U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old Yesterday, 08:49 PM
 
608 posts, read 540,922 times
Reputation: 1191

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
I've already raised four kids who are now very productive, educated adults.

You have serious aggression issues.
You literally support a woman spanking a 13 year old boy. That’s unhinged aggression.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old Yesterday, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,851 posts, read 44,205,655 times
Reputation: 19945
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
Well, she is a step-mother who has the permission and support of her husband and appears to be the full-time parent here. You can stop with the "non parent" tripe. One doesn't need to be genetically related to a kid be a parent to that kid.
And yet someone else accused the biological mother of being a non-parent, so which is it? She (OP) was also very clear in that they have SHARED custody, with the child being in her care on weekends. This isn't a case where a step-parent is "replacing" an absent or deceased mother/father; this is a co-parenting situation, where ALL THREE of them need to be on the same page with discipline. Must be awfully confusing for the child otherwise, when you have one household contradicting the other.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,851 posts, read 44,205,655 times
Reputation: 19945
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Men have done it themselves over the years... because so many have proven that their contribution to parenting is microscopic. Literally
I can't necessarily argue with that... and I realize the moms are usually the "default custodial parent," but it's unfair to assume she did something wrong if dad has custody. Just trying to foster equality on both sides, ya know?

But I guess this is still an issue of women getting the shaft, as of course she MUST be a trainwreck if dad gets the kids. And yet when mom gets full/primary custody, you also have people saying she must have "screwed him over," or that the courts always side with women. We just can't win, lol.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:21 PM
 
613 posts, read 148,055 times
Reputation: 1332
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Men have done it themselves over the years... because so many have proven that their contribution to parenting is microscopic. Literally
Yes, let's paint all men with a broad brush because of your personal anecdote.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,851 posts, read 44,205,655 times
Reputation: 19945
Quote:
Originally Posted by djsuperfly View Post
Yes, let's paint all men with a broad brush because of your personal anecdote.
"So many" does not = ALL.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:51 PM
 
308 posts, read 65,433 times
Reputation: 727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toriee View Post
My 13 year old son lives with his dad who has primary custody and I get him every other weekend. His dad has remarried and has been with his wife for 5 years. I found out my son has been bullying a special needs kid at school with a speech impediment. He got in school suspension for 3 days and when he came home from school, his stepmother spanked him. It was with her hand and there's no bruising but he told me it hurt a lot and I'm ****ing pissed. She also made him write an apology letter to the student and grounded him for 2 weeks with no electronics. His father works long hours so his stepmom feels entitled because she's a stay at home wife and she's with him more but it's not okay.

I'm very upset at what my son did and he absolutely deserved to be punished but this woman had no right to touch my kid. His father supports what she did and gave her permission and I'm ready to raise hell. I need her to learn her place as a stepparent NOT a parent.
Wow. Great stepmom. You should thank her. Btw, what did you do to lose custody and only be able to see your kid(s) every other weekend?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:03 PM
 
2 posts, read 450 times
Reputation: 10
I had my son young and I really wasn't ready to be a parent and so his dad stepped up. I love my son to death. I get him EOWE and holidays and 2 weeks in the summer so we are close. He also has told me he really likes his stepmom so this was a shock. I'm upset at him but that doesn't take away from my anger with her. She doesn't understand boundaries as a stepparent.

I have her number and I've typed and deleted so many texts because I'm really close to going off.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:08 PM
 
7,289 posts, read 12,901,723 times
Reputation: 8683
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo980 View Post
And yet someone else accused the biological mother of being a non-parent, so which is it? She (OP) was also very clear in that they have SHARED custody, with the child being in her care on weekends. This isn't a case where a step-parent is "replacing" an absent or deceased mother/father; this is a co-parenting situation, where ALL THREE of them need to be on the same page with discipline. Must be awfully confusing for the child otherwise, when you have one household contradicting the other.
I didn't see anyone else calling the OP a "non-parent". Which post was that?

The OP said she had the kid every other weekend.

I totally agree it would be ideal if they could all work together to co-parent the kid. Which was why I stated earlier she should talk to the father. But not in a hell raising way. I get that she's upset but she cannot effectively communicate her concerns if she's raising hell.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:27 PM
 
7,289 posts, read 12,901,723 times
Reputation: 8683
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toriee View Post
I had my son young and I really wasn't ready to be a parent and so his dad stepped up. I love my son to death. I get him EOWE and holidays and 2 weeks in the summer so we are close. He also has told me he really likes his stepmom so this was a shock. I'm upset at him but that doesn't take away from my anger with her. She doesn't understand boundaries as a stepparent.

I have her number and I've typed and deleted so many texts because I'm really close to going off.
Ah ok, if he likes her, it sounds like otherwise he's got a good stepmom situation. And it's good that his father stepped up to take care of the kid when you couldn't. Have you talked to the father about this issue?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 10:30 PM
 
8,687 posts, read 8,872,741 times
Reputation: 27117
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toriee View Post
My 13 year old son lives with his dad who has primary custody and I get him every other weekend. His dad has remarried and has been with his wife for 5 years. I found out my son has been bullying a special needs kid at school with a speech impediment. He got in school suspension for 3 days and when he came home from school, his stepmother spanked him. It was with her hand and there's no bruising but he told me it hurt a lot and I'm ****ing pissed. She also made him write an apology letter to the student and grounded him for 2 weeks with no electronics. His father works long hours so his stepmom feels entitled because she's a stay at home wife and she's with him more but it's not okay.

I'm very upset at what my son did and he absolutely deserved to be punished but this woman had no right to touch my kid. His father supports what she did and gave her permission and I'm ready to raise hell. I need her to learn her place as a stepparent NOT a parent.
Legally, a step parent has the same right to discipline that a biological parent has. I might disagree with her choice of discipline here, but she was right to punish your son for this. Bullying is extremely serious.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top