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Old 03-04-2019, 12:31 PM
 
11,810 posts, read 9,596,653 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ma23 View Post
How do moms manage the work-life balance? How do you manage being a parent and being a successful worker?
- Organization.
- Partner with my spouse.
- Get the kids involved from an early age.
- Habits and routines.
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Old 03-04-2019, 12:38 PM
 
11,810 posts, read 9,596,653 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WellShoneMoon View Post
The answer is: with great difficulty. It is not easy. It helps a lot if you have a flexible job and a supportive partner.
A supportive partner? Am I the only one who does not think of work/life balance to be solely the MOTHER'S responsibility?

I am kind of blown away at the posters who imply this is near impossible.
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Old 03-04-2019, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
20,112 posts, read 10,955,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
I think work-life balance and parenthood are mutually exclusive.
I disagree. I'm a sole parent mom and I've worked full time since my son was born. It absolutely was extremely tough to begin with, esp. since he was a very difficult baby and toddler who literally never slept through the night until he turned 2 and gave up naps.

However, things improved over time esp. once I started my current job about 6 years ago. My office is about 15 minutes from home and his school is in between our house and my office. And while I do work full time, I have pretty much unrestricted flexibility to come and go as needed. Yes, sometimes I work evenings or weekends to make up time and get the work done, but I'm still able to be where I need to be when I need to be, whether that's for my kid or to help with caregiving for my own elderly mother.

I am successful in my job, which is one I enjoy very much, and consistently am rated a top performer and receive the highest raises allowed here - it's a non-profit so that's not actually saying much! lol! But I earn enough to support myself and the kiddo and have a reasonably comfortable lifestyle.

I'm also able to be the chair of the PTO at my kid's school, and we also have another regular volunteer gig at a local food bank that we do together. Plus be semi-active in our religious community as well as socialize with family and friends.

I definitely can't claim that I had things together like this when he was younger, but it got a whole lot easier once he was in middle school.
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Old 03-04-2019, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,946 posts, read 3,685,636 times
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I was fortunate enough to stay home until my youngest went to school. We cut back during those years and made it work. Now I only work 4 days a week while kids are at school. The day I'm off I clean, grocery shop and run errands. When kids are off I'm off. In the summer I reduce my hours greatly and work from home. I have a great boss that is very flexible. I was upfront with him from the beginning on what I needed and he has been extremely flexible!
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Old 03-04-2019, 02:38 PM
 
Location: WI
2,853 posts, read 3,148,695 times
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Outsourcing- hire a cleaning person, for example, so that when you’re off you can spend time with the family, not scrubbing floors

Being highly organized

Seek out workplaces that allow for flexibility (telecommuting, ability to work 6-3, etc.)

Minimize commutes as much as possible

Get the kids involved and have them take ownership of things

I don't think parenthood and work life balance are mutually exclusive- what a comment!

Last edited by strawflower; 03-04-2019 at 03:42 PM..
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Old 03-04-2019, 05:09 PM
 
Location: VT-> NY-> CT
8,779 posts, read 5,034,337 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WellShoneMoon View Post
The answer is: with great difficulty. It is not easy. It helps a lot if you have a flexible job and a supportive partner.
Yup. The same way dads have a work-life balance. Although they never seem to get asked this question...
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Old 03-04-2019, 05:39 PM
 
Location: The analog world
16,841 posts, read 9,444,342 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
Outsourcing- hire a cleaning person, for example, so that when you’re off you can spend time with the family, not scrubbing floors

Being highly organized

Seek out workplaces that allow for flexibility (telecommuting, ability to work 6-3, etc.)

Minimize commutes as much as possible

Get the kids involved and have them take ownership of things

I don't think parenthood and work life balance are mutually exclusive- what a comment!
Sorry, but that’s just how I see it. I don’t associate parenthood with a balanced life. Family’s needs don’t fit neatly into a box that way. I do think there are ways that parents, both mothers and fathers, can organize their lives to reduce the stress of trying to fit everything in, but as for balance, I just don’t think it’s possible. — signed a mother of three mostly adult children
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Old 03-04-2019, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,674 posts, read 16,683,378 times
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I think a lot depends on your job. If you are someone who is forced to work long hours by the nature of your job (doctor, lawyer, executive, special education teacher, etc.) it is a lot more difficult than if you can walk out the door of your job at quitting time and not have hours of work left to do when you arrive home (or can be called in for emergencies).

Also, the atmosphere of your job can make a tremendous difference. One of my jobs technically offered ten sick days per year but the bosses threatened to fire anyone who used more than zero to two sick days a year. Imagine trying to care for your own health and the health of your family with zero to two sick days a year! One bad cold or getting the flu and you would be constantly fearful of being fired. Ironically the bosses had (I believe) 20 sick days per year and were not fearful of using them.

I could tell you stories that would turn your hair grey about unreasonable supervisors who put very unrealistic demands on their employees (both men & women).
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Old 03-04-2019, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
20,112 posts, read 10,955,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I think a lot depends on your job. If you are someone who is forced to work long hours by the nature of your job (doctor, lawyer, executive, special education teacher, etc.) it is a lot more difficult than if you can walk out the door of your job at quitting time and not have hours of work left to do when you arrive home (or can be called in for emergencies).

Also, the atmosphere of your job can make a tremendous difference. One of my jobs technically offered ten sick days per year but the bosses threatened to fire anyone who used more than zero to two sick days a year. Imagine trying to care for your own health and the health of your family with zero to two sick days a year! One bad cold or getting the flu and you would be constantly fearful of being fired. Ironically the bosses had (I believe) 20 sick days per year and were not fearful of using them.

I could tell you stories that would turn your hair grey about unreasonable supervisors who put very unrealistic demands on their employees (both men & women).
It depends on your workplace far more than your job. I'm a lawyer and have lots of flexibility but don't make a lot of money because I'm at a not for profit rather than a big firm. I have other lawyer mom friends who work in house for corporations or at a University or in other less than traditional legal jobs for the same reasons.

I also know several women physicians who work for Kaiser HMOs because they have much more ability to limit their hours and to work less than full time (which ends up being close to 40 hours, but less than in many other medical environments).

And to some extent, it's even more supervisor-dependent than workplace-dependent as your experience with the sick days show. Jerky managers screw it up for everyone, and good managers are a huge factor in having things work out ok.

I would also add (didn't mention this before) that I had my kid later in life, and I think that had been a big factor too, because I had already put in the time of working at jobs where I had to put in lots and lots of time and effort to become more established. I couldn't have gotten my current role without all those years of experience (and I also have an Masters degree related to my field, in addition to my legal degree). Someone starting off a career is going to have a far tougher time.
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Old 03-05-2019, 06:46 AM
 
11,810 posts, read 9,596,653 times
Reputation: 15359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants View Post
Yup. The same way dads have a work-life balance. Although they never seem to get asked this question...
The truth bomb Mom does a segment on this. She asks a bunch of Dads this question. She gets dead stares. It is pretty ... funny if it weren't so disheartening. I won't lie. I have to organize for DH AND I.
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