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Old 02-08-2019, 08:18 PM
 
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@veuvegirl, (sorry, I don't know how to quote in this forum) I am aware it is not a world class university. I was referring to the SALT Center learning disability support services at the University. I also know if a student wants to find a party at any college then they will find the party. Good to be reminded though! Sorry to hear you had a bad experience.
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Old 02-09-2019, 03:41 AM
 
Location: NJ
9,824 posts, read 20,713,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hokypoky View Post
@veuvegirl, (sorry, I don't know how to quote in this forum) I am aware it is not a world class university. I was referring to the SALT Center learning disability support services at the University. I also know if a student wants to find a party at any college then they will find the party. Good to be reminded though! Sorry to hear you had a bad experience.
Very easy to quote. Each reply has a button that says quote at the bottom of the reply. Just push the quote button
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Old 02-09-2019, 07:11 AM
 
Location: Central CT, sometimes NH.
3,302 posts, read 4,997,977 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hokypoky View Post
My 17.5 year old son is a senior whose grades have been slipping for the second half of high school. He has ADHD and has always been a B student until lately he's been bordering C/D. Applying to colleges he had a 2.6 and got a 28 on the ACT. He got into U of Arizona where they have world-class disability services. We've visited, he likes it and wants to go there. It will be out of state for us so will be expensive. Luckily we do have the money saved for his tuition.

He got into the wrong crowd for a while at high school and was smoking/vaping pot, was suspended once for possession, pushed the limits by breaking curfew many times but is overall fairly respectful at home and with authority. He has distanced himself from some of the problem kids at school but I can tell he is a bit lonely and unhappy. He is constantly turning in homework late and is usually tardy to most of his classes and doesn't seem to care. This year he is only taking 4 academic classes and barely got a 2.0. He is very active in a sport that keeps him somewhat busy but when he's not at practice he plays video games all the time. Doesn't do the homework on time. Has horrible study skills (though he did take a college level Psychology course at the local community college and got an A). He's seen a therapist for a while. Evidently my involvement in telling him what to do puts him off and now I get to sit back and watch him self-destruct so he can learn from his own mistakes. He is mainly a good kid, though and wants to go to college. But right now looking in the current grade book he has 2 D's, and F and a C and none of them are honors or AP.

I feel like I might be setting him up for failure (which he has already had plenty of experience with already) sending him away if he has little desire to work hard and persevere. And I'll basically be gambling 50K on the tuition. He tells me he'd rather be homeless than stay at home and go to community college. He has zero interest in any Gap Year programs (my preference for him). He wants to get out of our house because his relationship with Dad is touch-and-go most of the time and he just wants to be independent. I feel like this is a dire situation but then again where we live is an unusual bubble of wealth and high-achievers. Would you send a low achiever off to college where they will more likely than not f*** around and play video games all day?!? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt just because he was accepted? He'll meet with an academic coach 1x/week and have tutoring for all his classes but he will have to do all the other hard work on his own. I welcome any opinions!
How about having him take a year working full-time to discover the value of an education and skills? You could agree to help him get an apartment and possibly partially subsidize the rent with the agreement that he would save a certain portion of what he earns toward his future education.
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Old 02-09-2019, 07:19 AM
 
3,484 posts, read 1,928,549 times
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I do not think he is college ready, even if he fully utilizes the features of the SALT program at Arizona.

A big public school like Arizona is a tough environment. There are large lecture halls of 200-500 depending on the school in freshman/sophomore year. It can be really easy to get lost in the shuffle. Socially, it can be difficult to find your niche in such a big place.
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Old 02-09-2019, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,672 posts, read 21,098,025 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hokypoky View Post
@veuvegirl, (sorry, I don't know how to quote in this forum) I am aware it is not a world class university. I was referring to the SALT Center learning disability support services at the University. I also know if a student wants to find a party at any college then they will find the party. Good to be reminded though! Sorry to hear you had a bad experience.
It was a fun experience too fun. I graduated, but had no help navigating the school or helping me through. I sank and did not thrive.

Another poster remarked on community college being a poor choice because he will sink, there is no attendance taken. U of A doesnít take attendance, there is no structure. I am not familiar with the SALT program there, so canít speak to it. I would just recommend a smaller or private University that will provide better guidance.

My son is currently at community college, has ADHD and is doing great. For him it is the stepping stone he needed before jumping into a University.
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Old 02-09-2019, 09:00 AM
 
6,235 posts, read 3,340,654 times
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Being in Silicon Valley, have you looked at Foothill for the first couple of years? My wife has learning disabilities and loved it there. This was some years ago, but she found them to have very good LD support at a time when most colleges didn't and did very well in her classes. Very nice campus there as well.

On the other hand, I also understand Silicon Valley can be miserable for some people. We hated our years there. The environment was just so unfriendly for lack of a better word. Culturally and psychologically we thrived much better in Colorado. But she loved her time at Foothill. She still has very fond memories of it and wished she could find another place that worked so well with her learning disabilities.
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:37 AM
 
5,185 posts, read 6,413,972 times
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I would tell him that he needs to do a year at community college. If he maintains a certain GPA, like a 3.0, then he can transfer. Also, what therapies is he receiving to manage his ADHD? If that's not being addressed, then he is not going to be successful in school. It sounds as if he's self medicating, which is not uncommon. For the record, when I say therapies, I'm not just referring to medication, which may or may not be indicated. I mean behavioral therapies as well.
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Old 02-09-2019, 02:26 PM
 
538 posts, read 535,646 times
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As the mother of a dyslexic and LD (but not ADHD) kid, I'd send him off. Mine, too, acted up during the last semester of high school but ended up graduating from ASU and even made the Honor Roll one year. If UA has world-class disability services, they're used to dealing with students like yours.

One thing that I wish someone had told me with my son was that he needed to rise or fall on his own. I tried to protect him too much because I was so scared he would fail. Now that he's a father and in his 30s, I can see where that hampered his emotional development. Some of the most successful people have ADHD or dyslexia (nobody calls Spielberg "stupid"). Like everyone else in life, your son needs to find his own way. You just need him to know that you're on his side and support him in his endeavors. Good luck.
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Old 02-09-2019, 03:57 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,060 posts, read 22,426,382 times
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Originally Posted by Fullofdispair View Post
Don't bother with paying for college, I paid for my daughter to attend community college three times but failed all three times, now she's 36 and a loser that is going nowhere.
Community college does not work out well for marginal students. It never has. It does serve other purposes that I won't name here, because they do not address the OP's question.
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Old 02-11-2019, 12:06 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,060 posts, read 22,426,382 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
I went to Arizona. World Class does not equal Arizona. I canít imagine having ADHD and going to the school. The lower level classes have up to 600 people, the counselors are horrible. Itís a party school.
I would agree that a large state university might not be the best place for him. I would suggest a small, liberal arts college.

So many young men with ADD flourish at such places.

I would also agree that going away from home is important. He is clearly tired of living at home, and tired of HS. Dorm life offers the perfect transition from living at home to living on one's own.
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