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Old Yesterday, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,681 posts, read 1,122,352 times
Reputation: 3184

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I think of how common all this molly coddling is now - ugh !

When I grew up 60's & 70's this was not common at all. Thank Goodness

There's only one guy I can think of, his mother, although a very sweet woman, was wayyyyy over involved in his life. (this was unusual to see back then) I think he was just use to her overbearing manner. He's very nice, however, naive, timid, lacks confidence, this is obvious when meeting him, knowing him.

As an adult he's kinda like a deer in the headlights about many situations where he's not able to think for himself, be assertive and have the "built in" know how to make good and informed decisions. Wisdom.

He was married to a very overbearing woman that made all the decisions all he had to do was "show up" and NOT think for himself. He would mention the same fight he and his wife would get in to and it was always "I don't know why she's so mad she didn't TELL ME to do ..."

(It sounded like he had a parent/child marriage) This would make sense since, it seems, he never fully matured. Although very kind, a man-child.

In conversations with him when we've discussed business, relationships, etc. He has said, "How did you know how to ..." "Where did you think of..." "Where did you get that idea..."

I've replied, Well I guess it's just been life experiences. My parents expected us to become independent at a young age and figure out anything & everything on our own, and we did.
As kids we didn't go to our parents with questions like "How do I do this..." "What is this..." "What should I do..." etc.
Their answer would be the same - You'll figure it out.

Last edited by 70's Music Girl; Yesterday at 06:33 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 06:37 PM
 
3,477 posts, read 680,570 times
Reputation: 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
I was born in 1958 and my kids walked to school alone at 5 (1989-93), parents dropped kids off at practice and no one stayed to watch, never heard of a play date back then. That was in the midwest.

However, that was around the start of the self esteem movement where everyone got a trophy. Many of us young boomer coaches defied the trend and made sure we kept score and the winners got giant trophies.
Exactly. My children were not coddled/helicoptered. Perhaps that is why they have been successful in all of their life's being, including not coddling my grandkids.
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Old Today, 11:33 AM
 
Location: planet earth
4,080 posts, read 1,493,346 times
Reputation: 9125
I think many parents are getting their emotional needs met through their children - so some emotional incest going on.
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Old Today, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,984 posts, read 3,394,449 times
Reputation: 9768
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70's Music Girl View Post
I think of how common all this molly coddling is now - ugh !

When I grew up 60's & 70's this was not common at all. Thank Goodness

There's only one guy I can think of, his mother, although a very sweet woman, was wayyyyy over involved in his life. (this was unusual to see back then) I think he was just use to her overbearing manner. He's very nice, however, naive, timid, lacks confidence, this is obvious when meeting him, knowing him.

As an adult he's kinda like a deer in the headlights about many situations where he's not able to think for himself, be assertive and have the "built in" know how to make good and informed decisions. Wisdom.

He was married to a very overbearing woman that made all the decisions all he had to do was "show up" and NOT think for himself. He would mention the same fight he and his wife would get in to and it was always "I don't know why she's so mad she didn't TELL ME to do ..."

(It sounded like he had a parent/child marriage) This would make sense since, it seems, he never fully matured. Although very kind, a man-child.

In conversations with him when we've discussed business, relationships, etc. He has said, "How did you know how to ..." "Where did you think of..." "Where did you get that idea..."

I've replied, Well I guess it's just been life experiences. My parents expected us to become independent at a young age and figure out anything & everything on our own, and we did.
As kids we didn't go to our parents with questions like "How do I do this..." "What is this..." "What should I do..." etc.
Their answer would be the same - You'll figure it out.
Well now you could tell him, "just Google it and go from there!"

I grew up in the 80s. I know TONS of people my age and older who have no idea how to make good decisions. Like, I'm often astounded at how much people don't know how to do. I don't even think it has to do with parenting; I suspect it has to do with personality differences. When I see a problem, I tend to just jump in and figure it out, sometimes in nontraditional or unexpected ways. My kids are generally the same way. I have friends and acquaintances who are pretty much the opposite, though. They question everything 10 different ways before they try something new. I don't really understand it, but I think it's just how they are wired. Some people think outside the box and some come with a million and one excuses explaining why this or that would NEVER work. Like, "I've tried nothing, and nothing is working!" Personalities and hangups are weird.
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Old Today, 01:27 PM
 
Location: NJ
23,360 posts, read 29,469,075 times
Reputation: 15263
Quote:
Originally Posted by platon20 View Post
We've all heard of helicopter parents but it seems to be affecting even the "kids" that are not grown ups.

I'm totally shocked at how many 20 and 30 year olds are coddled by parents in our society today. When I turned 18 I couldn't wait to get out on my own and get out from parent's orbit of influence. I loved my parents and had a great childhood but I was ready to move on.

Nowadays it seems different. Obviously rich people have always spoiled their adult kids but even middle class parents on 80k incomes are a lot more clingy these days than they used to be. I'm seeing things like parents going with their kids to grad school tours, getting involved in the details of their job search, grad school search, home search, etc.

It's not just financial, it's just way too much over involvement in general. It never would have occurred to me to take my mom/dad with me to look at med schools, or to have them shop my first house with me. I don't get it.

I wonder if some of these parents are interviewing their kids' boyfriends/girlfriends?
i think it is more of a case of older people wanting to judge younger people. always looking to manufacture criticisms of people that are in the younger generation. that hasnt changed and this is simply an example of that.
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