06:46 PM
DKM
 
Location: Thousand Oaks, CA
2,333 posts, read 794,374 times
Reputation: 2415
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
Does your custody agreement address whether or not a step parent may discipline your child?
It doesn't have to, if that's what you are implying.
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Old Yesterday, 06:56 PM
 
7,121 posts, read 3,943,887 times
Reputation: 4768
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
This is CRAP advice. a) Spanking is not illegal. b) this person is the full time custodian of this child. c) not to be mean, but there must be some reason that Mom is NOT 50% custodian of this child.

You have a wacky sense that the world works the way you think it should. It doesn't. You can't make some face jail time just as this poster would have to power to get CPS involved overa spanking, no matter how ill advised spanking a 13 year old is.
Spanking is very much illegal in some states. My ex would get jail time because he specifically signed an agreement the last time with the judge, that he would never do it again. And if he did, he would go to jail the next time.

Just because you want it to be ok, doesnít make it right. spanking is child abuse. Prosecutable in many states.
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Old Yesterday, 07:04 PM
 
7,121 posts, read 3,943,887 times
Reputation: 4768
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo980 View Post
I agree with that... was just responding to the assumptions about their custody arrangement, since it seemed like people here were judging without information. Even as a woman, it irks me how sexist (against men) folks are when it comes to these things. If a man doesn't get primary custody, nobody bats an eyelash! But when it's the woman, they get questioned as to what they did "wrong" to "lose" custody. It's a little imbalanced, to say the least.
Men have done it themselves over the years... because so many have proven that their contribution to parenting is microscopic. Literally
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Old Yesterday, 07:10 PM
 
7,121 posts, read 3,943,887 times
Reputation: 4768
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo980 View Post
Exactly. Unless the biological mother was dead or 100% absent, she still has a say in how her child is raised... and the LAST one in this equation who should be making the decisions is the step-parent. Grounding or taking away possessions/privileges is one thing, but I would never lay my hands on a child who wasn't actually mine. That's just not okay, and one of the reasons they no longer allow corporal punishment in public schools.

I also think 13 is too old for this sort of punishment - almost creepy, as someone else mentioned earlier. At that age, taking away their "devices" would probably have more impact.
Agreed. My exís wife is not my sons parent and has zero say in anything. My ex has very little say...specifically written in our custody agreement so it would never be an issue. He canít even cut sons hair without speakyto me first.
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Old Yesterday, 07:15 PM
 
7,121 posts, read 3,943,887 times
Reputation: 4768
Quote:
Originally Posted by DKM View Post
It doesn't have to, if that's what you are implying.
Only a fool would not include these types of situations in their custody agreement. I am thankful my lawyer is excellent because he covered things like step parents.
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