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Old Yesterday, 05:59 PM
 
Location: USA
2,519 posts, read 1,904,774 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tottsieanna View Post
I believe there were always some parents like that, but now technology makes it easier.
I agree. Maybe with smaller families being common, it's easier to become more involved in a child's life. Idk, I would think a large family of children would make it more difficult to become overly involved.
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Old Yesterday, 06:08 PM
 
Location: The analog world
16,691 posts, read 9,397,343 times
Reputation: 22341
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
I agree. Maybe with smaller families being common, it's easier to become more involved in a child's life. Idk, I would think a large family of children would make it more difficult to become overly involved.
Thereís some truth to that, I think.
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Old Yesterday, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,925 posts, read 3,374,858 times
Reputation: 9647
Meh. Every generation thinks the subsequent generations are coddled and pampered. It's always been this way. Yes, there are helicopter parents now and yes, there were helicopter parents then. When we bought our first home almost 20 years ago, we invited my in-laws to a second showing to see the house we were planning to bid on to get their advice. My mother-in-law was not at all a helicopter mom, though... I just don't see this as anything out of the ordinary, to be honest.

I was more helicoptery when the kids were little. Now they are teens and they are pretty independent. I wouldn't go to job interview with either of them even though I arranged playdates for them 10 or 12 years ago. I'm really not too worried about how this generation will end up turning out. The things my friends and I obsessed over when the kids were 2 or 4 or 9 or 12 years old have all turned out to be non-issues... and I think that this will largely be a non-issue as well.
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Old Yesterday, 08:35 PM
 
2,067 posts, read 748,682 times
Reputation: 4022
they used to be called "stage mothers".
the term was used generically referring to the overbearing.
since "helicopter" and "lawn-mower" are still current,
i wonder what word or phrase will be employed
to designate the future parents of the pampered.
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Old Yesterday, 11:30 PM
 
Location: East Cobb, GA—>Dallas, TX
962 posts, read 415,036 times
Reputation: 1439
It’s not like this issue isn’t brought up every day and society and that there are 18492 threads on it already.
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Old Yesterday, 11:33 PM
 
4,830 posts, read 2,047,295 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrugalFox View Post
Are you a parent?
I'm going with no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccernerd View Post
Itís not like this issue isnít brought up every day and society and that there are 18492 threads on it already.
And this.
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Old Today, 08:54 AM
 
2,539 posts, read 1,414,627 times
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I think thereís a fine line between over-coddling and genuinely being involved because your child asks you to. I know when we were looking at houses I asked my parents to come to give a second opinion. Likewise my mom came on my grad school tours because I asked her to because I value her feedback. So I think some of your statements are a little inaccurate.

That said I do think we can over-coddle our children and make a concentrated effort not to do that with mine. I want him to respect and value in opinion while formulating his own and understand that itís ok to disagree.
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Old Today, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
53,506 posts, read 52,544,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by platon20 View Post
We've all heard of helicopter parents but it seems to be affecting even the "kids" that are not grown ups.

I'm totally shocked at how many 20 and 30 year olds are coddled by parents in our society today. When I turned 18 I couldn't wait to get out on my own and get out from parent's orbit of influence. I loved my parents and had a great childhood but I was ready to move on.

Nowadays it seems different. Obviously rich people have always spoiled their adult kids but even middle class parents on 80k incomes are a lot more clingy these days than they used to be. I'm seeing things like parents going with their kids to grad school tours, getting involved in the details of their job search, grad school search, home search, etc.

It's not just financial, it's just way too much over involvement in general. It never would have occurred to me to take my mom/dad with me to look at med schools, or to have them shop my first house with me. I don't get it.

I wonder if some of these parents are interviewing their kids' boyfriends/girlfriends?
A friend of mine is in her late 70s. Her oldest son is 55. He got divorced a couple of years ago, and has been living with her for a while to save money.

He just found a home and is closing later this month. My friend cancelled a commitment with an organization to which she belongs the other day so that she could "be there for him" when the home inspection took place. He just seems resigned to the fact that this is the way his mother is.

I was mildly shocked recently to hear of a friend who was complaining about how much work it was filling out her son's college applications. I never even saw one. My daughter did hers on her own (though I provided application fees, of course. )
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Old Today, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
53,506 posts, read 52,544,646 times
Reputation: 62974
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabanana123 View Post
I think there’s a fine line between over-coddling and genuinely being involved because your child asks you to. I know when we were looking at houses I asked my parents to come to give a second opinion. Likewise my mom came on my grad school tours because I asked her to because I value her feedback. So I think some of your statements are a little inaccurate.

That said I do think we can over-coddle our children and make a concentrated effort not to do that with mine. I want him to respect and value in opinion while formulating his own and understand that it’s ok to disagree.
Haha, my dd is considering transferring schools to finish her PhD. She asked me if I wanted to go on the tour of the school she is looking at because it's in my area and then we could do lunch and have a day together. I don't know yet if I will be available, and she said "OK, I told them two people, so if you can't make it, I'll drag my boyfriend along."

At 20, this kid got on a plane alone and flew to the other side of the planet to study abroad. She doesn't NEED me to be there. That's the difference.

I do think sometimes it's not just the parents but that some kids by nature need more hand-holding. Mine never did, and it surprised me sometimes when she was a kid that she went forth and did things boldly that I would have been too chicken to do at her age.
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Old Today, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
53,506 posts, read 52,544,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeydance View Post
they used to be called "stage mothers".
the term was used generically referring to the overbearing.
since "helicopter" and "lawn-mower" are still current,
i wonder what word or phrase will be employed
to designate the future parents of the pampered.
Space Station Moms.
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